Raghu Successorizes

y recent blog inspired various interesting comments by readers about the meaning of Raghu’s notorious "inspirational" posters. I (somewhat sloppily) compared the posters’ messages to Hallmark sentiments and New Age drivel, but some of you saw darkness and menace where I saw tautology, cliché, schmaltz, and mindless cheerleading.

It all got me to thinking: where did these posters actually come from?

I Googled the quotation that’s on the “leadership” poster: “In the end, leaders are much like eagles...They don't flock, you find them one at a time.” That brought me to various business and motivational speaker sites.

Eventually, I found my way to a site called Successories, and I hit pay dirt. It appears that all of the posters in A100’s small conference room are available from Successories (the url is WeMotivate.com).


What is Successories? Well, Successories sells “motivational posters and gifts” to executives. Their “goal is simple…to help you [the business executive] reach yours.” No, not that. Your goals.

According to the site,

Motivational posters and motivational accessories are great gifts for employee motivation…These motivational posters and gifts have the ability to uplift and motivate anybody who reads them…It is a proven fact that you can improve work performance as well as create a truly positive workplace attitude with motivating images and inspirational quotes. (My emphasis)

Successories sells all sorts of stuff—posters, banners, coffee mugs, pens, plaques—but, in the end, the company relies on the power of the allegedly inspirational quotations that are plastered on all their crap.

Successories claims that “anybody” would be uplifted by their quotations. That’s not quite true. No educated person, for instance, would be uplifted by them, for no educated person would fail to see them as clichés or worse. That's the great thing about education. You learn stuff.

Judge for yourself. Here are just a few of Successories’ “inspirational” quotations. I’ve put them in seven convenient categories:

The GOOFY:

• "Only those who see the invisible can do the impossible." (Yeah? What about those who "write the illiterate"?)
• "What lies behind us and what lies before us are nothing compared to what lies within us." (What lies within you guys, evidently, are clichés and goofyisms.)
• "Look deep within, for stars lie hidden in your soul." (Why would stars hide there? And why not a tuna?)

The EXAGGERATED or FALSE:

• "A positive attitude is a powerful force... it can't be stopped." (OK, picture some fool smilin’ into a hurricane.)
• "Our lives are not determined by what happens to us, but by how we react to what happens.” (Yeah, that heart attack didn’t mean a damn thing.)
• "Be unafraid to fail and you will undoubtedly succeed." (Undoubtedly? You ever see American Idol?)
• "A shared purpose combined with a positive mental attitude constitutes an unstoppable force." (—Except when that force meets a still greater force. Don’t be an idiot.)
• “Climb any mountain and believe without a doubt that you will succeed.” (Yeah, at the foot of the mountain, Simon Cowell tells you you stink. That’s when noble certainty starts to carry you to magnificent heights.)
• “Never doubt that blending your talents with those of others can change the world." (Only a weasel would say something like that.)
• "Wisdom is knowing what path to take next…Integrity is taking it." (So when I turn onto Sand Canyon on my way home, I’m revealing integrity? Don’t think so.)
• "Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss it, you will land among the stars." (Stars again. I don’t know about you, but I’ve shot for the moon and hit bupkes plenty of times.)

The METAPHYSICAL/INANE:

• “Every change happens for a reason.” (Yeah, and for every one of us there’s a Perfect Someone—now just go out and find her, you silly man!)


The TAUTOLOGICAL/TRIVIAL:

• "We cannot change yesterday.” (Really? I did not know that!)
• "Teamwork means that we share a common ideal and embrace a common goal.” "Teamwork is the ability to work together toward a common vision.” (You readin’ from a dictionary?)
• "Many things are difficult before they are easy.” (Duh.)
• "Pioneers blaze their paths where highways never run." (Show me just one case of trail blazin’ on a highway, dictionary breath.)

The TOTAL BULLSHIT:

• “You can make the difference." (I like your sweater and pom-poms. Now shut up.)
• “A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events, and outcomes. It is a catalyst...a spark that creates extraordinary results.” (You are an obvious asshole.)
• “…once you've flown past the summit of your fears, nothing will seem impossible.” (You write for TV?)
• “People don't care how much we know until they know how much we care." (Pu-lease.)

The SELF-CONTRADICTORY:

• “What you say and do defines who you are, and who you are...you are forever." (If I can define myself, I can change myself; but if I can change myself, then clearly “I” am not who I am forever, fool.)


The SOCIAL DARWINIAN/PSYCHOPATHIC:

• "Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up. It knows that it must run faster than the fastest lion or it will be killed…every morning a lion wakes up. It knows it must outrun the slowest gazelle or it will starve to death. It doesn't matter whether you are a lion or a gazelle...when the sun comes up, you'd better be running." (Don’t know about you, but I’m more creeped out than motivated by this slop.)
• “There is a second place bowl game, but it is a game for losers played by losers.” (Knute, you’re a psychopath. No wonder America loves you.)

What kind of guy would look through this catalog of kitsch and claptrap and say, “Wow, this is great! We’ve got to get some for our walls!”?

A highly paid “educator,” that’s who!

--One more thing. I’m told that Raghu paid $1,200 to Successorize the conference room. But I checked, and the whole bunch of ‘em shouldn’t have cost more than about $750.

Maybe he took some home for his bathrooms—you know, to inspire the kids. --CW

The wisdom of Raghu (Hallmark sagacity)

ll this talk about stolen art has reminded us here at Dissent of the importance of art at a college. Paintings, sculptures, and whatnot inspire students--and faculty--to seize the day, and the weekend too. Like in that stupid Robin Williams movie.

We've also been reminded of the time, back in 1999, when Raghu, then President of IVC, spent $1,200 on a set of nicely framed inspirational posters. They're really quite something.

Today, I walked over to the small conference room in A100 and photographed the posters. It was lovely seeing them again. I so love the sentiments they express.

This one's called "ATTITUDE":


According to the poster, "The currents that determine our dreams and shape our lives, flow from the attitudes we nurture every day."

OK, so the water is like the current (that determines our dreams), and the rocks are like the--um, they're like our attitudes. But the currents (the water) flow from our attitudes. So our attitudes are not just the rocks, but they're somewhere out of the picture where all this water is comin' from, right? See, when things are profound, you can't make sense of 'em nohow.

The next one is called "EXCELLENCE":


Underneath the bird, it says: "Excellence is the result of caring more than others think is wise; risking more than others think is safe; dreaming more than others think is practical and expecting more than others think is possible."

My sister does all this stuff, which is why she's always broke and she's always gotta borrow money from me. So, now that I think of it, that is kinda excellent in a way. Sure, I get it.

The next one concerns the "ESSENCE OF LEADERSHIP." We see that same bird again:


Says the poster, "A true leader has the confidence to stand alone, the courage to make tough decisions, and the compassion to listen to the needs of others. He does not set out to be a leader, but becomes one by the quality of his actions and the integrity of his intent. In the end, leaders are much like eagles...They don't flock, you find them one at a time."

Yeah, Raghu is kind of like an eagle I guess. There's only one of him, too.

This one concerns "CHANGE." It's got no bird:


We're told that "If you're not riding the wave of change.... you'll find yourself beneath it."

In other words, go with the flow, and, that way, you can help drown the fools who insist on swimmin' against it. Gotta be tough.

I noticed some posters behind a door of the small conference room. Inexplicably, someone chose not to display them.

This one concerns "RATTITUDE":


This next one is kinda odd, I guess:


But for the life of me I can't understand why they haven't displayed this one:


Some of these posters--the ones they display, anyway--remind me of Tony Orlando's unforgettable remark on the occasion of Bob Hope's seventy-fifth birthday. Said Tony,

"If you could put all the laughs that Bob Hope has gotten, one after another, they would stretch all the way to the universe and fill up the black hole in space."

I'm sorry, but that line always brings tears to my eyes. --CW

P.S.: Don't forget about Feb. 13!!!

Intolerant Right-wing Buttholes

few years ago, a certain dean—he has since retreated to the classroom—decided to ensconce the A200 duplicating machine in a tiny room he had constructed at the center of the building. The dean had a reputation for hare-brained ideas—at least one of those ideas led to an embarrassing media frenzy (see The Howard Hilton)—and, at the time, this innovation, albeit small in scope, struck us as among his more absurd.

Since then, however, the odd little duplicating cubicle has somehow become a veritable fun zone, an island of vibrant comic discourse. All sorts of zany political cartoons, articles, and posters now adorn that weird little space.

It’s hard to look at it without smiling!

Among the many postings one finds there are printouts of this very blog, pinned to the wall by persons unknown. (I am content to leave Dissent the Blog in the blogosphere.) Today, I discovered that someone had taken one of the blog postings, ripped it in two, and dropped the pieces into my mailbox. The ripper, whom I will call “Jack,” chose to destroy a late December blog, one that reported efforts by conservatives to stifle the expression of liberal or radical ideas by professors in college and university classrooms. (See Patriotic Correctness.)

Now, some conservatives are in the habit of carping that their views—especially their approval of Mr. Bush’s so-called war on terror—are suppressed on college campuses, but empirical research reveals that, in reality, opponents of Mr. Bush’s war face many more threats to their academic freedom. (See Academic Freedom. Warning: this is a pdf file.) In the December blog, I illustrated the phenomenon with the 2003 “war talk” ban at IVC, which had been inspired by student complaints of faculty criticisms of our invasion in Iraq.

As far as I know, no one has ever tried to prevent any of the various flag-waving, military-honoring patriotic events or ceremonies that have cropped up on our campuses since 9-11. Not "liberal" professors. Not radical students. Not anyone.

As I stared at the torn paper in my mail slot, I wondered if Jack the Ripper understood that, by destroying the posting, he illustrated, in a small way, the very point the December blog was making?

uilding A200 was abuzz today with news that, some time after about 11:00 p.m. on Monday, someone had entered the Humanities Center and stolen a work of art that hung there on the back wall. The multi-media work—a two-dimensional painting that sprouted a three-dimensional cage, housing a distressed homunculus—was created by student Christian Perez, a popular fellow who hails from Peru.

I spoke with the Director of the Humanities Center, who is familiar with Perez and his work. She explained that this particular piece, entitled “Golden Cage,” concerned the “plight of the Latino male” in American society, or perhaps in California.

Clearly, the work was political, and it expressed a harsh assessment of our society’s treatment of Latinos.

The Director suggested to me that, probably, the painting was removed by someone whom it had offended, for other motives could be ruled out. More “valuable” things in the center, including computers, a machine filled with cash, and a Jeff Horn painting, were all left untouched by the thief. “Golden Cage” had been screwed firmly to the wall and was thus especially difficult to remove. The violent act of removal actually left chunks of drywall on the counter, and the screw that fixed the painting to the wall was actually broken in half. Clearly, someone was very determined to take, and probably to destroy, this “radical” artifact.

Campus security has been asked to look for the artwork in dumpsters around campus, but, thus far, no sign of the painting has surfaced, and the perpetrator of the theft remains unidentified, aside from the obvious fact that he is an intolerant right-wing butthole.


peaking of intolerant right-wing buttholes, have you followed the story, which broke last week, concerning the conservative group at UCLA—the “Bruin Alumni Association”—that offered as much as $100 to students who provided recordings of instructors who are “abusive, one-sided or off-topic”? (See LA Times, 1/18/06) The group claims to target instructors of all political stripes, but, in reality, each of the faculty identified in its “Dirty 30” group of teachers is a left-winger. (See www.uclaprofs.com.)

Andrew Jones, the 24-year-old who heads the group (he is its only official), has steadfastly defended his “exposing UCLA’s Radical Professors” initiative, which apes similar projects around the country. But, since last week, several members of the group’s advisory board have resigned, owing especially to the "payment" innovation, which they have tended to view as “inappropriate” or worse.

Some board members, however, defended Jones’ scheme. According to the Times, one of Trustee Fuentes’ G.O.P. cronies actually loves the idea:

[A]dvisory board member Shawn Steel, a lawyer who was recently chairman of the California Republican Party, called the effort to record professors “a great idea….” (1/19/06)

Why am I not surprised? Mostly, though, the Bruin Alumni Association’s impressive gaggle of conservatives on its board were jumping ship. By Monday of this week, even noisy right-wing talk show host Al Rantel bailed, explaining that Jones “has mishandled the issue horribly…Now what’s happened is that the whole project is discredited…Now it looks like a bunch of crazies who were trying to go after innocent professors…” (Times, 1/24/06)


Unsurprisingly, this week, Jones has withdrawn his offer to pay students for tapes and information, but “he pledged to continue his effort with unpaid volunteers.” (Times, 1/24/06)

In fact, however, even that scheme is against the rules. The Times reports that

[A] UCLA spokesman…said University of California rules bar the distribution of course materials unless permission is granted by the instructor and campus chancellor. As a result…, Jones’ campaign violates UC policy even if no payments are involved.” (Times, 1/24/06)

It’s not just UC. I’ve been told that the community college system, too, forbids unauthorized tapings of lectures or distributions of materials. Evidently, it’s in the Ed Code.

It is rumored that, this semester, stealthy conservative students at IVC (and at Saddleback?) are enrolled in courses of supposedly “radical” instructors for the sole purpose of monitoring their “radical” fulminations and supposed unprofessional blatherings.

If so, I’m sure that the press would love to hear about it.

I’ll pay $100 to any student who can help me to identify these dastardly moles. (Just kidding. We’ll leave such machinations to intolerant right-wing buttholes.)

peaking of controversy, did you read yesterday’s Lariat article on Saddleback College instructor Howard Gensler? The article, which is largely favorable, refers to Howard’s “controversial political views that he openly expresses throughout his course.” The article seems to suggest that this aspect of Howard’s teaching is one reason that he is held in high regard by some of his students. “He’s freaking awesome,” said one student.

The article notes that “Gensler was once a dean at IVC but after three years decided to draw back from that position and moved into teaching.”

That’s funny; many of us here at IVC were under a very different impression concerning the nature of his sudden exodus from IVC. Whatever.


ll this talk about controversy and administrators reminds me of one IVC administrator in particular. A dean! What a controversial fellow he was! Stories about the zany fellow abound!

Here’s one, and it’s true. When a faculty member who was more than seven months pregnant asked this dean to sign a release for her maternity leave, the fellow demanded that she supply a “doctor’s note”!

Said she, “You’re kidding, right?” He wasn’t kidding.

Yeah, then there was the time I went to lunch with the fellow. At one point in the conversation, I complained about then-President Mathur’s habit of lying. I told him that I had trouble understanding how someone could lie so often and so freely.

The dean listened to me and then declared: “They all lie.”

“What’s that?” I asked.

“I worked in [a certain Asian nation], at a university, and I tell you that business people there all lie. They lie all the time!”

I was taken aback. Eventually, I said, “Well, whatever. But what does this supposed fact about people in [a certain Asian nation] have to do with a guy from India?”

“Same thing! They all lie too!”

Oh.

JUNE: faculty speak out against impending contract renewal for Mathur

PRESS THE LITTLE RED ARROW above.

AN HISTORIC MOMENT, DIGITALLY PRESERVED:

At the June 21 SOCCCD board meeting, faculty spoke out against the board's impending decision to renew Raghu Mathur's contract as Chancellor.

The speakers:

Priscilla
Wendy
Lewis
Margot
Claire
Bob
Jeff
Carmen [Carmen's remarks are cut off at midpoint.]

Carmen's entire comment:

In the end, the board voted 4-3 (Lang, Fuentes, Wagner, Williams VS. Padberg, Milchiker, Jay) to renew Mathur's contract. He was given a quarter-million dollar salary, some of it retroactive. --CW

P.S.: This audio clip was edited down to about six minutes (last June) for the sake of possible future play on the union website. Thus, unfortunately but unavoidably, some remarks were left on the "cutting room floor."

More arrogance & cronyism in the Fuentesphere

Yikes! I read the LA Times this morning, and two articles caught my eye.

he first concerned Fuentes crony Mike Carona, the County Sheriff, a fellow honored with a “Hometown Hero” award three years ago by Irvine Valley College’s GOP-crony-infested Foundation (A Sheriff's Rising Star is Dimmed by Scandal):

Two of [Carona’s] former aides are facing criminal prosecution. Federal agents have subpoenaed his financial and administrative records. State investigators are examining his conduct with women. And he's the sheriff. Scandals and controversies have clouded Orange County Sheriff Michael S. Carona's public and private lives, dimming the prospects of a man whose political future once seemed unlimited.

Carona's official biography describes him as "America's sheriff," the handle CNN's Larry King gave him after the successful hunt for the killer of 5-year-old Samantha Runnion, whose kidnap-murder captivated the nation. The sheriff's camera-grabbing performance in the 2002 case made him an overnight sensation in Republican circles — a would-be contender for lieutenant governor and rumored candidate for a Bush administration post. He met with White House political strategist Karl Rove to plot career moves.

Yes, Karl Rove. Remember when the Bush people spread the false rumor, just before the South Carolina primary of 2000, that John McCain had fathered an illigitimate child with a black prostitute? That Carl Rove.

…Rehabilitation would require Carona to overcome a siege of allegations and embarrassing disclosures. Many center on bribery and election-law charges against two sheriff's officials, and accusations that Carona sexually harassed two women. Others have raised doubts about a life-shaping story he has often told of finding his mother dead from alcoholism.

…The sheriff declined to be interviewed for this story because he believes The Times has "fabricated" material about him in the past, said Michael Schroeder, his unpaid attorney and political advisor [Schroeder is a close associate of Tom Fuentes]. Schroeder, a former chairman of the California Republican Party, said Carona has done nothing wrong, remains popular in Orange County and will be reelected.

Schroeder was very involved in the Frogue Recall. He was responsible for bringing the state GOP on board the anti-Frogue bandwagon.

…In addition to the pending prosecution of an assistant sheriff and captain, and a state investigation into the sexual harassment allegations, The Times has learned that federal officials have subpoenaed records from Carona's reserve deputy program and election committee.

And America's sheriff may even have a Russian problem. Photographs have surfaced of Carona cradling a young woman in his arms during a 2002 Moscow trip, and of her wearing the sheriff's uniform jacket in a hotel. Schroeder said the woman was an official translator and the photos are innocent.

…The married Carona has portrayed himself as a Christian conservative, saying his "personal relationship with Jesus" is the most important thing in his life, followed by his family.

What's with "Christian conservative" politicians in this county, anyway?

The Times continues:

…Carona began his first term by persuading the Board of Supervisors to change a county rule requiring that assistant sheriffs serve first as captains in the department. That allowed him to appoint George Jaramillo and Don Haidl as his top assistants. Jaramillo, a lawyer, had been a Garden Grove police lieutenant. Carona fired him in March 2004 and Jaramillo was later indicted. The former aide has pleaded not guilty to charges that he took bribes from a Newport Beach company, CHG Safety Technologies…CHG owner Charles H. Gabbard admitted to funneling thousands of dollars to Carona's 1998 campaign through an illegal stock swap, a matter the district attorney's office referred to the state Fair Political Practices Commission.

…Carona's other top assistant was Haidl, a wealthy businessman and Carona fund-raiser who came to the job with little law enforcement experience. He had been a volunteer reserve deputy in San Bernardino County. Three state agencies investigated him years earlier for allegedly skimming proceeds from government auto sales through his City of Industry auction firm. Though denying the allegations, he paid $104,000 to settle a civil complaint. He resigned as assistant sheriff in September 2004 because of the fallout over his son's arrest in a notorious sexual assault case. Gregory Haidl and two codefendants were convicted of attacking a highly intoxicated 16-year-old girl during a party at his father's Newport Beach home.

Don Haidl oversaw the expansion of Carona's reserve deputy program, creating a volunteer corps that critics say was designed as a fundraising tool for the sheriff's political campaigns. Eighty-six of the reserves — nearly all of them Carona's political allies — got weapons permits, badges and, in some cases, guns in 1999, without the full training or background checks mandated by the state Commission on Peace Officers Standards and Training.…In August, a reserve who was Carona's martial arts instructor was arrested for allegedly waving his gun and badge at a group of golfers he thought was playing too slowly. Raymond K. Yi has pleaded not guilty and is awaiting a felony trial. Another reserve, Freddie Glusman, who owns the upscale Ritz restaurant in Newport Beach, allegedly pulled his badge and threatened a coin-laundry proprietor in an argument over a parking space. Glusman, who held a 50th birthday party fundraiser for Carona last spring, resigned after the Sheriff's Department began an investigation of the incident.

…One of Carona's confidantes, Sheriff's Capt. Christine Murray, was charged last year on 16 misdemeanor counts of soliciting campaign donations for the sheriff from department colleagues. State law prohibits government employees from asking co-workers for political contributions. Murray denies the charges….

…Some people who have worked with Carona or knew him before he became sheriff say many of his woes betrayed a lack of savvy in running a big-league department, as well as hubris. They say the appointments of Jaramillo and Haidl and putting friends and political insiders on the reserve force smacked of arrogance and cronyism. Just as revealing, they say, were Carona's since-abandoned proposal to emblazon his name on all sheriff's patrol cars, and his practice of traveling with an entourage of bodyguards. The four-deputy contingent referred to Carona by the code name "Braveheart."

…The celebrity brought by the Runnion case also invited a closer look into Carona's background. In 2003, The Times first reported the inconsistencies between Carona's story of his mother's death from alcoholism and the official record. He said his mother drank a fifth of liquor and a six-pack of beer daily, and that he found her dead in her bed one morning when he was 11. An autopsy report, however, stated that his mother died of cancer that began as a sinus tumor. It said she had no alcohol in her blood, and that Carona's father had discovered her body.

…Last summer, Erica Hill, who is Jaramillo's sister-in-law, told the grand jury she'd had sex with Carona. The panel called her as part of its investigation into the bribery charges against Jaramillo. Hill told The Times that Carona pressured her to have sex as a condition to the Sheriff's Department hiring her husband as a deputy. She said their first tryst was during Carona's 1999 inaugural party, in a hotel room. Her husband was not hired.

…In September, a Mission Viejo man filed a $15-million claim against the county, alleging that his former wife was sexually harassed by Carona. Dean Holloway, who is now divorced and is on probation for grand theft, asserts that Carona called Susan Holloway in 2002 at the couple's Aliso Viejo home and asked her to spend the weekend with him in San Francisco. The Holloways were married at the time….

On the 4th of April, 2003, the IVC Foundation issued this press release:

Sheriff Mike Carona to be Honored at Irvine Valley College Foundation Awards Dinner...The Board of Governors of the Irvine Valley College Foundation announced today that Orange County Sheriff Mike Carona will be the guest of honor at the annual IVC Foundation Awards Dinner, to be held at the Irvine Marriott Hotel on Wednesday, April 23, 2003 at 5:30 p.m. The theme of this year’s dinner will be “Securing the Future.” “We are proud to announce that Sheriff Carona will receive our Hometown Hero Award and will be acknowledged for his contribution to the community,” said Board Chairman Duane Cave.

For a recent blog re Fuentes and cronyism, see Cronyism & Mirthulence.

he second article concerned a guy with whom I went to grade school (Cerro Villa Junior High, Villa Park High). We used to call him “Hambo." Well, Hambo got a fifteen year prison sentence for “bilking the city [of Orange] out of millions through kickbacks and fraud.” According to the Times (OC Trash Firm Owner Gets Fifteen Years),

A man once embraced as a hometown hero was sentenced Friday to nearly 15 years in prison for bilking the city of Orange out of $4.3 million through his trash hauling company. Jeffrey Hambarian, 51, who had faced up to 20 years in prison, was also ordered to pay $12 million in restitution and fines. Hambarian's attorney, Mark Geragos, unsuccessfully sought a sentence similar to those given to Martha Stewart and other executives with no criminal history…A jury in August found Hambarian guilty of 47 counts of grand theft, fraud, embezzlement, money-laundering and filing false tax income statements…The scam surfaced in 1995 after an accountant for Hambarian's trash firm, Orange Disposal Services, alerted the city to discrepancies in the annual audit. News of the scam distressed the tight-knit community, which regarded civic-minded Hambarian as a favorite son who gave generously to charity and was friendly with politicians. The disclosure also caused a rift in City Hall and ultimately the firing of the town's police chief after he started investigating the leak of sensitive internal documents to reporters. Prosecutors said Hambarian blackmailed his vendors into padding and faking invoices, then forced them to funnel the profits to him, laundering the money through check-cashing businesses in south Los Angeles County…Geragos said Hambarian had done nothing wrong and was the victim of a conspiracy by vendors who were promised immunity by the government.

I remember “Hambo” as a lout and a dolt. No wonder he became a Big Man in the OC. No F-ing wonder.

Thursday's Photographic Updatery!!!

issent the Blog is efficacious, baby.

Back in November, our own Rebel Girl offered a piece called "Twinkle, Twinkle, Trustee Tom" that highlighted the profound lowlights of the part-timer experience here in the district, a circumstance of which Trustee Tom Fuentes appears wholly oblivious. Wrote the Reb:

Take for example, the part-time faculty office in A-200 (please!). A modest hand-lettered piece of paper taped to the door affirms that it is, indeed, the part-time office. The otherwise unadorned facility serves, theoretically, the needs of some 60 or more part-time faculty and their students.


The office resembles a windowed closet..., tucked away between a mail box arrangement and the cheerful Howard Gensler Memorial Xerox Cubicle, its constant rhythmic sound and light show, a jolly mechanical celebration of the ingenuity, creative thinking, and can-do spirit of that clever fellow....

A quick survey reveals the bunker is equipped with two desks--that’s one for every thirty “star” instructors, teacher-to-furniture ratio-wise. The drawers of one desk are broken and splintered..., no use to anyone unless they are going to use their gaping cavity as some kind of “cubby” or public storage unit. Or maybe this is what the Martha Stewart-type magazines mean by “distressed”? (Nov. 19)

Well, guess what! Recently, matters have improved in the A200 part-timer office. I'll let a photo--taken earlier today--do the talking:


The office still isn't anything to write home about, but it is much improved. We appreciate the effort!


ecently, I noted that Irvine Valley College rests upon an enormous plume of toxin-contaminated groundwater and that, back in 1989, the Irvine Ranch Water District (IRWD) installed a solitary cleanup pump (called ET-1) across the street from IVC. I noted, too, that, about a year ago, the IRWD proposed building a much-needed second toxic cleanup pump, but that got NIMBYd into oblivion. According to the Irvine World News ("Woodbidge nix sends well back to drawing board"),

The Irvine Ranch Water District is back to re-evaluating options in the project to clean up the plume of toxins in the groundwater under Irvine. The Woodbridge Village Association board voted Feb. 4 to not allow the water district to drill a cleanup well near the community's North Lake Lagoon and to work with IRWD to find another solution in dealing with the "toxic plume." The board had initially agreed to allow the water district to use the Woodbridge Lake well to pump trichloroethylene (TCE)-contaminated water from the plume in groundwater that extends from the old El Toro air base. The well would have been part of the larger project, dubbed the Irvine Desalter Project, which would clean up toxins from the air base that seeped into the groundwater over a period of about 40 years. One such cleanup well [namely., ET-1] has been in operation at Irvine Center Drive and Jeffrey Road since 1989, but the water district says that one well is not enough...The plume also is headed toward areas in the aquifer that might be used in the future to supply Irvine with drinking water. And, the contaminated part of the water basin is a potential source of drinking water for the future...Some residents questioned why the project was named "Irvine Desalter Project," when it's a toxic plume clean-up....Without the cleanup well, the lake will continue to be filled with water pumped from the toxic plume by an existing well owned by the Woodbridge Village Association, as it has been since the lake was created.... (Feb. 12, 2004)

Earlier today, I walked across the street to ET-1 to check it out. Right away, I encountered a pair of signs. These prove that the people down at the IRWD have a wicked sense of humor:


The ET-1 facility is set back from Jeffrey a hundred yards (on one side), but it's pretty much right up against Irvine Center Drive (on the other), where it is surrounded by a ragged barbed wire fence. There's a sign that identifies the facility. Once again, something--maybe not a sense of humor, maybe something darker--is in evidence:



(Just for laughs, let's imagine how the sign would read in a less BS-impacted world:


Now, here's a fascinating factoid. About ten or fifteen feet from this facility--a facility used to clean toxin-contaminated water--is a strawberry field!


That tears it. No more strawberries for me!

I walked to the middle of the complex and peered through the fence. What I saw amazed me. I held my camera over the fence and took a cock-eyed snap. I felt like Warren Beatty in Parallax View! Here's what I got:


The picture doesn't really convey how deep and big that hole is. It appears that IRWD is constructing a super-duper TCE-sucking gizmo. Wow.

Well, what do you make of it all?

If you find out later that I disappeared under suspicious circumstances, do remember about this pic.

And remember: Klaatu barada nikto. --CW

"You Did a Raghu Thing" (2000)

recorded this ditty about six years ago on my old Fostex R8. It's based on the Chris Isaak recording "You Did a Bad Bad Thing" (remember from "Eyes Wide Shut"?). Unfortunately, the recording was transferred over the phone, and so the sound quality is poor. (You can hear me monkeying with the phone. Drat.)

Note: to hear the song, press on the red arrow to the right of "play this audio post." Voila!

What's this stuff across the floor?
What's this sh*t up on my door?
What's this memo over here?
And that crap right under there?

Chorus:
You did a Raghu thing
You did a Raghu thing
You put that sh*t up on my door
You did a Raghu thing

You been lyin' like a rug
You been dressin' like a thug
What's that guff you givin' me?
So you bought a Ph.D.?

Chorus

Saw you grabbin' someone's plant
Saw you grinnin' at the bank
You put a stink into my world
Don't you point that thing at me

Chorus

Etc.

Notes:

The line about the plant is an allusion to the infamous "poinsettia" episode. See The "poinsettia" episode.

The line about "pointing" is an allusion to the Great Man's love of the saying, "when you point a finger at someone, three fingers point back at you." Somenow, the fellow doesn't seem to grasp that the point is NOT to point at people. To see a fine illustration of Raghu's penchant for pointmanship, see the Archives: Raghu points a finger of blame.

The line about the "Ph.D." concerns the Great Man's doctorate (not a Ph.D., actually, but a doctorate) which he received from the spectacularly unprestigious Nova Southeastern U in Florida, an institution that routinely ranked dead last in U.S. World & News Report's yearly rating of colleges and universities. Who knows, maybe it's climbed up the rankings in recent years.



"BONUS" SONG:

I recorded this "song" at about the same time. It's essentially a kind of punk chant. The lyric: "Rat bastard at 12 o'clock," repeated ad nauseum. I played the guitar on an old acoustic, routed through a distortion box. Noisy, ain't it?

It's not about anyone in particular. If you know a "rat bastard," then it's about him (or her or it).

Karl Rove? --Sure, why not. It's about Karl Rove and all Karl Rove wannabes.

Played into my phone and thus onto Blogspot's computer. Pretty low-tech. Think I'll have a beer and call it a day.

--CW

P.S.:

See The Incident for an old article re the history of the phrase in question.