Here at Dissent, we like to be useful and informative, and what could be more useful and informative than info about the people we work with? So I’ve decided to do the occasional “profile” of an employee of the South Orange County Community College District.
Now, as it happens, today, I came across the college website of a certain Saddleback College Econ instructor: Howard Gensler: Gensler website.
Why not a profile of Howard?
YES, HOWARD. Before Howard joined the faculty at Saddleback College in 2003, he was a dean here at IVC. We’ve written before about Dean Howard and his IVC legacy (see The “Howard Hilton”). I do believe that we wrote that piece while Howard was still our dean, and so we had to be, well, careful. But I do believe we managed to convey Howard's special specialness.
By 2001, Howard had presented IVC President Raghu Mathur and two or three trustees with a scheme, hatched by Howard and a local nonagenarian, to create an $800 million private complex, complete with a lake and a Hilton Hotel, here at IVC. For some reason, the venture was being developed (or at least discussed) in secret, but I figured the world really needed to know about it, and so I made a couple of phone calls to reporters. The reporters made inquiries, and then they wrote about Howard’s scheme. For some reason, the whole “Howard Hilton” thing then unraveled. The city was pissed. The scheme was generally regarded as ridiculous, even idiotic. In the end, trustee Wagner, among others, did some serious backpedaling.
And Howard? Let’s just say that lawyers were involved, and then, after a time, Howard showed up on the faculty at Saddleback College. How strange!
So, today, I came across Gensler’s website for the college. Really, it’s like a profile all by itself!
Now, obviously, Howard has a lot to offer, and he’s pretty generous with his offerings on his website. For instance, he explains his “education philosophy”:
The site provides the syllabuses of his various courses, each of which contain the following:
The site’s home page also includes a “biography”:
Howard explains that his
For example, after his Northrop gig went south,
Howard is obviously very proud of being the savior, taxwise, of the world’s most populous country:
But there were many other accomplishments:
HOWARD THE UNLUCKY DUCK. Have you noticed? Howard is plainly the most unappreciated person in the history of humankind. He achieves stunning things—saving China, saving UCI, saving the IRS—and, instead of being hired or promoted, he’s sent packing.
For instance, elsewhere, referring to himself in the third person, he describes his achievements during his brief employment with the Bank of America:
American steel! Saved by Howard!
According to Howard, his Econ dissertation was epoch-shatteringly clever. Alas, continuing a familiar pattern, none of the experts appreciated his work. Howard explains:
I highly recommend these videos. It's like you're looking straight into Howard's soul.
At the college, when you see Howard, tell ‘im, “Hey, vampire!”
Now, as it happens, today, I came across the college website of a certain Saddleback College Econ instructor: Howard Gensler: Gensler website.
Why not a profile of Howard?
YES, HOWARD. Before Howard joined the faculty at Saddleback College in 2003, he was a dean here at IVC. We’ve written before about Dean Howard and his IVC legacy (see The “Howard Hilton”). I do believe that we wrote that piece while Howard was still our dean, and so we had to be, well, careful. But I do believe we managed to convey Howard's special specialness.
By 2001, Howard had presented IVC President Raghu Mathur and two or three trustees with a scheme, hatched by Howard and a local nonagenarian, to create an $800 million private complex, complete with a lake and a Hilton Hotel, here at IVC. For some reason, the venture was being developed (or at least discussed) in secret, but I figured the world really needed to know about it, and so I made a couple of phone calls to reporters. The reporters made inquiries, and then they wrote about Howard’s scheme. For some reason, the whole “Howard Hilton” thing then unraveled. The city was pissed. The scheme was generally regarded as ridiculous, even idiotic. In the end, trustee Wagner, among others, did some serious backpedaling.
And Howard? Let’s just say that lawyers were involved, and then, after a time, Howard showed up on the faculty at Saddleback College. How strange!
So, today, I came across Gensler’s website for the college. Really, it’s like a profile all by itself!
Now, obviously, Howard has a lot to offer, and he’s pretty generous with his offerings on his website. For instance, he explains his “education philosophy”:
I … believe that we should have fun in everything we do. [In class, w]e generally play a roll game rather than just take roll. I use humor liberally. The vast majority of students enjoy my sarcasm and wit….I know I do!
The site provides the syllabuses of his various courses, each of which contain the following:
COURSE CHANGES: I reserve the right to modify the course at any time, including the timing of tests, the due dates and contents of assignments, and coverage of material.Gosh, what a whimsical fellow! No wonder students love him so!
Howard is a big Pat Benatar fan |
The site’s home page also includes a “biography”:
I earned five Bachelor’s degrees simultaneously from the UCI, in English, History, Philosophy, Political Science, and Economics, all with honors. … I gave the Honors Convocation Student Speech, which was published by the University. It was the second speech ever published by UCI. The first was Hazard Adams’ retirement speech. He was a founding faculty member and considered one of the most erudite professors ever to teach at UCI. I set the record for multiple majors at UCI. The record still stands….—That’s one thing about Howard. He always finds ways to do very odd, seemingly pointless, things and then to find ways to make ‘em seem like impressive accomplishments! Howard and Hazard! Two erudite fellas. They're practically the same guy.
Howard explains that his
first position was as instructor and academic administer at the Northrop University School of Law. I was soon promoted to Dean. … I was offered the position of Provost, but we were unable to agree on the scope of the position….—This is a motif in the Life of Howard: over and over again, he’s about to achieve greatness, or at least a steady job, but no. He gets fired or something. It’s so unfair!
For example, after his Northrop gig went south,
I soon got hired as an attorney/adviser at the national headquarters of the Internal Revenue Service…. … I was assigned the most difficult regulations project ever tackled by the IRS and completed the project in record time. The Associate Chief Counsel tried to hire me to work on a project to simplify the tax code, but he was blocked by the Commissioner of the IRS….—Dang! Thwarted by the top tax dude! But our Howard was undaunted:
I returned to Southern California and completed a Masters and a Ph.D. in Economics at the UCI. … On graduation, I accepted a position at the Hong Kong University of Science and Technology as a Business Law Instructor in the Department of Accounting in the School of Business. … [My partner and I] were invited to be the official translator for China’s tax laws, but the government was unable to agree to a publication cycle as fast as we could provide and insisted on total control of official and unofficial publication….Dang ditto!
Howard is obviously very proud of being the savior, taxwise, of the world’s most populous country:
…If it was published in the 1990’s and it had to do with Chinese business laws, odds are Gensler did it.—Ah, but is he known for such things? Apparently not!
. . .
…In other words, the Chinese were able to pay their taxes thanks to Yang and Gensler’s tax translation service. [My emphasis.]
. . .
Gensler was the undisputed authority on Chinese taxes, as well as a major player in Chinese business law and accounting law.
[I] published about 50 articles and nine books…. I was the world’s foremost authority on Chinese Tax laws during the mid- and late-1990’s….”
But there were many other accomplishments:
I returned to Southern California once again and became Dean of Humanities, Fine Arts and Library Services at Irvine Valley College. I increased the library collection and circulation statistics. I revamped the main fine arts classroom building to improve the college’s small theatre operation. I convinced the administration to move the Theatre building project up to the top building priority at the college….Oddly, there are many here at IVC who offer a very different assessment of Howard’s impact on the library and on the building that contains the theater. Go figure!
HOWARD THE UNLUCKY DUCK. Have you noticed? Howard is plainly the most unappreciated person in the history of humankind. He achieves stunning things—saving China, saving UCI, saving the IRS—and, instead of being hired or promoted, he’s sent packing.
For instance, elsewhere, referring to himself in the third person, he describes his achievements during his brief employment with the Bank of America:
…Gensler not only prevailed in keeping B of A in [the] steel [industry], but Gensler’s findings and recommendations served as the basis for the lead article of the Bank’s Annual World Economic Report, which convinced the nation’s financial system to continue to support the American steel industry.
Gensler saved American steel for five more years….
One of Howard's many publications |
According to Howard, his Econ dissertation was epoch-shatteringly clever. Alas, continuing a familiar pattern, none of the experts appreciated his work. Howard explains:
The nation had just spent over $600 million and well over ten years studying welfare in the Negative Income Tax Experiments…. The problem was, the experiments were temporary. Participants didn’t behave normally. They gamed the system. … Gensler used non-experimental data gathered from the Current Population Survey. Gensler’s results were of very high statistical precision and in the appropriate behavioral direction. However, the American economics establishment had just blown $600 million of the taxpayers’ money and wasn’t keen on publishing better work that had been done by a graduate student for free over one summer. Gensler ended up publishing much of his work in English academic journals.HOWARD "GUINNESS BOOK" GENSLER. As we’ve seen, Howard likes to focus on such unique achievements as getting the most degrees or earning those degrees faster than anyone. In the “bio” section of his site, he explains:
After Irvine, I went to UC Berkeley and completed a Juris Doctor…. It was an established 4-year joint program, but they kept telling us that no one ever actually completed it in four years. I don’t know about anybody else, but I finished in four years….DEFIANTLY INCORRECT. Another things about Howard: he’s no fan of “political correctness.” For instance, on the website, he explains
After some adventures in the working world, I decided to return to school to complete a Ph.D. in Economics. I returned to UCI. It generally took seven years to complete a Ph.D. in Economics. I finished in just over five years….
… [At the IRS], Gensler got a new Branch Chief (“Ann”). Ann turned out to be a man-hater, and did everything she could to make Gensler hate his job. She spent most of her time in her office with other female attorneys whining about men. Ann had made Branch Chief in just five years, which was probably a record. It was hard to see how all this sex discrimination from men that she complained about incessantly had hurt her career….Defiant fellow! Elsewhere, he explains that
I spent a great deal of my childhood at the beach bodysurfing and playing football. I was so dark I was the only minority at my high school….WATCH HOWARD MAKE FREE-THROWS, BACKWARDS. Perhaps my favorite part of Howard’s website is “Activities”:
…My favorite game is billiards. I play 8-ball. I often circulate throughout Orange County, challenging people to games at various bars....On the website, Howard actually provides videos of some of his activities and, um, skills:
. . .
Because I am out most nights until 2 am, I got the reputation for being a vampire. The joke stuck, and a buddy and I developed a website: Myvampire.net. It has everything you need to know about vampires.
. . .
I was at the going out of business auction at the Wax Museum in Buena Park and accidentally bought the Batman…. It sort of took over my life. Now I have Batman shirts and Batman belts and all of the Batman movies and the entire TV series on DVD. There’s even a three foot wide Batman symbol on the hood of my car….
I highly recommend these videos. It's like you're looking straight into Howard's soul.
At the college, when you see Howard, tell ‘im, “Hey, vampire!”