Lake Forest: friendly atmosphere

I NOTICED an article in the Reg this morning about two “would-be” burglars of a “a medical marijuana collective” in Lake Forest.

A medical marijuana collective? In sleepy ol’ Lake Forest?

A couple of hours later, I was reading the review of “District 9” in the OC Weekly. An ad caught my eye. “OC Weekly alternative healing,” it said.

Momentarily under the impression that I was linking to an article about, oh, alternative healing, I clicked on the ad.

OK, call me clueless. To my shock, up popped 39 ads for, um, medical marijuana. Thirty-nine of ‘em!

I read:

Free joint
The kindest bud in OC
Care with a smile/friendly atmosphere
Free gram
Marijuana evaluation
Mention OC Weekly for discount
Tranquil healing
Free grow classes
Ask about our daily specials
Try before you buy

Judging by these ads, Long Beach and Lake Forest are hot spots for medical marijuana sales.

—And, thus, consumption? Guess so.

I did not know that.

Some of these sellers have websites. “GGECO” of Foothill Ranch is prominent. (Their ad seems to "borrow" that gekko character from GEICO.) GGECO's site features a groovy video about such products as “sage X sour diesel.” I have no idea what that is.

Meanwhile, the “Compassionate Caregivers of Lake Forest” website features a sober robo-babe named Mindy who explains the care taken in producing and providing medical pot. She's worth a look, if you're stoned.

Lake Forest again. One of the safest (and mellowist) cities in the country!

Mountain Ray

MOUNTAIN RAY:

Twenty-five years ago, just a few yards from where I now sit, my late bro Ray used to cultivate doobage. Yes, when he wasn't a U.S. Marine or a carpenter, he was a wacky tobacky grower. He claimed to grow the very best “shit.”

I had no idea. One day, he brought me up here (this was before my house was built) and proudly showed me his crop, which was somewhat enshrouded by oak trees. What could I say?

“These plants look real healthy,” I said. Ray was a tad volatile, so you avoided saying things like, oh, "Are you f*cking nuts?"

Good grief, I thought. I wanted nothing to do with all this. Luckily, my dad soon found Ray’s “farm” (I don’t recall how that happened), and he destroyed everything. Pop’s not into ganja, though he does brew a mean camomile tea. (He’s from the old world. He’s got a divining rod and lederhosen, too.)


Ms. Clean:

I think my cleaning lady is into weed. She’s an aged hippy, as dumb as a doorknob. She believes in UFOs and Gaia and the end of the world (a couple of years from now, she insists). I think she’s permanently stoned.

She's an ad for abstinence.

Sometimes, students show up stoned (or whatever) to class. If they seem physically healthy, I try to ignore them. Still, sometimes so blatant is their bliss that I am compelled to advise them that, if they want to fly, they should do that outdoors.

Usually, they just rest their heads and snooze.

Lord, they’re stupid*.

*Pot heads, not students.

UPDATE:

Coincidentally, on Friday, a few hours after I blogged about Lake Forest’s wacky proliferation of marijuana outlets, the OC Reg reported on that very phenomenon:

City trying to weed out 10 marijuana dispensaries

The gist of the story is that Lake Forest is the home of many marijuana outlets, in part because of its “laissez-faire” approach to businesses. Nevertheless, the city objects to these businesses and believes them to be violating the city’s ordinances:

At least 10 marijuana collectives are doing business in Lake Forest, setting up in office spaces that often go unnoticed by the city. ¶ Though Lake Forest adopted an ordinance prohibiting any business that does not adhere to both state and federal laws, many of the dispensaries have taken advantage of the city's laissez-faire policy where businesses are not required to register with the city.
…
And though federal law prohibits the use and sale of marijuana, some dispensaries appear to be operating without meeting even state standards. Of the 10 dispensaries that were reviewed by the Orange County Register, four could not be verified as holding a state seller's permit – one of the guidelines set forth by the state's attorney.

One weed entrepreneur describes the situation in Lake Forest with the phrase, "don't ask, don't tell."

So Lake Forest is a kind of libertarian heaven--it's an entrepreneurial wild west. There may be rules for businesses in that town, but there ain't no sheriff to enforce 'em.

(Maybe that's why Tom Fuentes lives in that silly town.)

Meanwhile, the city is trying to get the pot sellers out, using a “new strategy.” They won't say what that strategy is. (Maybe they'll just make a few phone calls to the feds, but the feds have other, more important varmints to chase.)