On the good ship Nincompoop

▲ DEMONIZING ADOLF? Remember (former SOCCCD trustee) Steve Frogue’s pal MICHAEL COLLINS PIPER? [His fate: HERE.] He used to work for Willis Carto's Spotlight, a wacked-out anti-Semitic newspaper. Nowadays he has a radio show on the nearly infinitesimal Republic Broadcasting Network called the “Piper Report.” I checked out Piper’s radio archive and found that among his guests has been Willis Carto. Need I say more? No, but I will.

Here’s a description of a recent show:

…Piper featured a provocative interview with [guests]… discussing … the fact that the primary reason why the United States and Britain were so determined to wage war against Adolf Hitler was because ... Hitler had begun to implement a bartering system ... in order to circumvent the machinations of the international banking houses in the sphere of influence of the infamous "City of London," the center of global finance operating under the control of the Rothschild family and their satellites in Europe and the United States….

Ah, the old “Jewish bankers” conspiracy theory. Piper is an idiot.

The description goes on to refer to the “controlled media” and its desire to “carp on and on about the much-talked about ‘Holocaust,’ which [the guest] noted, quite correctly, is the subject of much propaganda and exaggeration….”

Any nation today, it goes on to say, “that dares challenge the banking elite…will find itself and its leaders demonized by the mass media, precisely as Hitler was demonized and is demonized today.”

I wonder what Steve thinks about all this?

▲ THEY REALLY ARE LIKE THAT. In this morning’s Inside Higher Ed, there’s a mildly amusing story about a Harvard recruiting video that went badly wrong. The brief video was an attempt to make Harvard’s Economics Department website “more personal." Unfortunately, the two professors who appear in the video come across as “stodgy and stereotypically self-important.”

Yup, they sure do. At first, their performance looks like a parody of, well, the Harvard Econ Department. But no. One soon realizes that everything one feared might be true about such a place is indeed all-too-true.

Naturally, the video found its way onto YouTube, whereupon it inspired parodies and the like.

On YouTube, one poster wrote “It’s like watching paint dry.” Another poster responded: “I didn’t think it was quite that exciting.”

Reminds me of Chancellor Mathur's attempt to seem human a year or so ago. He played Carnac, the old Johnny Carson character. My guess is that, after Raghu bombed, he immediately went backstage to kill the poor guy or gal who suggested the "humanizing" gambit.

Raghu, let me offer you some advice. Just be yourself. If, in your heart, you want to tyrannize underlings and pulverize detractors, then just come right out and say so. People love honesty. Then, if possible, get some tears going. Ask the Lord for forgiveness. People love penitence.

Plus, if you do this, I promise to send you a check for $50. That's fifty dollars, American.

▲ DINOSAURS ON THE GOOD SHIP NINCOMPOOP. This morning’s New York Times has a story about a High School kid in New Jersey who secretly tape recorded his teacher proselytizing in class: Talk in Class Turns to God:

…[T]he teacher told his sixth-period students at Kearny High School that evolution and the Big Bang were not scientific, that dinosaurs were aboard Noah’s ark, and that only Christians had a place in heaven….

“If you reject his gift of salvation, then you know where you belong,” Mr. Paszkiewicz was recorded saying of Jesus. “He did everything in his power to make sure that you could go to heaven, so much so that he took your sins on his own body, suffered your pains for you, and he’s saying, ‘Please, accept me, believe.’ If you reject that, you belong in hell.”….

Get this: the community has largely sided with the teacher, not the student, who has received a death threat.

▲ SARAH TURNS FOUR. Went to my niece’s birthday party yesterday, which had a "dinosaur" theme. Sarah is smart; I'm sure she's clear that dinosaurs were never on an ark. "How would they all fit?" she'd say (if I were to ask, which I won't). I took a few snaps.

This is Sarah, who turned 4. She's a great kid.

Here’s her close pal and cousin Liliana.

Liliana let go her balloon, and we all watched it drift into the clear blue yonder.

There we all were, staring into the distance, imagining the perspective of a little balloon, so high in the cold winter sky.

IVC's Adopt-a-Family is a hit—PLUS: no port-o-potties!

As you know, at Monday’s board meeting, we were treated to the marvel of trustee DON WAGNER praising something, namely, the “Adopt-a-Family” Christmas Program that is held annually at Irvine Valley College. He seemed to think that Trustee BILL JAY always shows up at these things playing Santa.

Well, that might be true, but, if so, nobody’s noticed, cuz Bill Hewitt has been claimin’ to be that particular Santa for years.

I ran into some people this morning, who asked that I cover the Adopta event for the blog. I said I would. Mostly, though, I was at school to give a final exam, my last of the semester.


During my morning wanderings, I also ran into classified employees who were hopping mad about yesterday’s announcement of a water shut-off for Tuesday and Wednesday of next week. According to the announcement,

From December 19 through December 20…, the water to the entire Campus will be shut-off to facilitate re-routing pipes to [construction] projects. Portable restrooms will be strategically placed throughout the campus…We apologize for any inconvenience.

“How come you didn’t write about that in the blog this morning?” asked one woman. “This is one of Wayne’s deals.”

Wayne? Uh-oh. (Someone had just told me a Wayne Ward story. As you know, IVC's Chief of Police of six years, Owen Kreza, is gone, forever, for reasons yet-to-be-explained [don't hold your breath]. Nevertheless, he's been spotted on campus this week. For instance, on Thursday, he was at the Facilities and Maintenance workers' "team building" BBQ. According to my source, F&M's Wayne Ward bought him lunch.)

I asked the woman to elaborate about the problem with this water shut-off.

“Well, going in a port-o-potty is no fun. Plus where are we supposed to wash our hands? And are they gonna supervise each kid’s visit to the toilet over in Child-Care? They’d better, or those kids are gonna fall right down that hole!”

I imagined that. Splat. She continued:


“Yeah, I can see why they waited until faculty and students weren’t around before doing this, but what about us?"

I said I’d look into it. In truth, I didn't realize that it was an issue until that moment.

Well, I went off to give my final exam and then, at about 11:30, I wandered over to the cafeteria, the site of the Christmas Program. There must’ve been well over one hundred people in there. And, judging by the joyous squallery, they were happy. The food looked great, the staff were all smiles. Even the mice danced a festive dance upon the ceiling tiles, causing a delightful asbestos snow in which the children danced. (Well, I made that last part up, though there've been lots of mice/rat incidents lately.)

Adopta's Xmas Program was clearly a big success. It had already attracted VIPs. Somebody told me that the Chancellor had dropped by for his photo op. I spotted Cal Nelson, the popular and jolly interim VPI, plus three or four other administrators. Plus Glenn (Roquemore, the college president). I think I spotted his young son.

And Santa. He was making the rounds, talking to little kids, uttering his “ho ho ho’s.”

It was Bill Hewitt all right. I spotted Pam, his wife. She was there, she said, to see Bill “play Santa for the last time.” As you know, our Bill has gone big time, for, soon, he will serve a hitch as the president of the Faculty Association of California Community Colleges (FACCC, pronounced Fack ck ck ck), which is located in faraway Sacramento, land of the Big Skeeter and the Guv Nator.

MY 15 SECONDS OF ELFHOOD

I was feeling all warm and fuzzy, and so I started hanging with Santa as though I were his elf. When some of the little kids froze at the sight of the jolly red fat man, as they sometimes do, I jumped in there like a rodeo clown, saving Santa from the bull. That is, I made goofy faces at the kids. I think they liked ‘em.

Well, OK, this rodeo clown stuff lasted maybe fifteen seconds. But I kept following Santa, which is a little awkward, cuz Bill's got this St. Nick thing down, and he moves fast. Finally, as we neared the chow line, I asked him if I could sit in his lap. I figured he’d just laugh. But no. “Ho ho ho,” he said.

Eventually, we made our way to the other end of the room, where sat Santa’s colorful throne. Well, to make a long story short, I sat on Santa’s lap, and he asked me what I wanted, and I told ‘im, but I can’t possibly repeat that here, because I gave him my real wish. Santa laughed a lusty “Ho ho ho!”


An efficient gal who works in Bill’s office took snaps. (See.) I wondered what she was thinking.

Eventually, I spotted Rebel Girl, who was on campus doing “department chair” duties but who was persuaded to take a break to visit the Christmas program. She explained the Adopt-a-Family concept to me as though I were the world's biggest knucklehead. Evidently, it provides money for a Christmas dinner plus toys to eligible families. Sounds great. It turns out the Reb’s a long-time supporter of Adopt-a-Family.

Well, I had to run, but, on my way out, a woman accosted me and informed me that the “water shut-off” problem was solved. Evidently, the classified union met with Ward and HR (I think) and the upshot was that the water shut-off issue was no more.

“That's great,” I said. Me 'n' the Reb headed out, but not before Cal yelled at us, "Have a SUPER Holiday!"

Three hours later, I was back in my office, and, on my email, I came across a new “water shut-off” announcement. It was a “revised” announcement, and it came from Wayne Ward. It said

From December 21 through December 22, 2006, the domestic water to the entire Campus will be shut-off to facilitate re-routing pipes to [construction] projects. Portable restrooms will be strategically placed throughout the campus…. We apologize for any inconvenience.

That’s Thursday and Friday, right? I think the college is closed on those days.

OK, call me Mr. Persnickity—well, don't—but, strictly speaking, Wayne’s email fails to say that the water will NOT be shut off on Tuesday and Wednesday. I mean, strictly speaking, all he’s saying is that, now, there are these two other days that the water will be shut off. Right?

Well, whatever. To all of you, even Wayne—EVEN RAGHU—I offer a lusty "Ho ho ho!" And to all of you, a good-night.

Yes, that's Bill under all that fur.

In praise of Donna

On Wednesday, there was an event in honor of Donna Martin, the Executive Assistant to the Office of the Board of Trustees. Everybody likes Donna. Plus, she’s terrific at her job.

I’ve been going to board meetings off-and-on for more than ten years, and she’s always been there, and she’s always left the impression of being a classy lady. Over the years, I’ve often had occasion to call her (for audio or video tapes, etc.), and she’s always been perfectly pleasant and professional.

Plus she’s kind of a babe.

Well, a friend of mine who was there told me that lots of people showed up to speak in praise of Donna. The friend said that administrators, trustees, classified employees, and faculty got up before the group to say a few words. Marcia was funny. Other people were too.

“Everyone spoke,” said my friend. “Everyone. Except for one person.”

“Guess who?” said the friend.

Back in August, we reported on that month’s meeting of the Board of Trustees. (See Goo review.) The issue that generated the most heat that night concerned Chancellor Raghu Mathur’s layoff or transfer of one of Donna’s coworkers, supposedly as a cost-cutting measure. (As you know, simultaneously, Mathur was angling bigtime for a raise plus $40K in unused vacation time.)

Evidently, in taking that action, Mathur employed his usual modus operandi, i.e., unilateralism, ruthlessness, insensitivity, etc. But, at that board meeting, his account of his action made it seem far otherwise.

Donna, who seldom speaks during board meetings, felt compelled to comment on the action concerning the coworker. “We were never consulted…The rug was pulled out from under us,” she said.

What, one wonders, could inspire the likes of Donna Martin to say something like that!?

In the course of the subsequent exchange, Mathur referred to a phone call between he and Donna. His account of the exchange portrayed a sensitive boss who took pains to consult Donna, though he “didn’t have to,” about the wisdom of the action he was then contemplating. During the call, said the Gooster, Donna repeatedly stated her “support” of his proposed action.

That inspired the reticent Ms. Martin immediately to demur: “No, [what I did was] I thanked you for calling me….”

Naturally, the Imperial Goo cut her off, commanding: “Please don’t interrupt me!”

It went downhill from there. The episode was most unpleasant.

Well, Donna’s send-off was a big success. We do have some great employees here in the old SOCCCD, don’t we?

Anywhere he wants to

A MONTH OR TWO AGO, someone told me that IVC head of maintenance WAYNE WARD had decided to install "waterless" urinals in the B100 men's restroom. My friend said that there was some kind of screw-up, and so the taller of the two urinals was out of commission and covered in plastic most hideous.

A couple of weeks ago, a colleague noted, in disgust, that the B100 restroom smells of urine. "Yeah, I know," I said. "It's those 'waterless' jobs. The big one is busted; the little one stinks."

Today, I noticed that both urinals are kaput. Both are covered in plastic. Looks like sh*t. Smells like urine.

AS I WAS DRIVING around campus this morning, another friend called me over and told me to check out the furthermost maintenance yard. "That Wayne thinks he can f*ckin' park anywhere he wants to, I guess," said the friend.

Well, I did find Wayne's Camaro. It was parked where it shouldn't oughta be. Way to go, Wayne.

Chestnuts Roasting

The most dreadful semester wound down in fine style in the A-200 faculty lounge on Wednesday when two instructors, inspired by what a little goodwill might do (Yes, Virginia, yes!) created a party from nearly nothing: a few trays of cookies baked by a generous faculty mom in Whittier; a cardboard box o'coffee bought at the local neighborhood mega-monster corporate coffee-opoly; a tablecloth improvised from the OC Weekly holiday edition; chairs stolen from various empty classrooms (the faculty lounge sports, as you know, only four chairs); and jazzy holiday tunes wafting from a nearby office.

Friends, it doesn't take much to make folks happy. Yes, George Bailey, it's a wonderful life.

Chris and Jan from the Health Center (a Zen-like zone of peace and tranquility in the Student Services Center) took the prize for traveling the most distance to attend the spontaneous cookie soiree. A-100 was well-represented by Kathy, Gee and Al Tello. The adjunct pool sent representatives from Fine Arts, English and Spanish. Beth from the Reading Lab showed up, and the usual suspects from A-200 were in attendance, ambassadors from across the disciplines and programs. The dapper and charming Bob, Dave F's personal hero, also put in appearance. We reminisced. We told jokes. We roasted chestnuts. We were visited by the ghosts of administrators past. We asked advice of each other. We gave advice. The spirit of holiday camaraderie --- all, amazingly, without boozy nog --- nestled itself into our collective bosom, and an atmosphere of cuddly and jingly and warm descended on the straw-strewn manger, er, lounge.

And then the college president came by to wish everyone well and to testify, somewhat defensively, that he had indeed signed the requisition form for lounge furniture that was, of course, nowhere in evidence. "Maybe in the new year," he added, hopefully. "When you get back."

I hope so. If not, Rebel Girl has a suggestion. This is what you do when you need furniture moved: you call your friends with pick-up trucks and promise them beer and pizza upon delivery.

But enough grousing. 'Tis the season to be jolly. And we were yesterday, weary but jolly. Did I mention that the soiree began at 2:00 and wound down after 6:00? Can we get FLEX credit? Can we do the same thing next month, maybe a Welcome, Furniture Party?

~RG

Good news: we're not Stockton

In this morning’s Stockton Record: Stockton ranks dead last in literacy:

You might be the only person reading this story. Or anything else, for that matter.

For the second year in a row, Stockton ranks last in a study of literacy in the nation's largest 70 cities.

Seattle ranks first overall. El Paso, Texas, finished second to last in the study, published this week by Central Connecticut State University.

…"It breaks my heart," said Michelle Lonero, a teacher at Rio Calaveras Elementary School….

…"It is disconcerting," Mayor Ed Chavez said. "There's no way to sugar-coat it."

Chunk's photo backlog

ACCRED TEAMS MEET WITH CHANCELLOR'S CABINET (11/30):

This was the scene up in the snazzy district offices as the trustees' meeting with the Accreds ended:
That's trustee Fuentes moving toward Debra Blue. The SC Accred team is to the right (with Lang).

Above: Chancellor Mathur lingered as Chancellor's Cabinet prepared to meet with the Accreds. Mathur did not attend these meetings. I asked him if I was welcome, and he said "Yes."

Above: just before the Chancellor's Cabinet Accred meeting. I left the meeting early, sensing that my presence might discourage frank discussion.

Above: a few hours earlier, the IVC Accred team met with the IVC Academic Senate.

VISITING THE DISTRICT OFFICES (late November):

It's a different world, up on the third floor. Looks like corporate offices. Taco Bell maybe.

Outside the Chancellor's office:


OUR NEW BOARD OFFICERS

With apologies to Tracy Daly:

At Monday's board meeting, Nancy Padberg was replaced by Don Wagner. Nancy's the Majority's least favorite trustee.

Above: all too often, the board votes look like this.

Vice Chancellor Andreea Serban