Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Gosh, thanks, Matt


.....Jason just clued me into this. The OC Weekly's Matt Coker has decided to bundle three "Una" people: the Unabomber, the Unabauer (me), and the Unarobber.
.....I really don't want to explain how I got that stupid moniker. Not again. Let's just say that John Williams is an idiot and leave it at that.
.....Matt makes clear that, unlike the other two UnaPersons, I'm not dangerous. "He wouldn't hurt a flea--honest!" says Matt.
.....Gosh, thanks, Matt.
.....But who's this "Unarobber" guy?
........The Unarobber is a 5 foot 9 white guy in his 30s who weights 180 lbs. and has short dark hair, a moustache and goatee and some kind of tattoo on the left side of his neck. An armed bank robber, the FBI gave him the nickname because he wears a hoodie and shades--just like the Unabomber.
.....(It should be noted here that it is within the realm of possibility that Bauer does not even own a hoodie.) [Right.]
.....At around 10:45 a.m. Saturday--while the Unabomber was rotting in jail and the Unabauer was likely creating one of his amazingly hilarious photo illustration mash-ups--the Unarobber walked into the Wells Fargo on Alicia Parkway in Laguna Niguel.
.....He placed a backpack on the counter, pointed a semiautomatic handgun at a pregnant teller and threatened to kill her and her baby if she did not hand over the loot, according to sheriff's deputies.
.....Wells Fargo Bank has since put up a $10,000 reward for the arrest and conviction of the Unarobber.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Holy Sh***! That's MY bank!

Roy's obituary in LA Times and Register: "we were lucky to have you while we did"

  This ran in the Sunday December 24, 2023 edition of the Los Angeles Times and the Orange County Register : July 14, 1955 - November 20, 2...