I spoke with Rebel Girl today, over the phone. I asked, "What's up at our little college?" "Not much," she said. "Well," she added, "we're being invaded by ants. I can't even eat my lunch here in the office, 'cause it attracts them." Evidently, there's talk in the hallways about a possible rift in the terrestrial biomass, or something, caused by today's oppressive heat (plus "reverse seepage" from Irvine's notorious toxic aquifers). According to our biologists, it's only a matter of time before larger "toxic" ants attack and even kidnap students. "As if we didn't have enough problems," they said. |
IVC police are now off parking patrol. They're now totally focused on the growing ant menace. |
Artist's conception: evidently, there's a real possibility of a kind of "super invasion" in places on campus that are "shiny, sterile, bright, and totally unused." |