1. NO TALKING WITH YOUR NEIGHBOR! Remember in grade school, when you talked to your “neighbor” while the teacher was speaking? I remember it as though it were yesterday...
Suddenly, Teacher points an accusing finger at you and says, “Mr. Wheeler, perhaps you’d like to share that with the rest of the class!”
Well, there was just such a moment during Monday’s board meeting. It occurred only minutes after three faculty had presented their objections to prayers and invocations at district and college events. Some of the same faculty were whispering to “their neighbor” at the Board Meeting Ghetto, namely, that stupid table that stretches across the floor below the trustees' Edifice of Power & Patriotism.
Suddenly, in the middle of a Mathurian pontification, trustee Fuentes interrupts to say, “Excuse me, point of order” (or some such thing). He directs has gaze at the Ghetto, and in particular at its benighted faculty district. Certain persons, he declares, “are carrying on separate conversations!” I’m sure, he continues, that those same persons wouldn’t “appreciate that same behavior in their classroom!”
There’s silence. Fuentes is dead serious. Margot and the other naughty little girls just stare back at Fuentes, mouths agape.
I am about to burst out laughing. (I don't.)
2. "CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT" DEVELOPMENT. Among the “consent calendar” items of Monday’s board meeting was 4.10: “Mission statements.” Evidently, Saddleback College's mission statement mentions “character development.” Trustee Wagner asked for clarification regarding how the college pursues that. Padberg sought to table the item, thus permitting reflection and debate, I suppose. One wonders what that’s all about. Obviously, our brethren (and sistren) on the religious right are all in favor of character development, as long as it concerns virtues that are more or less traditional—none of this New Agey stuff about “self-esteem” or “bliss-finding” or, say, “tolerance.” So maybe we’ll hear more about this in future.
3. LOUD PIANO PRICES. Item 4.20 was approval of hiring of vendors who would supply “musical instruments for the Performing Arts Center” at IVC. The amount: $415,236.32.
Evidently, the item was misdescribed to some extent. Some of the money will purchase, not musical instruments, but food. (Peanuts? Hot dogs? Beer?)
Still, about $250,000 was slated for pianos.
Padberg didn’t like the sound of that. It turns out that the Quarter Mill was for three pianos costing $100K, $100K, and $50K. That was OK with all trustees except Padberg. “Too expensive,” she said, I think.
That reminded me of the time I joined my then-wife’s family for dinner at the fanciest restaurant in Lewistown, Montana (a hick town). The whole famdamily was there, and the bill came to something just over 100 dollars. (This was about 25 years ago.)
It was grandma’s treat! Nice lady, very old.
I watched her leave the tip.
It was one dollar.
4. NOW ON THE ROAD TO DRUNKENNESS AND DISSIPATION. Item 5.4 concerned revisions to three board policies, including 1900: “Alcoholic beverages.”
As things stand, the policy forbids alcohol on either of the campuses. It requires that people be served Ovaltine instead.
The IVC Foundation has complained that the “Ovaltine rule” hampers fundraising. “Some people dislike the taste of Ovaltine,” said Glenn (well, no).
In truth, the current policy forbids the serving of alcohol anywhere on the campuses for any reason. The revision would allow alcohol for Foundation fundraising events.
Trustee Williams had a problem with the proposed change. He blathered about “wine tasting” courses up in the California wine country. He envisioned drunken contributors driving away from campus and getting into nasty wrecks. If that happens, we’ll be the “deep pockets,” he said.
Turns out, we’re the deep pockets even when events are held off campus. Plus, said Wagner, “that’s what insurance is for.”
In the end, the trustees approved the change.
Wendy & Glenn at last week's Commencement5. CAN WE GET A PLACE TO TEACH 1ST? Item 5.5 concerned the district’s “5-year construction plan.” As you know, some trustees, especially Mr. Jay and Mr. Williams, advocate the building of fancy new stadiums ASAP.
At one point in the discussion (of our construction priorities), IVC’s Academic Senate Prez, Wendy G, said that a new stadium (at IVC) would be “wonderful,” but she is involved, she said, in the college’s strategic planning process, and it is clear that classroom and lab space is desperately needed.
“We need a place to teach our students,” she declared.
So as not to piss off her PE colleagues, she made an effort, though, to acknowledge the hypothetical wonderfulness of a new stadium, should one be built. "Wonderful. Really wonderful."
6. MISERLY BUBBLE POPPED. Item 6.1 concerned the thorny issue of the “cost of employee benefits and the ratio of administrators, classified staff, and full time/part time faculty.” Deputy Chancellor Gary Poertner explained that, though we tend to think that our district is exceptional in expending 88% of funds on salaries/benefits, as it turns out, that percentage is "in the middle" compared to other districts statewide. We looked at charts that made this very clear.
The upshot: re salaries, etc., we spend money just as other districts do.
7. OUR WENDY INSPIRES NEW AWARD. As you have probably already heard, IVC’s Wendy Gabriella will be the recipient of the State Senate's first “Faculty Freedom Fighters” Award, an award that she in fact inspired:
Wendy Gabriella, beyond our pride in selecting you as the first recipient of this award we want you to know that you are the inspiration for its creation. In that spirit and in our desire to motivate future generations of Faculty Freedom Fighters, we would like to honor you during the Academic Senate’s Leadership Institute, June 14-16, 2007 at the Hayes Mansion Hotel in San Jose. There will be a dinner in your honor on the evening of June 15, and the presentation of the first Faculty Freedom Fighters Award will occur there in the company of your admiring and grateful colleagues…. (Letter from Ian Walton, President, the Academic Senate for California Community Colleges)
