Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Rank and Fail

     RANK AND FAIL. The faculty union (Faculty Association) is conducting an election, but the election won’t be valid unless at least half of the membership participates. The polls have been open for many days, but they close in two, and, as of this morning, participation was 40 or 50 short of the all-important 50% number.
     Wow.
     Union leaders were plenty worried, and so the word got out: it’s time to start twisting arms. The twisting commenced, and, as of mid-afternoon, it appeared that the effort was successful or nearly so. Whew!
     It’s a pretty miserable situation when membership won’t even show up for elections (voting is online and takes about 10 seconds, if one dithers), but, as we know, some unionists are more miserable than others. By this morning, IVC’s School of Humanities and Languages had achieved 100% participation in the election. But certain other schools that shall remain nameless (Fart Sine) are at a participation rate in the 20s.
     Failure to achieve a valid election would seriously embarrass the union, given that faculty and the district have entered contract negotiations, a period in which leaders routinely attend board meetings to speak on behalf of faculty, that supposed passionate and hard-working crew. When faculty don’t even show up for their elections, it kinda takes the starch out of all of it.

School of a Snifter
     SCHOOL F'ARTS. Speaking of certain, ahem, pesky schools and divisions (Fat Rinse), it turns out that IVC’s School of Fine Arts (Fat Risen) is attempting to change its name. Word of this development inspired lots of loose talk down at the A200 building (at IVC) this morning. One wag noted that “Fine Arts” has such anagrams as:
A Snifter
After Sin
Sane Rift
Fart Sine
Aft Rinse
Fat Risen
Fat Rinse
Fat Resin
Ant Fires
Shatter, The Rats
A Shit Loon Scoffer
     Fine Arts seeks to change its name to “The Arts.” Some mocked that idea. One wag suggested that Fine Arts simply change its name to the “School f’arts.” Very continental, that.
     For what it’s worth, here are some anagrams for "The Arts”:
Threats
Hatters
Shatter (past tense, I suppose, of shitter, as in "The faculty descended into the latrine, shattering all hope")
The Rats
     My fave: Shatter.
     Perfect.

*P.S. Anagrams of “School of Fine Arts”:
A Shit Loon Scoffer
Facile Hoof Snorts
Foolish Snot Farce
Folio Of Snatchers
Hoofs Of Clarinets
Fornicate Of Slosh
Young Theodore's right eye

Roy's obituary in LA Times and Register: "we were lucky to have you while we did"

  This ran in the Sunday December 24, 2023 edition of the Los Angeles Times and the Orange County Register : July 14, 1955 - November 20, 2...