The Scantron inspiration

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A manual Scantron multiple-choice reader

A "Transfer Celebration" was held at IVC today.

The RAGHU ROAD

Last week, in court, Chancellor Raghu P. Mathur prevailed against a woman who had accused him of discrimination. Post-victory, anyone else would perceive that two roads lay before them: the high road of magnanimity—and the low road of petty gloatery. They would understand that they really ought to take the high road, not the low road.

But not our Raghu.

Last Friday, he proclaimed his “exoneration.” I think I heard trumpets. Then, this week, he announced a Tuesday meeting of the district administrative leadership—apparently for the purpose of discussing his court victory.

Administrators scrambled to accommodate the fellow. Then, at the last minute, Raghu rescheduled the meeting for Friday afternoon, sending administrators into scramblage anew. —You know, just like always.


LET’S BE POSITIVE

It is conceivable, I suppose, that the meeting will be useful. Perhaps Raghu will advise administrators not to make the mistakes that he has made. Maybe he’ll offer advice gained through bitter experience.

“Whatever you do,” he’ll say, “don’t explain a decision not to hire, for some job, a more qualified person of color by saying ‘I didn’t want to be accused of reverse discrimination!’”

“That makes you look bad, evidently.”

“In fact,” he’ll add, “you might want to just go ahead and hire the more qualified candidate.”

“Prudence is but experience,” wrote Hobbes, “which time equally bestows upon all men.” —Something like that. Don’t have it right in front of me.


Raghu would continue: “And whatever you do, don’t hire an incompetent frigging lunatic. Not like I did. Sheesh. You can’t imagine the personal inconvenience I have suffered.”

"Listen up! I'm trying to help you here!"

In my imagination, Raghu would be a font of wisdom: “One more thing: before you hire an administrator, for God’s sake, contact their former employer first! See if the guy is, like, a totally embarrassing jackass from hell!”

Ah, yes. “And when, six months into his job, you discover that, at his previous job, the guy you hired—you know, the less qualified person—had exhibited disturbing behavior and had even cost a unit its accreditation, you might want to take seriously any complaints you get about the guy's behavior. Even complaints from people you don’t like!"

"Don’t do what WE did—you know, nothing, until finally Ted Weatherford shows up and knocks the guy on his ass and sirens fill the air and reporters buzz around and trustees ask questions and everything goes blooey!”

We do hope that, after the meeting on Friday, attendees will drop us a note, explaining what the darned meeting was all about.

Sorry about your Friday afternoon being messed up. That sucks.

THE STATE OF NATURE

Mathur’s court victory sent a clear message to female employees: here in the district, if you are menaced by your mentally ill boss, the district won’t do squat for you—unless Ted shows up to put a little English on the cue ball.

Hence, here at Irvine Valley College, baseball bats are proliferating. I’ve included snaps of a few of ‘em.


"WHICH NOVELS SHOULD I READ?"

Are you getting the same kind of absurd grief from students that I’m getting? I just got an email from a student (for my Philosophy 1 class) who now tells me that he’s been abroad for over a month. He just got back.

It's the first I've heard about his absence. Naturally, he missed a month of class, including several written exercises. That means that he's already got an F.

He writes: “Could you tell me if there are any novels I’m supposed to read, or anything?”

Novels?

“And when’s the final. Could you tell me about the final? I think I can make it for the final, but when is it?”

Tell us your STUDENT STORIES. We love 'em! (Students, and student stories.)

INSPIRATION FOR THE PERFORMING ARTS BUILDING?


At one point today, I was called from my office by some colleagues. "Bring your camera!" they shouted.

OK. They claimed that they had just figured out the architectural inspiration for the new Performing Arts Building. You know, it's that new thing with the special shapes and angles goin' on. Plus wacky colors.

They pointed to the goddam Scantron machine sitting right there in our so-called "faculty lounge."


Could be.