Report from Idaho: Guns on Campus

In today's New York Times, Boise State professor of biology and criminal justice Greg Hampikian pens a letter to the Idaho State Legislature about pending legislation which would permit guns on the the state's college and university campuses.  The bill faces likely approval.

When May I Shoot a Student?

TO the chief counsel of the Idaho State Legislature:

In light of the bill permitting guns on our state’s college and university campuses, which is likely to be approved by the state House of Representatives in the coming days, I have a matter of practical concern that I hope you can help with: When may I shoot a student?

I am a biology professor, not a lawyer, and I had never considered bringing a gun to work until now. But since many of my students are likely to be armed, I thought it would be a good idea to even the playing field.

I have had encounters with disgruntled students over the years, some of whom seemed quite upset, but I always assumed that when they reached into their backpacks they were going for a pencil. Since I carry a pen to lecture, I did not feel outgunned; and because there are no working sharpeners in the lecture hall, the most they could get off is a single point. But now that we’ll all be packing heat, I would like legal instruction in the rules of classroom engagement.

At present, the harshest penalty available here at Boise State is expulsion, used only for the most heinous crimes, like cheating on Scantron exams. But now that lethal force is an option, I need to know which infractions may be treated as de facto capital crimes.

I assume that if a student shoots first, I am allowed to empty my clip; but given the velocity of firearms, and my aging reflexes, I’d like to be proactive. For example, if I am working out a long equation on the board and several students try to correct me using their laser sights, am I allowed to fire a warning shot?

If two armed students are arguing over who should be served next at the coffee bar and I sense escalating hostility, should I aim for the legs and remind them of the campus Shared-Values Statement (which reads, in part, “Boise State strives to provide a culture of civility and success where all feel safe and free from discrimination, harassment, threats or intimidation”)?

While our city police chief has expressed grave concerns about allowing guns on campus, I would point out that he already has one. I’m glad that you were not intimidated by him, and did not allow him to speak at the public hearing on the bill (though I really enjoyed the 40 minutes you gave to the National Rifle Association spokesman).

Knee-jerk reactions from law enforcement officials and university presidents are best set aside. Ignore, for example, the lame argument that some drunken frat boys will fire their weapons in violation of best practices. This view is based on stereotypical depictions of drunken frat boys, a group whose dignity no one seems willing to defend....

To read the rest - and you should - click here. 

Is Wendy Gabriella’s loutish and callow opponent, Jesse Petrilla, up sh*t creek?

10 shots at vehicles. "I
was just a...dumb kid."

     A month ago, one of the local Patch publications reported that 73rd Assembly candidate Jesse Petrilla, a Republican, had once been convicted of a felony involving a gun. Oddly, the OC Register has been quiet about the whole thing.
     Until today:

Does a criminal conviction matter in an election? (OC Reg) Rancho Santa Margarita Councilman Jesse Petrilla was convicted of assault with a firearm when he was 17.

     Republican Assembly candidate Jesse Petrilla, who is running to replace Diane Harkey in the 73rd District in November, said voters should not judge him based on his conviction as a minor on two felony counts of assault with a firearm.
     In 2001, authorities accused Petrilla of shooting a 22-caliber rifle at a group of people who had gathered for a fight. Although he was 17 years old at the time, Petrilla was charged as an adult because of seriousness of the accusations.
     “I regret the incident,” Petrilla, 30, now a Rancho Santa Margarita councilman, said. “There were a lot of things that I could have done to get out of it before it escalated to that point, but I was just a young, dumb kid.”
. . .
     Petrilla fired as many as 10 shots before people fled and contacted authorities, according to the news report. The shots didn’t hit anyone, but struck vehicles. One person heard a bullet whiz overhead, according to the report.
. . .

Other Repub: Bryson favors
teachers and other employees
bringing guns to school

     Petrilla was charged with 12 felony counts, including assault with a firearm, shooting at an occupied vehicle, dissuading a witness from testifying and discharge of a firearm with gross negligence, according to a criminal complaint. He also was charged with a misdemeanor count of drawing and exhibiting a firearm and another misdemeanor count of exhibiting a deadly weapon.
     Prosecutors offered a plea deal to drop all but two felony counts of assault with a firearm, which Petrilla accepted on Aug. 10, 2001, according to court documents.
     Petrilla pleaded no contest to the two felony counts and admitted to a gun use enhancement allegation. He was sentenced to 240 days in jail and five years of probation.
     Petrilla had spent 159 days in custody to that point. He was credited with time served and released.
. . .
     The court ended his probation after three years. Petrilla emphasized that his felony conviction was later reduced to misdemeanors and his record was expunged in 2006.
. . .
     Fredric D. Woocher, an election law attorney at Strumwasser & Woocher LLP in Los Angeles, said no laws compel Petrilla to disclose to voters his conviction in city or state elections.
     The expungement allows Petrilla to answer on many job applications that he hasn’t been convicted. However, it doesn’t relieve him of the obligation to disclose the conviction “in response to any direct question contained in any questionnaire or application for public offices,” according to his court order.
     In Rancho Santa Margarita City Council elections, candidates are asked if they are qualified to hold office, but not if they have a conviction, City Clerk Molly McLaughlin said.
. . .
     Thad Kousser, associate professor of political science at UC San Diego, said Petrilla’s conviction clouds his candidacy for the Assembly race but doesn’t doom it, especially because the conviction happened when he was a juvenile.
. . .
     But two things could hurt Petrilla, Kousser said.
     First, voters received news of the conviction from a source other than Petrilla – a local online-only news site published an article about the conviction in January. That, Kousser said, could raise questions about Petrilla’s honesty.
     Second, the information came out before the June 3 primary rather than between the primary and the November general election. For the primary, Republican voters who are considering voting for Petrilla can change their mind and choose from other Republican candidates.
     If the information had come out after the primary and Petrilla were to win it, there’s a chance he would face a Democratic candidate in the general election, and Republican voters might decide they would have no choice but to vote for him, Kousser said.
     The other Republican candidates in the Assembly race are Capistrano Unified School District trustee Anna Bryson, Dana Point Councilman Bill Brough and former Laguna Niguel Mayor Paul Glaab. Wendy Gabriella, a constitutional lawyer and anthropology professor at Irvine Valley College, is the only Democrat in the race….

The February meeting of the SOCCCD Board of Trustees: Saddlebackians want a new stadium and it's all that matters!

     [Please see Tere's Board Meeting Highlights].
     It's 5:59 p.m., and it looks like the board is about to boardize. Stay tuned.
     No boardifications just yet. Everybody's here but Marcia Milchiker.
     It begins! (Just after 6:00.)
     Actions taken in closed session: Nancy reads: 6/0 vote, approved 3 mo leave of absence; 6/0 vote, board approved recommendation to transfer manager from one college to another, I think; 6/0 vote approved non-renewal of 2 probationary faculty members (one per college); 6/0 denied appeal of administration termination based on discrimination.
     No recognitions tonight. Slow month, I guess.
     Public comments: three requests.

Glenn

     Jim Petkin(?): been at SC since 1968. Watched Saint Ronald turn over the dirt. 5-year construction program for the stadium. (He seems to be referring to agenda item 6.5: new 5-year construction list. See below.) Thanks for putting the stadium on the list. It's now #15 or so, so pleased. "I'm talkin' about what SC has done for me" and many other players. Brought us farther into our lives. I have long supported SC football and other programs. Wanted to let you know, this vision brought by first administrators—it will be continued...that field is a perfect location to help So Cal to produce additional income for this college, etc.
     Charles Wright(?): class of '95. We're very excited, appreciative for your elevating this potential project. The stadium. Magnitude of importance.... The community benefits. A great opportunity to generate revenue. Will serve the community. I'm an alum. Tells his history: briefly pro-ball, got masters at Stanford, blah, blah, blah. Goes back to stadium. Will benefit, a tremendous opportunity. (Why do these guy all seem to have swallowed the same lexicon?)
     Jan Duquette: Kinesiology chair? What Jim said. There've been many master plans, many changes. Our athletic stadium has remained the same. Been here 35 years. We've had national championships, but same stadium. "Heartbreaking." "We're still having to deal with" this old stadium. Bad for recruitment. Blah, blah, blah. Oughta have an adequate facility.

Board Reports:

     Bill Jay: backs up what Jan and the two gentlemen said. It's time to get a new stadium. Looks like we'll finally get it.
     Tim Jemal: I too support a stadium. Hope it comes to fruition during my tenure. Sorry that Marcia's not here tonight. Her husband is "a little ill." We miss her. On my mind: the for-profit colleges and universities. I try to keep in mind, we are doing our part to ensure that current and prospective students know the value of our community colleges. Don't want to contribute to path of debt for students. This issue has gotten some national attention. It's a concern, on my mind. We're paying attention to it. [Good Lord, it's about time. We've been talking about it here at DtB for YEARS.]
     Nancy Padberg: reiterates our getting a stadium. "I'm a big athletic supporter." (No one laughs.) Students have a way to engage with each other (while they're wearing athletic supporters?). Blah, blah, blah. We are one of the only CC districts in county that does not have a decent football stadium. It's really time; we have to get off the dime. I'm sure we can. Attended Freedom Foundation Aware luncheon. Student honored. Eagle Scout project. (Yeah, I did one of those.)

     TJ Prendergast: school board dinner. Presenter from Gallup polling. One finding: 2 main factors for success: "someone who cared about you" and "hope." Hope?
     James Wright: attended IVC homecoming basketball game. IVC vs. Santa Ana College. IVC has a good basketball record.... Also attended the dinner. Brandon (something) was the Gallup guy. Hope is a stronger predictor of success than GPA, etc. Teachers demonstrating caring is important. Congrats both colleges: US Dept of Energy: Solar Decathlon. Team Orange. We'll hear more about this. Accreds gave us a pass. "Wonderful." Last: spent a day and a half at a hospital; two of the three nurses were from Saddleback. They recognized me, said chirpy things about SC training.
     Dave Lang: very much interested in the item concerning capital improvement projects. I want all of them done. Want to hear more about the football stadium, the foundation's goals, etc. Shout out to Irvine Unified SD, recent achievements. Ranked so highly in "excellence in ed" awards. These schools make Irvine one of the most attractive places to live in the goshdarned country.
     David Robinson, student trustee: Emeritus Institute lectures, blah blah blah. Support and echo comments about facility improvements.
     Chancellor Gary Poertner: Item 6.16 - granting tenure to 22 probationary faculty. We'll move this up to be the first on agenda. We want to recognize them. I want to congratulate these faculty. District software development team, blah blah blah.
     The room is pretty full. Could these be the 22 faculty and supporters?
     (For IVC:) Craig Justice filling in for Glenn Roquemore: blah blah blah. Speech and debate team has won Point Loma tournament. 13 students took awards. One student won a $3k scholarship. Team ranked 3rd in conference.
     For Saddleback College: Tod Burnett mentions some things already noted. Decathlon, etc. other exciting things: Ashley Wagner, Olympic skater from Saddleback. (U.S. team captured the Bronze.) A great year in basketball for our teams. Kickoff luncheon: social entrepreneurship. [Social entrepreneurship?] Blah blah blah.
     Kid went through list of activities on behalf of ASIVC. The kid's sneakers glowed green. Really.
 

Look! It's another SOCCCD "completion agenda" presentation!

Next: advanced 6.16 - newly tenured faculty:
     Burnett: Faculty: full tenure status. Introduces each of them (at SC). He goes through the names. Big yells, applause. WTF? It's not unlike a sports event: foolishness prevails. This continues with each name called. I don't recall this much hoopla in the past. Good grief. They all line up against the wall. Photo op. Confusion. Stupidity. Ridiculousness. Snap. Over. --No, one more round of applause as everyone walks back to their seats. Hail the conquering heroes.
     Now that they got their recognition, half of the room walks out. Some board members suggest it might be nice (i.e., polite) if they stuck around for the actual vote--and for the reading of IVC's tenured faculty. But no. The crowd continues its joyful egress.
     Craig Justice comes up to read names of IVC faculty. The three not here tonight are in class. Others come up. More applause, though pretty thin. OK though. Craig mentions Jeff's baby girl. Photo op. Much less confusion. Click. That's it. At least they didn't get ribbons and shit.

Newly tenured IVC faculty

Newly tenured SC faculty

Item 4.1: SC: a new vision for student success at SC
     (Prendergast briefly mentions a requested report. Then they move on to "vision" stuff.)
     Burnett: we make lots of presentations here at the district. But really proud of this one. It's about student success. Not new to us, no sir. Completion agenda is national, state and local priority. Always a recommendation: need to have an entire college-wide effort. We all play a role. Starts with faculty, but all the other segments, blah blah blah. Now SC's turn: what we're doing for student success. Introduces three people: Bruce Gilman, Patty Skaff?, Shay Sharp?  Gilman comes up: change is afoot. Under the name of student success. He reminds us of events leading up to this. Pathways to Success. Blah, blah, blah. Fall 2012: something happened, SB1456 maybe. Blah blah blah. (This goes on, usual thing. I'm tuning out, checking my email.)
     ...We need to rethink everything...Shows a slide of "student success." What a lot of hooey.
     Bright and perky and blonde is next. Pretty damned chirpy. Shows organizational chart of student success. More utter hooey. Big smiles. "Pretty exciting" that we've got this huge group on the case. (Um, no.)

     [I dream of a world without endless piles of horseshit dotting the landscape, blocking my view. I especially dream of a world without the endless, mindless saluting of said horseshit. "Yes sir, right away sir!" This gal sounds like a cheerleader. She doesn't seem to be saying anything. Things will be developed. Success will be pursued. Completion too. Pedagogy, man. --Um, I routinely get nearly whole rooms of students just blowing off assignments. If you ask them to read a chapter of a book between classes, they groan; then they blow it off. Why don't we address that? But no. Their standards are lower than a barefoot snake. What about that? Half my students seem unable to write a coherent sentence. Anybody gonna bring that up? OF COURSE NOT.... Save me from horseshit. --The chirpy gal is still chirping. Gosh she's enthusiastic, pleased as punch. Probably a great person, but please. She holds up a shirt that says, "Ask me!" How cute. How pleasant and nice. What horseshit. C'mon. What about SLOs? They're a collosal waste of time and money. The chirp persists. She turns the whole shebang over to young Ms. Sharp, the student. She says she's also in student government. Seems like a great kid. She reports on a survey of student opinion about all this shit: what does it mean to be a successful student? She lists the predictably ridiculous student answers: "it's when you succeed a lot." They also asked students what role faculty should have. (Why do they bother with this?) "They should be role models," said one kid. "They determine my mood" said another. "They make the world of a difference," said another. Isn't that ungrammatical? WTF? How can faculty improve their connection with students? Answer: "Engage with students more." --Is anyone ever gonna talk about what STUDENTS could/should do? Hell no. And everybody with half a brain knows that's where the problem is, if it's anywhere. We encourage them to think they can have a social life, a job, and take six classes. NO WAY. --OK, I'm seriously thinking of just going home. --The gal is done. Gilman comes up and mentions the "RP group" and their research. (I've looked into the RP people; worthless shite. People with Ed.D. degrees should be banned from all colleges and universities.*) Now he's blathering about "tranformative change." Is this a TV show? Will he be offering valuable cash prizes? Any questions? Surely someone wants to poke at this pile of horseshit, knock it over. But no: Wright declares that it was a "wonderful" presentation. Don't think so, Old Dude. They start blathering about the ABOT program. "It's just wonderful." Not likely.

2007

     Jemal: how does this new vision relate to counseling? More chirps. "We are leading the state, guys!" We're implementing all the new mandates. "No one can touch us." SHERPA, etc. Lots of noise, little substance. --OK, I'm tuning out again. She continues... This will take lots of counselors....Why, of course it will! They're so very valuable!
     Robinson: refers to student survey. Mentions a buzzword: mentorship. (F*ck me.) Is concerned that students be involved on these committees addressing completion and so on. Chirpy answers. Gilman comes up and speaks forcefully about the definition of success that they came up with. (It's pure blarney.) Good Lord it was important to get that defined! (You've got to be kidding.) I think this guy is serious. Yes, students must be at the center of the effort. (You mean on these committees? Why?) More committees, more students, more shirts, more blather! Behold the spectacle!
     Padberg: it's really rewarding to see how enthused you all are. (Nancy, it's horseshit. They're enthused about horseshit.) How do we ensure that it will continue? Chirpy answers: there'll be updates. Two committees, right out of the chute. (So proud!) Then 8 workgroups! (Is she kidding? Is she f*cking with me?) Yeah, let's create more committees. Maybe we can produce another illiterate and clueless list of barriers," followed by the joyful emulation of suicidal rodents. Gilman now talks about a "silo mentality." "You can feel the spirit in the room, and the camaraderie." Applause.
     OK, I'm dying. I've had about all I can take.

Yes, athletics brings out the best in people

Consent calendar: 5.4 pulled.

5.4 Jemal pulled this item, ATEP development master planning services. Will this inhibit going forward with a collaborative partner who suddenly comes along? I understand the need for master planning. We do lots of planning for ATEP. I get it. But at some point we need to stop planning and start implementing.
     Um, YEAH!
     Fitzsimmons: partner inquiries will be processed as per usual if they come along. Jemal: If a firm comes along and wants to go forward quickly--do we have to wait? Fitz: blah, blah, blah. Reassuring blatherings. Passes.

General action items:

6.1 Energy Service Contract, IVC.  Fitz presents. Blah, blah, blah. Public hearing is opened. Public may speak. Natch, none. Closes public hearing. (It's democracy in action.) Discussion? Of course not.

6.2 - energy service agreement, IVC. They vote: unanimous.
6.3 - Air handling...  Unanimous vote.
6.4 - Marian Bergeson Award Nomination. Lang: nominates Marcia Milchiker. He says she's interested in, um, getting this award, I guess. Happy to nominate her. Unanimous.

6.5 - 5 year construction plan. Fitz asks Brandye to come up. Mentions priority of stadium--moved up to #15. #8: new baseball/restroom/concession stands at IVC. Fine Arts restoration went from 23 to 22. Quad landscape renovation, etc. --Unanimous. Prendergast "jokes" that the pool is missing from the list. (He's into swimming at his high school, I guess.) Lang: what's the thought process behind the reordering? Brandye: 5 year plan takes two lists, one per college (prioritized), and then there's the state chancellor's office....--identify how we want to fund projects in the future. Gateway Bldg. at SC. Fine Arts at IVC. Waiting for matching funding from state. Lang: that we downgrade a project: does that jeopardize state funding? B: No, we've been careful. We're very aware. Lang: I'm supportive of the football stadium. Much popular sentiment for that. Athletics is important. BUT it is very expensive. There was lots of Foundation support. Where does that stand? Burnett: Foundation did feasibility study. Frankly, our community is not ready to raise the necessary amount of money. $500k commitment by Foundation. But it's got a $10 mil price tag! Half a mil is chump change. So there's that. Burnett talks about complexities in pursuing building. Prioritization. Lang: asks about "occupy date." Three, four years, says Burnett. Not so long. Could be finished by 2017, even 2016. .... Lang: has this gone through shared governance? Supported by other groups? Burnett: it has gone through our college wide process. ... Wright notes that the money (for stadium) will have to come from basic aid. Wright worries: Science/Math building (renovation) way down on list. Brandye: yes, we're concerned. Jemal: Any other commitments, beyond Foundation's $500K? Burnett: yes and no. Two high schools rent our facility. We don't get as much high school usage because we have substandard facilities. If we have the facilities, we'll accrue more revenue. Robinson: Is the college open to naming rights; that sort of thing to defray costs? [This student trustee seems to be more or less on the ball, unlike some of his predecessors.] Burnett seems to like the idea of pursuing that. We certainly would entertain proposals for that. --Passes unanimously.

6.6 - Academic Calendar. Wright: problems with the Spring semester. Four fewer instruction days. Craig Justice: always short in Spring because of holidays. This calendar has the correct totals. Wright: but are more instructional days in Fall. Craig: that's an issue. Wright: was this considered? Craig: yes. Monday night classes: fifteen minutes added, etc. Wright has a bee in his bonnet. He keeps buzzing. Wright declares that this hasn't been a problem every year. SC Ac Senate Prez speaks up: yes, it is a problem. Hard to equalize days. We've tried to improve the situation. IVC Ac Senate Prez (Schmeidler): we had put this calendar to bed. Next year's calendar, we've tried many things. Tried to even out semester. Several years ago, holidays were not as much as a problem as now. We're certainly aware of the problems. --Unanimous approval.
6.7 - Board policies. Unanimous.
6.8 - Strata Info Group. Fitz addresses. The $500K isn't going to one person, no. Jemal asks a question.... Unanimous.
6.9 - Life Sciences, IVC. Lang: contract has more than doubled since original. Brandye: first contractor went bankrupt. Unanimous.
6.10 - IVC, ATEP swing space. Fitz: mentions substitution page. Revised rec. --Unanimous.
6.11 - SC, Tech & Applied Sciences Building Renovation. --Unanimous.
6.12 - Academic personnel actions. --Unanimous.
6.13 - Classified personnel actions. --Unanimous.
6.14 - 92 faculty. 1st year probationary faculty. Two year contracts. --Unanimous.
6.15 - 2nd year. --Unanimous.
6.16 -- we've done.
6.17 - Human resources management reorganization. Unanimous.

Reports:

7.1 - no comments
7.2 - no comments
7.3 - no comments
7.4 - no comments
7.5 - no comments
7.6 - no comments
7.7 - Lang: Retiree Trust Fund. Wants report. Lots of press recently, different entities have mangaged their resources. In the Register. UC Foundations. Important that our board understand how the investment committee works. Benchmarks, etc. Should have a discussion about this. Need to learn more. OK.

Reports from administrative and governance groups:

SC Ac. Senate Dan Walsh: blah blah blah
Faculty Association (union): blah blah blah.
IVC Ac. Senate: Echoes what Dan Walsh said about Decathlon. IVC has no plans to have a football stadium (laughter)--so there's  another benighted college. Mentions that we do well in what everyone else in the world calls "football" and we call soccer.
Peebles, et al.
I'm outa here. It's 7:45

*Please excuse my exaggeration. I do know decent and intelligent people with such degrees. Yes, of course. But they seem to prevail, as decent colleagues, despite their "training."

Glenn Roquemore's theme song?

     A former denizen of the district (and of Jellystone Park) sent this video, suggesting that it could be Glenn Roquemore's theme song.
     I dunno. I like it too much (and I don't like it that much).
     My choices for Roquemore theme song:

Friday by Rebecca Black
Muskrat Love by The Captain and Tenille
A Horse with no Name by America

M.A.N., lunch will be at 9:30 this morning

     Here's one for the annals, for those who care to know about the Bauers and their endless misadventures.
     On Saturdays, I try to make it for lunch at my folks. It's the one time during the week that I'm almost guaranteed to be there. Annie tries to make it, too, but her job's hours are irregular, and I figure she makes it to Saturday lunch about half the time these days.
     A year or so ago, my dad moved lunchtime to 12:30 to help my mom, who had become increasingly anxious about preparing the meal, starting it earlier and earlier in the morning. (You have no idea.) The new time gave her an extra half hour to dither and fret.
     Why was (is) she anxious? I don't know. Manifest Absurd Neurosis (MAN) has been her fate these last several years. It doesn't help that, to a great degree, my dad joins in her neuroses. Sometimes, he creates mom's worries whilst simultaneously denouncing or fetting over them. "Dietsche, Dietsche," he'll say. "Why can't you please sit down and relax?" She finally sits. Then, immediately, he'll ask where the coffee is. "Oh," says mom, who immediately launches herself in the direction of the kitchen, a busy bee, buzzing.
     I just stare in silence.
     Mom regularly makes enough food for ten people even though, most days, only two (she and dad) are likely to show. Naturally, we've all attempted to address this (especially my dad, who can be a tightwad). But it's no use. She just won't stop. Quite literally, she won't be reasoned with. (Some days, however, lunch is distinctly sparse. I'll say to myself, "Gosh, I could use some toast or something." Then, after the meal, I'll notice all the once-toasty toast in the four-banger toaster that somehow never made it to the table. Dang!)
     And why does she start breakfast so early? I've got a theory: I think she needs to fret. That might not hit the nail square on the head, but it's pretty close. "What will I do if I'm not fretting and dithering and looking serious intense all morning? How will I survive the morning unless I'm running and running as though from a grizzly bear or a cloud of locusts?"
     (Because she starts lunch—making toast, pancakes, etc.—at about 9:30 a.m., by the time 12:30 p.m. rolls around, the food is often quite cold. My folks don't seem to notice. They just chew on that stuff like everything is just fine and dandy. I study their faces. Nothin'.)
     Now, in truth, most of us in the Bauer clan (Clan of the Howling Wolf), even Annie, prefer simple meals: soup, sandwiches, stuff just tossed together. Bread with camembert or brie? Wonderful! Nice big salad with a little shrimp or cheese or avacado thrown in? Great!
     But in my mom's mind, I guess, a meal isn't a meal unless it involves considerable preparation—and the lengthy torture of food via hotplate or oven. There's got to be something hot and heavy and fried and grossly overcooked and cheese-encrusted or it really just won't do!
     It's partly a generational thing. Now, in my mind, vegetables are best that are cooked least. But to my folks and their aged crew, I guess, it's all about grease and lard and goo.

* * *

     —So, anyway, I was at my place working on something this morning—it was 9:20 a.m.—when the phone rang. It was my dad.
     "Would you mind if we moved lunch to right now?"
     "Lunch right now?"
     "Yeah, Ma is very concerned about the memorial service later today. So I thought I'd give her a break by getting lunch out of the way early."
     "Right now?"
     "Yeah. Can you come down right now?"
     I knew better than to ask questions or complain. I just said, "Yup," and that was that.
     When I got down there, Ma was fretting and zooming like she does. She muttered some half-sentences about how my dad got everything fouled up again. (He was still outside somewhere.) "But it's not too bad," she added. "Oh good," I said.
     I had no idea what she was talking about.
    After about ten minutes, my dad showed up and then mom revealed the main dish, a rather large pan of ravioli in a buttery sauce. (Ah, yes. Perfect for my diabetes.) It was accompanied by a bowl of small shrimp.
     In truth, the ravioli was great. Naturally, there was much too much of it. My sister never showed, so, between the three of us, we ate about a third of it. I have no idea what happens to all this stuff. I think they squirrel it away somewhere.
     I tried the shrimp. It was frozen. Literally. Later, I watched my dad eat it. He didn't seem to notice that he was eating icy little custaceans. I heard the crunch.
     Then out came the pizza bread (huh?), which had been microwaved. Naturally, it had been in the oven much too long. Half of it was like cardboard.
     I didn't' seem to have much to say. The two of them were talking about today's memorial service for a friend from the old neighborhood. Eunice. For some reason, my folks seem really to care about these crazy old rednecks from that place, where we lived, so long ago.
     I've been trying to forget them for forty or fifty years.
     "Gunter, do you think we'll get there in time?" asked mom.
     The memorial service was to be in a church near Olive hill. That's in Orange, a little over a half hour away.
     "As long as we leave an hour and forty minutes before 2:00, we should be OK," he said.
     "Are you walking?" I asked. They chuckled.
     We sipped coffee. I tried to think of something to say. I said a couple of things, I guess.
     It was ten o'clock. I had had my "lunch." I was outa there.

Noted subhuman mongrel, Ted Nugent, apologizes for calling Obama a “subhuman mongrel” (Huffington Post)

"I do apologize – not necessarily to the President – but on behalf of much better men than myself," Nugent said, calling the comments "streetfighter terminology."

Young Theodore, playing this morning

Heads up: Monday's meeting of the SOCCCD BOT

Nurses?

As usual (actually, a day later than usual) Chancellor Gary Poertner has provided a link to the agenda for Monday's board meeting: here.

     This appears on the agenda for the closed session (at 5:00 p.m.):

     For the subsequent open session, starting at 6:00 p.m.:

4.0 Discussion items:

4.1 Saddleback College: A New Vision for Student Success at Saddleback College

     Representatives from Saddleback College will make a presentation on the development of a college wide student success committee and the implementation of student success work groups.

7.0 Reports:

7.2. SOCCCD: Annual Report on Third Year Probationary Faculty Continuation of Tenure-Track Status 

     Listing of full-time tenure-track faculty members entering into second year of two-year contract previously approved by the Board of Trustees.
     List of faculty

Muted blue, shades of gray, let 'em eat cake

The Foundation office in A100 received a truckload of new furniture yesterday.
Doesn't look like much. Note the color: muted blue, gray.
Mr. Morley directs the Foundation.
His predecessor, Al Tello, was a nice guy but a nitwit.
Some are saying that we should bring back Al. Please.

This, of course, is the vast wasteland called "A100, interior." It gets remodeled every year or so.
It used to have a deep red floor. For a few minutes, anyway. But red is Saddleback's color, evidently.
We're muted blue. The more muted the better.
Meanwhile, most campus restrooms look like sh*t. In A200 anyway.
Note the color theme: muted blue, 50 shades of gray.
The perfect accompaniment to impending entombment or abject Republicanism.
Yawn. Snooze. Droolage.

Our Olympic Coverage: Punk Rock Women Take the Gold

There's something about punk rock women.  Rebel Girl suggests that you play it loud.

Putin Will Teach You How to Love the Motherland
translation:

$50 billion and a rainbow ray
Rodnina and Kabayeva will pass you the torch
They'll teach you to submit and cry in the camps
Fireworks for the bosses. Hail, Duce!
​
Sochi is blocked, Olympus is under surveillance
Special forces, weapons, crowds of cops
FSB - argument, Interior Ministry - Argument
On [state-owned] Channel 1 - applause.

Putin will teach you to love the Motherland.

In Russia, the spring can come suddenly
Greetings to the Messiah in the form of a volley from
Aurora, the prosecutor is determined to be rude
He needs resistance, not pretty eyes

An bird cage for protest, vodka, nesting doll
Jail for the Bolotnaya [activists], drinks, caviar
The Constitution is in a noose, [environmental activist] Vitishko is in jail
Stability, food packets, fence, watch tower

Putin will teach you to love the Motherland

They will turn off Dozhd's broadcast
The gay parade has been sent to the outhouse
A two-point bathroom is the priority
The verdict for Russia is jail for six years
Putin will teach you to love the Motherland


Motherland
Motherland
Motherland

*

Federal Lawsuit Accuses For-Profit Schools of Fraud (New York Times)

     …Though they vary widely in quality, for-profit schools have drawn scrutiny in recent years for aggressive recruiting, high prices, low graduation rates and heavy borrowing by students who often have poor job prospects afterward. They have been a particular target of overhaul efforts by the Obama administration. Much of the attention has gone to a handful of large, visible national chains, like the University of Phoenix, DeVry University and Corinthian Colleges, that are publicly traded. But like Premier, which had 17,000 students in 2012, most are privately owned and receive far less scrutiny.
. . .
     Compared with traditional, nonprofit schools, both public and private, for-profit schools disproportionately enroll low-income and minority students who qualify for significant government aid, and the schools rely far more on that aid for revenue. Federal records show that in 2011-12, Premier collected $112 million in federal Pell grants and federal student loans. For-profit schools also spend heavily on advertising, their students are far more likely to borrow money to pay for tuition, and those who borrow rack up more debt and are more likely to default.
     Students at for-profit schools often do not realize that cheaper alternatives exist through public community colleges and trade schools. A study published this month found that the majority of people who had attended for-profit colleges and trade schools did not understand the distinction, learned of their schools through advertising and did not consider any other schools....

     A friend sent this pic; she says she saw this thing hanging quietly on a wall at an Irvine Baja Fresh Mexican Grill.
     Ah, politics. Looks like Assemblyman—and former SOCCCD trustee—Don "Spanky" Wagner arranged for BFMG in Irvine to receive this "certificate of recognition," from the State Assembly, "in honor of" BFMG's "providing excellent Mexican cuisine and cullinary services to the residents of Irvine and the 70th Assembly District."
     One wonders whether Don's car sports such a certificate "in honor of providing excellent transportation for Don Wagner."

More Calif. students seeking college financial aid (OC Reg)

     As tuition costs rose over the past six years, a record number of California college students applied for financial aid, according to federal data reported by a newspaper.
     The number of California residents filing the federal financial aid application jumped nearly 74 percent over the six-year period, The Sacramento Bee reported on Tuesday (http://bit.ly/1gzOELI ) based on data from the U.S. Department of Education. Some colleges saw even higher increases – such as an 81 percent rise among applicants at California State University, Sacramento….

Outside my kitchen window this morning: deer

I was sipping my morning coffee, with young Teddi behind me on the balcony, baking himself in the sun. I noticed movement outside, through the windows and screens: two deer, walking up the side of the hill toward my patio area. Just ten feet away. Took some snaps. The deer noticed movement, too. Wary, they wandered further up the hill and away, through the avacado trees, into the morning.

At the Bauer Compound, the deer seem to be around somewhere about half the time. It's a deer haven, and even my dad, an animal lover like the rest of us, accepts that fact, despite these creatures' habit of eating the fruit and vegetables, which erodes and complicates that love. Normally, he is in the thrall of some anthropomorphic war with competitors in the harvest of same. I think my mom's love of the deer has modified his primal dog-eat-dog perspective about the competition. He is rendered semi-civilized by love. (I'm in the habit of telling him: family Gopher staked a claim here long before family Bauer ever did. But it does no good. He hates those little guys. To him, my sentiments are just College Boy nonsense. But they are not.)

When I come across the deer on our road, I just stop and let 'em by. They seem to understand this. Often, they're in no hurry to flee. Occasionally, they just stare at me, freezing time and action, residing in the eternal present, like God.

Those are some big ears, man. And they really use 'em.

Always loved this song. From 1968.