The SOCCCD “Lexicon Project” has begun

We at DtB (Dissent the Blog) have started work on the SOCCCD Lexicon project. Our goals is to produce a fairly complete dictionary of terms and expressions that are specific to the SOCCCD community.

Ultimately, the lexicon will be provided to new faculty and new employees generally.

Let us know if you have any contributions, suggestions, or corrections. As always, we’d love to hear from you! Both criticism and praise are much appreciated.

We’ve asked around, and here are just a few district terms and phrases. We know that there are lots more. Send 'em!

“To Beno” – as in “The faculty were totally Benoed by ACCJC.”

Shockingly to be abandoned by a presumed guardian or watchdog.

If you ask a cop for help while some guy is robbing you and then the cop looks over and says, “I think you two are doing just fine,” then you’ve been Benoed, and badly so.

Named after “Babs” Beno, president of the ACCJC, who recently visited the SOCCCD. Despite a series of recent public remarks by one trustee indicating that he contemns the Accreds and their recommendations, Beno declared that good progress was being made by the district.

Variant: “Benoed right in the ACCJC.” That is, to be Benoed from behind. Ouch.

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“Just like accreditation” – as in “I had to get just like accreditation with my students to make ‘em read their Hobbes.”

This phrase is used any time one needs to threaten someone to get what one wants.

Notoriously, years ago, the board inspired the ACCJC to retreat (on harsh accrediting actions against the colleges) by threatening the agency with litigation and DOE involvement. Dot Fortune snarled at 'em over the phone, too.

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“Sniffin’ sulphur” – as in “They’re sniffin’ sulphur over in Health Sciences” or “Let’s hope the Accreds won’t have to sniff sulphur during lunch!”

“Sniffing sulphur” means Tom Fuentes is present.

Fuentes, former head of the OC GOP and leader of its declining "Neanderthal" wing, is reputed to be Satan’s chief representative in California.

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“Waking the ref” – as in “When Chancellor Mathur refused to involve faculty in development of the district planning process, we threatened to wake the ref.”

To “wake the ref” is to call for assistance from the State Chancellor’s Office, whose role it sometimes is to mediate governance conflicts between, say, the district and the faculty.

Offensive variant: “wake the ref and kick his dog.” Former chief counsel for the State Chancellor was Ralph Black, who is blind and who, one might imagine, owns a Seeing Eye dog.

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“Pants on fire” – as in “Raghu kept telling trustees that faculty want to run district planning! Raghu’s pants were totally on fire.”

A term used to describe Mathurian lying or deceit.

Many in the district believe that Raghu’s pants are perpetually afire.

Variant: "Raghu opened his mouth." That is, Raghu lied.

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“Calling Spain” – as in “After the board meeting, I immediately called Spain.”

To “call Spain” is to contact the press to report one of Trustee Fuentes’ intrigues or outrages.

Not long ago, Trustee Fuentes brought national ridicule upon us by leading the board in canceling Saddleback College’s “study abroad” program in Spain. Intoned the trustee, Spain has “abandoned our fighting men and women” (i.e., Spain has pulled its troops out of Iraq).

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“John Boy” – as in “We asked John Boy for help, but, as per usual, all we got was a 'strongly worded' resolution.”

Sometimes this term is used to refer to the President of the State Academic Senate, Ian Walton.

Walton, while undoubtedly a good man, is viewed as milquetoastian and distractingly elocutionarily exotic.

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“Going to Orlando” – as in “Is that rat bastard goin’ to Orlando again? Doesn't he have a job or something?”

"Going to Orlando" is junketing or otherwise contriving to receive perks in a manner that is of dubious value to the taxpayer, who pays for it.

Trustee John Williams has a history of avoiding local or state conferences in favor of expensive distant ones, especially those held in Orlando, FL. He's been there several times in recent years, all on the district's dime.

By day, Williams is OC’s Public Administrator. As soon as he snagged that job--with the help of cronies--rumors flew that he managed to secure a car and other perks that had not been provided to his predecessor. Not sure if the rumors are true. Anybody know?

Recently, trustee Padberg asked for a report on trustee expenses over the last four years, but Williams and his board allies (Fuentes, Wagner, Lang) voted the request down.

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“A** Juice” – as in “A** Juice is requiring yet another progress report” or “The visiting team from A** Juice has requested a long bathroom break.”

“A** Juice” is a common nickname for the ACCJC, i.e., the Association of Community Colleges and Junior Colleges, which is the community college division of WASC. (The Accrediting agency.)

Again, contact us if you know any other district-specific terms or phrases!

Good night, John Boy.