The Devil's droppings

Ran into a coupla faculty leaders yesterday, who told me about their big meeting with Chancellor Mathur down at the district.

They were meeting with him ‘cause Title 5 and district bylaws say that the faculty (faculty senates) should be relied upon primarily in developing the planning process(es). Nevertheless, Raghu went ahead and developed his own process and then showed it to everybody like it was a done deal. And, like always, it’s a doozy.

Remember the “faculty hiring policy” rumpus? That was pretty much the same situation. The law says that the faculty are supposed to be in on the development of faculty hiring policies, and so, naturally, Mr. Goo went ahead and developed a policy on his own—and it was another doozy!—and then he informed everybody, including faculty. “Here’s our new policy; deal with it.”

We told ‘em then like we’re tellin’ ‘em now! Hey, we’re supposed to be in on this, so back off! But no.

We tried and tried to get ‘em to change their minds, but it was no good.


So we went to court, and the judge said right off that the district is supposed to include faculty in developing these policies, so there. There were a coupla more legal adventures—they took two years—but, in the end, the faculty fully prevailed, and the district had to return to square one developing a hiring policy, only, this time, faculty had to be at the table.

Like we always said.

Now, the rules regarding the development of a planning process are as clear as a bell. They say that the district is supposed to rely primarily on faculty. (See They violate Title 5.) But Raghu and his trustee pals say No.

Are they stupid or what? Just how hard is this to understand?

It appears that Raghu keeps telling trustees that faculty want to do the planning for the district all by their little lonesome, but THAT’S NOT THE POINT AT ALL. No, the point is that, according to the rules, including the district’s own policies, faculty are supposed to be primarily relied upon with regard to developing a planning process.

(If you’ve got a brain, you’ll notice the difference between “developing a planning process” and “doing the goshdarn planning.” It’s not rocket science!)

Hell, and we’re not even insisting on being the sole developer! We’re happy to share this developmental gig with the district! “Let’s get together and do this right!” That’s what we’re saying!

But these trustees can’t read or can’t think, I guess. They’re thick. And they’re always thick in the particular way that makes them bigger, stronger—until we go to court and have judges smack ‘em down to size.


Anyway, so I ran into these faculty leaders, and they told me about this meeting they had with the Chancellor. The two Academic Senates have told their leaders that, if the district doesn’t back off, then we’ll have to take the matter up with the State Chancellor’s Office. That is, in that event, we oughta file a “minimum conditions complaint” (MCC).

So Wendy and Claire, et al., try to get the district—including head trustee Dave Lang—to show up to a meeting so that the matter can be cleared up and no MCC will be necessary. (We’re so cooperative!) But that’s like pulling teeth. Mathur gets all squirrely. Lang won’t show because he’s got his head up his a** as usual.

What’s the matter with the guy?

But, at long last, Mathur agrees to a meeting, and so one gets set up for two days ago. Now, when you meet with Raghu, you’ve gotta bring friends, because he’s wily and he’s a liar, bigtime. And so you’ve always got to bring witnesses. So maybe that was the thinking—I dunno—behind Wendy and Claire’s idea that they should show up with their respective cabinets—and that’s, like, ten people or so.


So, anyway, they drive over to HS, and they go through the special sentry and whatnot (you can’t just enter the district offices—even the door from the stairs is locked! What's a taxpayer to do?), and they finally make it to Rubina, the gal outside the Great Man’s enclave. They say, “well, we’re here for the meeting,” and Rubina tells Raghu over the phone. So, soon, they’re heading in there, all ten of ‘em! Raghu’s jaw drops, and then he starts in on his rat-faced look. You’ve seen that, I’m sure.

But he mostly keeps his cool, except when people call him “Raghu,” cuz he thinks he’s better than faculty, and he oughta be called “Chancellor Mathur” or “Herr Doktor Mathur” or whatnot.

Well, he loses it in a coupla places, but mostly things go OK and it’s decided that there’s gonna be A TASK FORCE. That’s right, a task force.

Well, we all know what that means. This thing is gonna be talked to death for a few weeks. But, in the end, Raghu and his pals will do like they always do: they’re gonna flout the rules and do just what they wanna do ‘cause they’re law-breaking *** *******s. And that’s the way it is, and that’s the way it’s been, and, well, too bad there’s no God to swoop down and smite these people (not too hard) and then announce on His Divine bullhorn that “here stand some *** *******s who think they’re My people when in fact they’re just the devil’s droppings stinkin' up My World!.”

“—Or worse!”

The SOCCCD “Lexicon Project” has begun

We at DtB (Dissent the Blog) have started work on the SOCCCD Lexicon project. Our goals is to produce a fairly complete dictionary of terms and expressions that are specific to the SOCCCD community.

Ultimately, the lexicon will be provided to new faculty and new employees generally.

Let us know if you have any contributions, suggestions, or corrections. As always, we’d love to hear from you! Both criticism and praise are much appreciated.

We’ve asked around, and here are just a few district terms and phrases. We know that there are lots more. Send 'em!

“To Beno” – as in “The faculty were totally Benoed by ACCJC.”

Shockingly to be abandoned by a presumed guardian or watchdog.

If you ask a cop for help while some guy is robbing you and then the cop looks over and says, “I think you two are doing just fine,” then you’ve been Benoed, and badly so.

Named after “Babs” Beno, president of the ACCJC, who recently visited the SOCCCD. Despite a series of recent public remarks by one trustee indicating that he contemns the Accreds and their recommendations, Beno declared that good progress was being made by the district.

Variant: “Benoed right in the ACCJC.” That is, to be Benoed from behind. Ouch.

* * * * * * * * * *

“Just like accreditation” – as in “I had to get just like accreditation with my students to make ‘em read their Hobbes.”

This phrase is used any time one needs to threaten someone to get what one wants.

Notoriously, years ago, the board inspired the ACCJC to retreat (on harsh accrediting actions against the colleges) by threatening the agency with litigation and DOE involvement. Dot Fortune snarled at 'em over the phone, too.

* * * * * * * * * *


“Sniffin’ sulphur” – as in “They’re sniffin’ sulphur over in Health Sciences” or “Let’s hope the Accreds won’t have to sniff sulphur during lunch!”

“Sniffing sulphur” means Tom Fuentes is present.

Fuentes, former head of the OC GOP and leader of its declining "Neanderthal" wing, is reputed to be Satan’s chief representative in California.

* * * * * * * * * *

“Waking the ref” – as in “When Chancellor Mathur refused to involve faculty in development of the district planning process, we threatened to wake the ref.”

To “wake the ref” is to call for assistance from the State Chancellor’s Office, whose role it sometimes is to mediate governance conflicts between, say, the district and the faculty.

Offensive variant: “wake the ref and kick his dog.” Former chief counsel for the State Chancellor was Ralph Black, who is blind and who, one might imagine, owns a Seeing Eye dog.

* * * * * * * * * *

“Pants on fire” – as in “Raghu kept telling trustees that faculty want to run district planning! Raghu’s pants were totally on fire.”

A term used to describe Mathurian lying or deceit.

Many in the district believe that Raghu’s pants are perpetually afire.

Variant: "Raghu opened his mouth." That is, Raghu lied.

* * * * * * * * * *

“Calling Spain” – as in “After the board meeting, I immediately called Spain.”

To “call Spain” is to contact the press to report one of Trustee Fuentes’ intrigues or outrages.

Not long ago, Trustee Fuentes brought national ridicule upon us by leading the board in canceling Saddleback College’s “study abroad” program in Spain. Intoned the trustee, Spain has “abandoned our fighting men and women” (i.e., Spain has pulled its troops out of Iraq).

* * * * * * * * * *

“John Boy” – as in “We asked John Boy for help, but, as per usual, all we got was a 'strongly worded' resolution.”

Sometimes this term is used to refer to the President of the State Academic Senate, Ian Walton.

Walton, while undoubtedly a good man, is viewed as milquetoastian and distractingly elocutionarily exotic.

* * * * * * * * * *

“Going to Orlando” – as in “Is that rat bastard goin’ to Orlando again? Doesn't he have a job or something?”

"Going to Orlando" is junketing or otherwise contriving to receive perks in a manner that is of dubious value to the taxpayer, who pays for it.

Trustee John Williams has a history of avoiding local or state conferences in favor of expensive distant ones, especially those held in Orlando, FL. He's been there several times in recent years, all on the district's dime.

By day, Williams is OC’s Public Administrator. As soon as he snagged that job--with the help of cronies--rumors flew that he managed to secure a car and other perks that had not been provided to his predecessor. Not sure if the rumors are true. Anybody know?

Recently, trustee Padberg asked for a report on trustee expenses over the last four years, but Williams and his board allies (Fuentes, Wagner, Lang) voted the request down.

* * * * * * * * * *

“A** Juice” – as in “A** Juice is requiring yet another progress report” or “The visiting team from A** Juice has requested a long bathroom break.”

“A** Juice” is a common nickname for the ACCJC, i.e., the Association of Community Colleges and Junior Colleges, which is the community college division of WASC. (The Accrediting agency.)

Again, contact us if you know any other district-specific terms or phrases!

Good night, John Boy.