Don’t read this story! Toxic plume to be gone by 2037!

YESTERDAY, the OC Register offered a tiny story about cleanup of the huge TOXIC PLUME beneath us here at Irvine Valley College and environs: Getting El Toro spick-and-span:

The last major pollution cleanup at the old El Toro base has begun.

Thirty-five pumps are now drawing up 390 gallons of polluted groundwater per minute, around the clock. The remediation will cost the federal government $42 million and could take 30 years.

The pumps are drawing up solvent-laced water from rock, sand and clay in an underground plume that extends about four miles under the base and into the neighboring village of Woodbridge.

The pollution comes from years of aircraft parts being cleaned with a solvent called trichloroethylene. Rainwater carried the solvent into the earth, and now the plume ranges from 150 feet deep under the base and 300 to 1,000 feet under Woodbridge.

"This is the major item that put the base onto the Environmental Protection Agency's national priority list," Darryn Newton said Friday. Newton is the Navy's project manager for cleanup of the Tustin and El Toro bases.

Newton said the cleanup process is not expected to interfere with development of the Great Park. Some Woodbridge residents have worried about possible groundwater contamination—but Navy and Environmental Protection Agency officials say the plume is about four miles from the nearest drinking water well.

Uh-oh. He actually uses it

WELL, it’s the time of the year for Irvine Valley College’s charming and ridiculous ASTOUNDING INVENTIONS, in which kids present, well, astounding inventions.

This morning, the OC Register reports on the 20th edition of the event in Celebrating young inventors:

Christian Molfetta was tired of picking up what his two dogs were leaving behind…So the fourth-grader…invented "Fido's Feces Flipper"—a wheelbarrow-like scooper that launches dog poop into a trash can with the twist of a handle.

"The great thing is, he actually uses it," his mother Elizabeth said.

…Second-grader Will Tate invented the Mop on Wheels—roller skates with mops attached. "I clean the house when it's dirty," he said….

…Some aim to help in the classroom, ...[such as] a flag that signals teachers with the flip of a switch, allowing the student to continue working instead of raising his or her hand.

…Not everyone had their creations on hand for demonstration…They included...a flying car to solve traffic problems and a robot that keeps secrets and helps with homework.

…The annual competition was conceived by Irvine Valley College in 1987 to promote creativity and interest in mathematics and science education.

…Students may go on to compete at different levels of state and national math and science invention competitions. Previous winners have also been featured guests on "The Tonight Show" with Jay Leno.