.....What happens when you sit on a Hiring Committee Saturday and Sunday, all day — and know that, even then, you're not finished, it's not over?.....You have dreams.
.....Bad dreams.
.....In this dream, Rebel Girl asks the candidates the first question, which is, inexplicably: "How do you make a Spanish Tortilla?"
.....This doesn't make any sense because they are interviewing for a full-time position in English, a writing specialist, but there it is, the first question: "How do you make a Spanish Tortilla?" She watches the candidates react, then attempt an answer, invariably going in the sorry direction of a corn tortilla or flour.
.....All the questions are like this one, cooking-related. There has been some terrific screw-up but these are the questions they have. These are the questions that are taped to the table. These are the questions they must ask. Rebel Girl can't even imagine which position these questions are for, since the cafeteria isn't hiring and even if they were, they don't make food for this. (Describe the process of making a cassoulet.)
.....As far as she knows, the culinary institute proposal for ATEP went nowhere, but maybe these questions were designed for that ill-fated project. (How do you make a roux for a béchamel sauce? Explain the difference between garlic, shallots, and onions.) The committee decides that, instead of closing down the search and starting all over, they will ask the questions and try and discern the best candidate from the answers given......Rebel Girl tries to help one candidate who is obviously stumped, prepared to answer questions about how to teach grammar, how to teach writing in the community college classroom but not this.
....."Do I use a tomato?" the candidate asks.
....."No," Rebel Girl says helpfully.
.....Someone kicks her under the table. "You can't help them," a voice hisses.
.....Onward to the cooking demonstration!
(Rebel Girl, by the way, loves her hiring committee. And the food's been good too!)
