"The assessment will begin today," said the jackass (The Santiago fire)

No doubt you’ve read some of the articles in the Times and the Reg about the “Santiago” fire. These articles tend to give out useful phone numbers and weblinks.

Have you noticed that no reference is ever made to any authority who might answer the big question on the minds of thousands of evacuees?

WHEN CAN I GO HOME?

Well, the Orange County Fire Authority (OCFA) is often referred to as some sort of authority, the one entity, if any, that can answer important questions such as that one.

I’m an evacuee. I’d like to know when I may return to my home.

I’m a reasonable guy. I don’t make trouble. After all these days (five of 'em), I’ve never called anybody. I’ve waited. But I’ve got a job, and I’ve got bills to pay. It would be nice to have SOME IDEA when I can go home.

Well, until today, the OCFA has given us NO INFORMATION AT ALL. Really. I’m not exaggerating!

According to today’s OC Register, “Residents will be notified via the Orange County Fire Authority Web site when [their] area is reopened.” OK, that makes sense.

The Reg also explained that “An assessment team will determine when evacuated residents may return to their homes.” Aha! THIS IS GREAT! SOMEBODY IS GONNA MAKE SOME DECISIONS ABOUT WHEN SOME OF US CAN GO BACK HOME!

But when will the AT make this determination?

The answer can be found—in bold red letters—on the Orange County Fire Authority Website. There, we’re told:

This assessment will begin Sunday, 10/28/07 and will continue through at least the peak burning period and into the evening.

The AT’s "assessment" to allow citizens to return to their homes will “begin” today?

What on earth does that mean?

The OCFA continues:

The decision to allow residents to return to their homes will be contingent upon the anticipated fire threat and weather predictions for the affected areas. [Duh.] The Santiago Incident Unified Command will then implement a plan to allow residents to return to their homes. Silverado, Williams, Modjeska, Live Oak, and Trabuco Canyons and Hamilton Truck Trail may be reopened at different times based upon conditions within each respective canyon. [Again: DUH.]

—OK. We’re being told, not that a “determination” or "assessment" has been made, but that we have now entered a period—a period of indeterminate length—in which decisions might be made, and if and when that happens, a plan will be “implemented.”

In other words, we are as much in the dark now—about when we may return to our homes—as we were before the OCFA made its bold red announcement about its assessment team!

PHONE CALL:

So I finally called the OCFA. I nice man answered the phone. I asked him when I would be allowed to return to my home.

“Where do you live?”, he asked.

“Along Live Oak Canyon Road.”

“Let me see. [A few seconds pass.] No, you can’t return home yet.”

“When will I be allowed to return?”

“I don’t know.”

After a little more conversation, the fellow advised me to go to the OCFA website.

“But I’m looking at that now. It doesn’t tell me when I will be allowed to return home. It gives me no information about that at all.”

Clearly, this fellow at the other end of the phone seemed to believe that the OCFA website was chock-full of helpful info.

Like what?

“Well," he said, "it tells you that different canyons will be opened at different times!”

“Yeah, that makes sense."

After a few seconds I said: "But is there no place I can go, no authority I can speak to, to learn anything about when I can go home? ANYTHING?”

“Go to the website,” he said.

OK, I am now officially pissed.

P.S.: My dad just called. He, too, is an evacuee. As it turns out, he was directed to use the same OCFA phone number that I used. According to dad, that number is no longer in service.