Renaming Saddleback College's "Butt" Library

     I noticed that, on Monday, the Lariat posted an editorial: What should the new Library be named?
     Gosh, I’m surprised that college officials are even contemplating changing the library’s name, what with Tom Fuentes still among the living! (Fuentes knew and loved cold war right-winger James B. Utt, after whom the library was originally named.)
     The Lariat clearly seems to think that a name-change opportunity exists.
     It notes a serious problem with the existing name: “Currently the name is the James B. Utt library which has been given the nickname the ‘Butt Library.’”
     Ouch.
     The Lariat seems to embrace criteria for naming the library after a person: “A person should be memorialized with his or her name on a building only if they have contributed a lot to the campus, both in his or her terms of time and monetary patronage.”
     Both? Whatever.
     The Lariat has a sense of humor:

     One of the more popular ideas is to give the name a sense of learning and dedication.
     The Saddleback College Library of the Pursuit of Higher Dedication to the Continual Journey of Knowledge [SCLPHDCJK for short], is certainly not a practical name but the essence is to give it a cerebral quality that should be found at a college.

     Yes, a cerebral quality should indeed be found at a college.
     That’s funny, especially at Saddleback.
     Naturally, I wrote them my suggestions:

     …How about the “Bedtime for Bonzo” Library—in honor of Saint Ronald, who was on hand for the campus’s opening?
     “Bonzo” Library is more pithy. Also “Bedtime” Library (which gets a plus for fidelity to fact).
     Or just “Library.” That would be cool, pithy-wise.
     You can’t call it the “Gaucho” Library because, as you should know, the “Gaucho” moniker/mascot is controversial and, indeed, there’s some sort of committee working on its replacement.
     How about “Gabacho” Library? From “Gaucho” to “Gebacho” is cool, I think, in a meta kind of way.
     The original library’s design was changed when right-wing trustees got weirded out by the student anti-war protests occurring in Santa Barbara at the time. That’s why it had no windows: they wanted it to be a fortress against students!
     So how about “Bastion” Library? Or “Paranoid” Library? Or maybe the “Fear of Students” Library?
     For the sake of timeliness, I’d go with the “Soon-to-be-phased-out” Library or the “Increasingly Anachronistic” Library.
     Or you could go in the other direction. Call it “Books” Library. That would be fun, I think. There’s a nice right to that.
     One more: the “Non-ALA affiliated” Library. Or just the “Benighted” Library.

     Be sure to send the Lariat—and college decision-makers—your own thoughtful suggestions. It couldn’t possibly hurt.