“Those who cannot remember the past obviously have some sort of dementia.”January 1
--George somebody
EXACTLY one year ago, we reprinted an interview of Linguist/Philosopher Noam Chomsky concerning the state of ACADEMIC FREEDOM. Right-wingers have promoted the idea that conservatism and conservatives are oppressed at American colleges and universities. Not so, said the good professor. In fact, it's the other way around, he said.
Subsequent events (see below) seemed to illustrate the Noamster's point.
At the time, I decided not to mention an amusing fact: that a certain notorious conservative operator (and Friend-o-Fuentes) signed up for one of my summer philosophy courses.
Was he lookin' for dirt? Did he have a secret tape recorder? Who knows. He stopped comin' after a while.
January 4
It was during the Chancellor’s Spring ’06 “opening” session, you’ll recall, that Chancellor Raghu P. Mathur offered his impersonation of “Carnac the Magnificent”—the old Johnny Carson routine—complete with an Ed McMahan-type 2nd banana.
You know the skit: Ed holds up the sealed envelope; Carnac divines the answer to the question it contains; Carnac opens the envelope and reads the answer; hilarity ensues.
The Raghu Players’ version went like this:
Carnac: “Piggly Wiggly.”Har har har! Well, it was a nice try, truly, but the routine was more embarrassing than entertaining. Well, no, it was so embarrassing that it was incredibly entertaining. Let’s hope Raghu revives it for tomorrow morning! More Piggly Wiggly!
Ed McMahon: “Piggly Wiggly!”
(Carnac now opens the envelope and reads the question:) “Describe Kermit the Frog’s wedding night.”
January 6
As we reported two days later, during the Faculty Association (union) luncheon that followed the Chancellor’s session, CCA President Carolyn Inmon spoke, alerting everybody to the "hidden tidal wave" of students who failed to receive High School diplomas owing to their performance in the state’s new exit test.
January 17
We unveiled our blog’s theme song: “You Did a Raghu Thing.”
January 19
On the 19th, we offered some updates. Months earlier, Rebel Girl had highlighted the district’s miserable accommodations for part-timers. We showed pictures of their squalid little room in IVC’s A200. But, on this day, we were able to report improvements! We showed pics.
Further, Chunk offered photos of the less-than-honest signs appearing at the IRWD facility across the street from Irvine Valley College, where, contrary to signage, they’re cleaning up toxic waste in the water table below us.
Have you ever noticed that IVC glows in the dark? Further, it is redolent of formaldehyde. It's a modern college, preserving the corpse-like past.
January 25
DtB reported on some stolen art-work at IVC’s Humanities Center. Evidently, the work was too LIBERAL for some right-wingers. It was never recovered. There was no outcry. Nothing. Bupkes.
Nevertheless, as you know, our colleges are hotbeds of mindless left-wing radicalism and liberal cardio-exsuanguinatude.
We reported, too, on the story of the CLUELESS organization at UCLA that offered cash to students who would provide recordings of instructors who were “abusive, one-sided or off-topic.” It was part of a larger effort to expose UCLA’s “radical professors.” You know, they were huntin' witches!
As you are no doubt aware, conservatives (Christians, Druids, et al.) are a stifled and oppressed minority on college campuses, like classicists. It’s like McCarthyism or something.
YEAH BUT you’ll recall that the whole thing blew up in the right-wingers’ faces, like a Republican war. The cash payment angle was a tad too much for people, and, amid talk of unamericanism and worse, righties washed their hands of the little group, joining in the chorus of condemnation and righteous peevitudinal indignation. (Shawn Steele, a Friend-of-Fuentes [FOF], continued to defend them. But of course!)
We’ve got some right-winger profs it Saddleback and IVC, y’know. Some of ‘em aren’t bashful about spouting their views neither. OK, so how often do you hear about leftists and Democrats recording 'em and making a stink about their “one-sided” rhetoric and their “abuse” of, say, Noam Chomsky or The Hillary? That would be: NEVER.
FEBRUARY
February 1
We reported on the board meeting that occurred the night before. Trustee Don Wagner motioned to remove the AMERICAN LIBRARY ASSOCIATION, that refuge of pornographic child-abusers and “liberal busybodies,” from the list of institutional memberships. He really seemed to say that the ALA is in favor of letting kids view porn! Um, evidently, those librarians were desperately trying to stop something called the "Keep Porno from Tykes" Act, if I remember correctly. Plus they supported the "Unamerican Act," the curs.
Amazingly, Don got his way. State-wide ridicule soon ensued, at least within the college circuit.
February 2
By this time, the Accreditors (ACCJC) were breathing down our necks, having already recommended that we deal with trustee micromanagement, a plague of despair, hinky exec hiring procedures, and violations of the Thespian Apiary Act.
On the 2nd of February, we reported that the Accreds had just finally responded to our two colleges’ recent reports, which were supposed to describe progress made re those troubling recommendations.
Alas, according to these new “action letters,” our efforts were judged to be inadequate. Uh-oh. (But wait! Can't you see? It is all part of a conspiracy of South County Anthro instructors who seek to teach polyandy with impunity and Reassigned Time!)
Essentially, the whole ACCRED situation pointed a finger of blame, not at the faculty or staff, but at the chancellor and board. So you’d think the trustees would try to give the Accreds what they wanted. But no. At least some trustees (well, Mr. Tom Evil) soon settled into a pattern of open defiance.
In the meantime, the Accreds were expecting another progress report (in the fall)! It was like a cliff-hanger!
February 7
During the January board meeting, Trustee Nancy Padberg questioned a request for $20,000 to pay for a “junket” by trustees + Chancellor to Orlando, Florida—where trustees were to stay at the lovely and opulent “Peabody & Donald Duck Orlando” (see http://www.peabodyorlando.com/).
The discussion seemed to suggest that trustee John Williams goes to this Peabody place on the district’s dime every chance he gets, even when there are local conventions that offer the same crap (you know, “good trusteeship” and all). Johnny Boy won’t go to those. Nope.
Williams responded by attacking Padberg (something about frequent flier miles!) and suggesting—get this!—that it would be unethical for him not to go to Florida!
You gotta love Johnny. It's like he's from a movie!
February 8
The Reb pointed out that the Saddleback College “Gaucho” icon is, in fact, a sombrero-wearing Mexican, not a Gaucho, which, as literate persons know, is an Argentinean cowboy with a totally different sense of style, plus a different continent.
We dutifully reported on a “BOMB SCARE” at IVC. In fact, the knucklehead IVC Chief of Police mistook a simple camera weight (i.e., sand in a bag) for a bomb. So, naturally, he and Rocky, having reflected carefully on the bag-o-sand, called in the bomb squad, and those guys brought in their little robot, B9, which commenced grabbing and dropping the “bomb” and sputtering aimlessly.
Students sold tacos in the parking lot. I giant pumpkin was rolled onto the lawn. Everyone had a good time.
February 9
On the ninth of February, we reported on the first “Technical Assistance” (T&A) shindig, an attempt to bring together the various governance groups—the board, the faculty, et al.—to make progress on the Accred’s recommendations. On hand was Ian Walton of the State Academic Senate, representing faculty, and Dianne Woodruff of the CCLC, representing Satan.
We offered extended cyber-yappage about this so-called T&A shindig. Fuentes was defiant. When someone suggested that the parties were there to come to some kind of agreement, Fuentes stopped the whole show, saying, “It’s not an evening of agreement!” He was really saying: hey, nobody tells US what to do. He was very nearly out of control!
People took turns offering suggestions. The always hate-filled Fuentes, in full eye-rolling mode, looked to the heavens and suggested that everyone should be “guided by love.” My head popped.
February 14
We had fun noting the utter inanity of the “be nice” and “respect others” IDEAS that Chancellor Mathur brought to the T&A. UnFRICKINbelievable. And yet charming.
February 20
At one point during the T&A, trustee Fuentes tired of hearing about board micromanagement. Stop stop stop! What about the “macromanagement” of others?!, he roared.
As we reported, during the February board meeting, the Academic Senates read a resolution asking the board to keep out of the faculty’s business. They were referring, of course, to the decision to cease institutional membership in the American Library Association.
The classified contract was finally approved.
Fuentes and Wagner objected once again to the Santander, Spain “study abroad” program. Nothing about “abandoning our fighting men and women” this time. Nope, it’s too costly, they said. Plus you’ve got kids sleeping with goats and Gypsies.
Luckily, Tom and Don were outnumbered. So it's back to Spain and the goats!
The board was feeling pressure to deal with the Accreds’ nasty old recommendations: all that stuff about board micromanagement and all.
Pressure? Fuentes got pissed. "We don't need no stinkin' pressure," he seemed to say. So a discussion of the recommendations was put off, not for the last time, despite the urgings of the Academic Senates.
Fuentes blathered about the ALA and its love of pornography. Creepy, man.
MARCH
In March, we reported on that month’s board meeting, which was a doozy! Some highlights:
• ILLIGITIMATE PROCESS. During public comments, IVC Academic Senate Prez Wendy noted that the district planning process (imposed by Chancellor Mathur) was illegitimate, given that it was developed without Academic Senate input. Hence the Academic Senate was forced to pursue a “minimum conditions” complaint with the State Chancellor’s Office.
• BOARD RESOLUTION? On this night, Mathur recommended the board’s adopting a (already-written) resolution re-committing it to addressing (i.e., taking seriously!) the Accreds’ recommendations (namely, ceasing micromanaging, dealing with despair, etc.).
• But the GREAT OBSTRUCTIONIST—Trustee Fuentes—objected to the resolution’s wording, complaining that it made no mention of the really real problem in the district, namely, the “macromanagement” of “others.” (Fuentes embraces some sort of WACKED OUT conspiracy theory according to which faculty control the Accreds plus they—or Wendy—seek to control or to run the district. I wonder who he thinks killed JFK? The ALA?)
• YEAH, BUT Trustee Milchiker expressed puzzlement, for, as she noted, the Accreds made no mention of “macromanagement” by anyone!
• IMAGINARY CRAP. No matter. The board modified the resolution as per Fuentes’ request, adding the imaginary crap about “macromanagement.” Absurdity ensued.
• A MEMORABLE MATHURIAN SPEECH. Chancellor Mathur insisted on making a speech, an obvious effort to seem “leaderly.” In it, he blamed certain “faculty leaders” for bad press and harm done to the district’s reputation. He asserted that the board was getting a bad rap (presumably from the Accreds) about micromanagement; that was really the sin of an earlier board, he said. (I’m not making this sh*t up.) Further, Mathur seemed to blame any trustee micromanagement on others (aka faculty). Those others, he said, should stop “inviting” board micromanagement. The room was bathed in red from the terrible glow of feminist fury.
• TEAT. At this meeting, the board discussed a report, requested earlier by Trustee Padberg, concerning trustee travel expenses. Reading between the lines, its findings were evidently embarrassing especially for trustee John Williams, a notorious beneficiary of the public teat. Padberg, looking slyly towards Williams, requested that the report now be expanded to include the last “five years.” Williams, Fuentes, Wagner, and Lang voted that down. Now why would they do that?
Well, I'm sure i just don't know!
• DUCKS BRIEFLY NOT IN ROW. The American Library Association was back on the agenda. There was an opportunity to reinstate it among institutional memberships. At the crucial moment, however, Padberg was called away on a matter concerning her run for judge. The reinstatement failed, 3/3.
DtB did a search of news articles over the previous three years. As Mathur suggested, the district’s reputation had indeed suffered owing to bad press. Horribly so! But, in truth, virtually all of the bad press was caused by the actions of Trustee Fuentes (his peculiar reasoning re the “study abroad” trip to Spain) and Trustee Wagner (his innovation of excluding the “liberal busybody” American Library Association from the list of institutional memberships).
So, Chancellor Raghu P. Mathur, "faculty leaders" had nothing to do with our shitty reputation, did they? Now, tell the truth!
APRIL
April 2
DtB described the content of the aforementioned report on trustee travel expenses. Among the report's highlights: during 2005, the "fiscally conservative" Mr. John Williams spent over $10,000 on trips, including two to Orlando, FL (likely at the Peabody Orlando—very pricey). Most trustees spent 2k or less. So I figure you owe the public 8 grand for that year alone, Junket Boy.
April 5
Glenn held a pizza party in A200. People even showed up for it. On the walls were signs saying, "Happy retirement Tom Delay!" We sensed the glacial deceleration, then stop, of the great Pendulum.
April 7
Rebel Girl poked her finger through the ceiling of one of the hideous, stinking temporaries. Ants emerged from the hole. We took pics. We made posters.
April 19
Jonathan carped about the inexplicable failure of librarians to stand up and fight the board’s American Library Association action. Where the hell were they?
Chunk had a simple suggestion: henceforth, the library should be known as the LIBARY. But of course!
April 22
Chunk and friends visited a famous local Polish utopian farm experiment plus monkey berry trees. Lots of pics.
April 23
Pressure from the Accreds continued. “Just what are you people doing about your trustee micromanagement? Your despair? Stupidity? Corruption? YOUR EVIL?
So, naturally, there was a 2nd “Technical Assistance” (T&A) meeting. It was MCed by a manifestly pessimistic Ian Walton (for faculty), a plainly discombobulated Dianne Woodruff (for board/Chance), and a palpably chirpy BIG BEANO (aka Babs Beano), representing the Accreds.
In truth, it was a snoozefest and a monument to the human capacity for unwitting RubeGoldbergian architectonic. Know what I mean?
But there was much verbiage. Somebody brought a huge pile of “ideas” unified by a extra large paperclip. Several persons noticed the smell of sulphur.
Trustee Fuentes said he was there to speak for the poor taxpayer. Members of the audience—classified & faculty—immediately responded by saying aloud, in unison “I’m a taxpayer.” Fuentes hissed and spit. The audience smiled hideously.
Babs craned her neck and seemed to say, “Gee, things are great. And I really like this building!”
It was HELL, I tell you.
MAY
May 3
In Santa Ana, over 10,000 gathered in the Plaza of the Flags to celebrate May Day, and Rebel Girl was there!
May 7
DtB reported on the Chancellor Mathur’s visit with the School of Humanities and Languages at IVC. Five faculty showed up, including the Reb, who got in the Chancellor’s face over the unavailability of reassigned time for academic chairs.
May 11
Nancy Padberg runs for Judge and she’s endorsed by an impressive group of prominent Republicans. Could it be, though, that she’s run afoul of the Schroeder “mafia”? All of her fellow trustees have endorsed her—except for one.
May 13
Amid a shower of praise from the Chancellor for its “excellence,” the Lariat alleged steroid use among student athletes at the two colleges. DtB was skeptical of the Lariat’s journalism in this instance.
Clockwork Orange picked up our story (namely, “Premature congratulation”) and, soon, the sh*t hit the fan. Athletics faculty at IVC were hoppin’ mad.
May 17
Rebel Girl reported that “the IVC Lasers are the 2006 California Community College Commission on Athletics Competitive Yoga Champions.” Wink wink.
May 19
DtB scholars have been at work on the SOCCCD “Lexicon Project.” Among the project’s entries:
• “To Beno” – as in “The faculty were totally Benoed by ACCJC.”Also, the Academic Senate presidents met with a highly peeved Chancellor regarding his new planning process. Title 5 and district bylaws say that the faculty (faculty senates) should be relied upon primarily in developing planning process(es). Nevertheless, Raghu unilaterally developed his own process and then showed it to everybody like it was a done deal. Then faculty told leadership that, if Mathur doesn’t back off, they’ll want to pursue a “minimum conditions complaint” with the State Chancellor’s Office.
Shockingly to be abandoned by a presumed guardian or watchdog….
• “Going to Orlando” – as in “Is that rat bastard goin’ to Orlando again? Doesn't he have a job or something?”
"Going to Orlando" is junketing or otherwise contriving to receive perks in a manner that is of dubious value to the taxpayer, who pays for it.
Mathur did not back off. The senates pressed the point. Mathur was angry.
May 20
We observed the IVC Commencement Ceremony. Fuentes prayed, inspiring laughter when he thanked the Lord for “the taxpayers.” A gal there explained that she once danced with the Ziegfeld Follies. The fish taco guy spoke. There was a student speaker; he seemed utterly unprepared, or worse. (The Reb was pretty peeved about that.)
“The earth is flat,” said the Chancellor.
May 22
The Lariat retracted its earlier published claim that coaches knew about steroid use among student athletes. The paper had been “misled” by “sources,” and it erred by not seeking the coaches’ side of the story, it said.
Yet another Fuentes crony—Chriss Street, who is running for Treasurer—seemed to be in ethical trouble. Yet another one? What difference does it make? (Meanwhile, rumors flew that Dave Lang coveted the Treasurer position and was hoodwinked into thinking that Fuentes and his pals would come through for him.)
May 23
Trustee Tom Fuentes was appointed to the Elections Assistance Commission (EAC) advisory board (Dennis Hastert had nominated him). The EAC was created after the scandalous 2000 national election to assist in insuring smooth and clean elections. It has seemed more interested in promoting electronic voting.
At the May board meeting, IVC Academic Senate Prez Wendy G attempted to explain the faculty’s issue with the Chancellor’s district planning process. Dave Lang seems incapable of understanding the point.
May 30
DtB researched trustee Don Wagner’s rhetoric. Among the highlights: Don’s fulminations re the “liberal agenda,” the laws that protect “cross-dressers” or that “harass the Boy Scouts.” Then there’s Don’s desire to “greatly expand the right of law abiding citizens to carry weapons” and Don’s advocacy of spanking: “Corporal punishment in the lower grades works,” he once said.
JUNE
June 1
We reported on a NY Times story about the Feds’ abuse of the Patriot Act: “Four Librarians Finally Break Silence in Records Case.” During his ALA action, Trustee Wagner had suggested that the Patriot Act has proved unproblematic. The ALA had predicted government abuse.
June 7
Thanks to the hard-ball tactics and connivery of Michael Schroeder, the IVC Foundation’s “Hometown Hero,” County Sheriff Mike Carona, squeaked out an election victory against challenger Bill Hunt. The latter, a Republican, was immediately sidelined and ultimately demoted within the Sheriff’s Department. The moral: don’t screw with the “Republican mafia.”
Nancy Padberg comes in third for Judge (but not by much).
June 23
At the board meeting, trustees considered the proposed district “mission statement”:
Our mission is to facilitate opportunities for learning, cultural enrichment and social experiences to foster student success and contribute to a diverse community.Trustee Tom Fuentes didn’t like the way the word “diversity” was used. Efforts to appease him failed. The matter was tabled.
During a grim discussion of the budget, VC Gary Poertner noted IVC’s “budget hole of $1.5 million.” Fuentes and others pressed for return to the rule that “basic aid” money not be used for ongoing expenses, but Poertner seemed to argue for a more gradual return to that principle.
June 27
The state budget was passed by lawmakers and would likely be signed by the governor. Among its provisions: a cut in community college fees from $26 per credit to $20 per credit.
