FACULTY CONTRA GOO: June 21 board meeting

Public comments regarding Chancellor Mathur’s contract.

[During the meeting, after these remarks, Chancellor Mathur's contract was renewed. Further, he was given a raise--some of it retroactive. He now makes about a quarter million dollars per year.]

Priscilla R (IVC): “Three votes of ‘no confidence.’ Three massive votes of ‘no confidence.’ I submit that the evidence is irrefutable…Raghu Mathur cannot function as our Chancellor. He cannot be our leader if none of us will follow him.”

Wendy G (IVC): “Almost all of the lawsuits that you have endured and you have ended up expending taxpayer dollars for have been as the result of the mismanagement of this current chancellor. I would like to suggest that there is a strong possibility…that you cannot rely on the information you are getting from this Chancellor….”

Lewis L (IVC): “Last Tuesday I read in the LA Times…that the CEO of Morgan Stanley had been asked to resign. As I read that, I was struck by the irony that, in the private sector, when a corporation is experiencing difficulties, the CEO is asked to resign. Apparently, in the public sector, when the corporation is experiencing difficulty, the CEOs are awarded a new contract and a raise….”

Margot L (SC): “Since 1997, when he was hired as President of IVC, Chancellor Mathur…has cost the taxpayers of this district more in litigation fees than any other senior administrator in the history of this district…One case alone—the recently decided appellate court case challenging the Board’s attempt to unilaterally set faculty hiring policies—likely will end up costing the taxpayers approximately $500,000. That total will be even higher if the district refuses to follow the advice of the court to settle this matter quickly….”


Claire C (SC): “The Saddleback College Academic Senate has a continuing concern that the Board of Trustees, have been given...unreliable information that misconstrues the faculty intent and effort in the accreditation processes, board policy revisions, and the current litigation in faculty hiring process…I respectfully call to the Board’s attention the final paragraph from the unanimous decision of the…appellate court: ‘we note that the parties and the public would be better served if the matter could be resolved by further negotiation, or some form of dispute resolution rather than continuing to spend scarce public resources to litigate the matter further.’…

We need leadership that will seek our involvement—embrace it, even cherish it, and not reject it. Thank you.”

Bob C (SC): “…I’d like to ask for the sake of the community that you retire. I ask for the sake of classified staff that you retire. I ask for the sake of the administrators that you retire. I ask for the sake of the faculty that you retire. And finally, I would ask—using one of your mantras: ‘What have you done for your students today?’—that for the sake of your students, you retire….”

Jeff K (IVC): “In 1997 I was approached by administrators [about] honoring our departing college president Dan Larios with a plaque to be mounted at the site of a small native plant garden that students and I installed a month before. The administration arranged for the small plaque, but I was asked to come up with some words…It was a great send-off for Dan that day, and I had the honor of unveiling the plaque.

When Mathur replaced him as president, the plaque soon disappeared from a large rock on which it was firmly bolted. The official word was that the stone plaque—stone plaque—was washed off the rock in the rain. Later, however, maintenance personnel told me in confidence—and [told] others as well—that the plaque is sequestered away in a room and that they were asked to remove the plaque from the rock.

In 2000, you said ‘no’ to Raghu Mathur, and I was allowed to keep my job. For the life of me I can’t understand why it’s so hard for you to say ‘no’ now….”

[In 2000, Mathur recommended that tenure be denied to Jeff on the grounds that Jeff had allegedly participated (along with several tenured faculty) in the unauthorized naming of a greenhouse--one built by those faculty with their own labor and funds!]

Carmen D (SC): “…Does he have the ability to bring people together to act for the good of the institution?

[Carmen looks to the large audience at her left. “No” booms the audience.] [T]he answer is again, ‘no.’

…Finally, does he know how to do his job? [The audience booms: ‘No.’]

Why else would the board of trustees decide to micromanage the chancellor’s daily actions unless they had absolutely no faith in his decision-making capability?...

There is nothing [pause] …more heartbreaking than to watch public officials knowingly cling to the wrong action because they are resistant to listen to any voice other than their own, or to refuse to consider the collective wisdom and experience of trained experts, professionals, and even community members from their own constituency while refusing a call for new district leadership. I hope that [those among the trustees who oppose a contract renewal] would cling to your individual values and your sense of right and wrong. Let your actions serve to bring the district together.

[Carmen looks to the 60-70 full-time faculty, in black, along the hall’s walls:] That over sixty faculty of the two colleges have gathered in the summer to stand against a renewed contract for this individual should be a clear message that the time for new leadership has come. Thank you.”

[The audience responded to each of these remarks with sometimes thunderous applause.]

RAGHU'S WILDFIRES OF INANITY by Chunk Wheeler

I surfed the internet this morning and found a site in which Chancellor Mathur endorses some sort of New Age “self-esteem” technique; it entails giving people blue ribbons and saying "Bing!"

I’m not making this up. I swear!

The url is

http://www.blueribbons.com/events_stand.html

At this particular site, Raghu declares:

“The ‘... Who I Am Makes A Difference’ system helps create a wildfire of dignity, respect, creativity and positive communication among students, faculty and the community-at-large. Helice 'the Spark' Bridges’ humor, powerful delivery and innovative leadership provides students and faculty with effective ways to uplift the human spirit, sustain positive relationships, and make their dreams come true.”--Raghu P. Mathur, Ed.D., Chancellor Saddleback College [sic]

A “wildfire of dignity”? "The Spark"?

As it turns out, Ms. Bridges’ “system” has everything to do with a story. The story starts like this:

A teacher in New York decided to honor each of her high school seniors for the difference they made in her life. Then she presented each of them with a Blue Ribbon imprinted with gold letters, which read, "Who I Am Makes a Difference."®

Afterwards the teacher gave each of the students three more ribbons to acknowledge others, to see what impact it would have in their community. They were to follow up on the results, see who honored whom and report back to the class the following week.

--Let’s cut to the chase: in the story, one student gives a ribbon to a “junior executive,” who in turn gives a ribbon to his boss. The boss gets all mushy and eventually pins his son. The kid begins to “sob and sob.” Turns out the kid was about to kill himself with a gun. The story ends with the kid saying: "I was planning on committing suicide tomorrow, Dad, because I didn't think you loved me. Now I don't need to."

Yeah, right. Then we get this:

Imagine…A Blue Ribbon on Every Heart!
To Order Blue Ribbons…Call 800-887-8422

For a measly $149, Ms. Bridges will send you 600 “uncut blue ribbons.” She sells all sort of crap on that site.

Ms. Bridges' goofy "system" is pretty simple: it boils down to launching these emotional pyramid schemes. It all takes "one minute":

In a minute or less…you can change the world!


Step 1 - Focus on the good:
…Sit or stand in front of the person...Show them the Blue Ribbon….

Step 2 - Express your appreciation:
Tell them how they make a difference!…

Step 3 - Respect their choice to receive your gift…

Step 4 - ...Place the Blue Ribbon above their heart…pointed slightly upwards and say, "I'm placing this ribbon above your heart toward all your best dreams coming true!"

Say, "YOU ROCK! I BELIEVE IN YOU! GO FOR YOUR DREAMS!"


Step 5 - Lighten them up and cheer them on:
Point to the globe on the ribbon and tell them…"Inside of this globe are cheerleaders, cheering you on for your dreams. I am one of them. To get the whole community jumping for your dreams, I'm going to put a "Spark" by placing my finger on the cheerleaders and saying BING! .... 


Step 6 - Connect heart-to-heart:
Hug, shake hands, smile.... 


Step 7 - Give them a chance to be a Spark for others:
Present two extra Blue Ribbons and two copies of the Who I Am Makes A Difference® Story so that others will have the opportunity to become Difference Maker "Sparks" and make a positive difference in the world.

--I’m not making this shit up, really I’m not. This is the very system that Raghu says “helps create a wildfire of dignity….” Elsewhere on the site, we’re told:

Imagine kids … growing up … where all people are built up, encouraged to live their dreams and are passionate about making the world a better place. Helice “The Spark” Bridges had this dream ...In 1980, at the age of 38, Helice “Sparky” Bridges…discovered that people were literally staving [sic] for recognition. It was then she decided that people of every age, race, religion, nationality and economic status deserved to be appreciated, respected and loved. As a result, she created a “Who I Am Makes A Difference”® “One Minute Blue Ribbon Acknowledgement™” process…The spirit of the Blue Ribbon acknowledgment message began to ripple throughout communities. People told stories of how this “One Minute Blue Ribbon Acknowledgment™” healed broken marriages, stopped fights, increased grades and raised self-esteem…By 1983, Helice founded Difference Makers International, a nonprofit educational organization…She changed the buttons to blue ribbons with the words “Who I Am Makes A Difference”® stamped in gold…People began to order Blue Ribbons throughout the world....

Evidently, Ms. Bridges has traveled the world over to promote her inane and undignified “just say 'Bing'” philosophy.

Hey, this is starting to sound familiar. Wait a minute! Yessirree. Check out the schedule for the district's opening ceremonies for Fall 2003. There, one will find the following:

Special Guest Speaker: Who I Am Makes A Difference
Ms. Helice Bridges
Author and International Speaker

Ms. Bridges, a renowned international speaker, corporate trainer and best-selling author, is the creator of the original “Who I Am Makes A Difference.” She is here to help us create a blue ribbon wave of recognition, a wave that we can ride throughout the year!

Evidently, it didn’t take.

One more thing. It is widely assumed that “self-esteem” is terribly important, that the lack of it causes many of the problems we see in young people, and that the possession of high self-esteem is the key to success and health. But in fact, as respected mathematical psychologist Robyn Dawes (Carnegie Mellon U) has often noted, there simply is no evidence for such claims:

Surveys published in the 1990s have shown that self-esteem is unrelated to socially desirable or undesirable behavior. Some people behave very badly and have high self-esteem (which may create a problem if that esteem is challenged)….Other people feel very good about themselves and behave well; they are not narcissists. On the other side, low self-esteem in no way guarantees undesirable behavior; in fact, if undesirable behavior leads to low self-esteem, then the person feeling bad about himself or herself may seek out help to control or eliminate the undesirable behavior, and hence feel bad but simultaneously start to engage in socially desirable behavior. --From Everyday Irrationality, (Dawes, 2001)

--CW

MATHUR VS. WOMEN, by Chunk Wheeler

     As you know, Chancellor Mathur and women tend not to get along. I don't think Raghu likes 'em! 

     Consider, for instance, the case of the much-loved Leann Cribb, who worked under and with Raghu in the mid-90s. "Mr. Mathur routinely revises facts and manufactures innuendo to suit his objectives," she wrote in a formal complaint against the Gooster (August 3, 1995). (For the whole letter, see People walking on eggshells.) 

     Then there's the case of Bevin Zandvliete, the IVC spokesperson who quit after only a month. Raghu's administration, she told the Register, "was doing some things that I don’t think I could represent without violating my own ethics" (9/25/98). "

     "Aracely Mora" is another name (there are so many!) that comes up in regards to Mathur's ongoing war with women. Four years ago, then-IVC President Mathur hired a white guy from Virginia to be Dean of Health Sciences, PE, and Athletics at IVC. The guy didn't look like much, on paper or otherwise. That was bad enough, but he was chosen, by Mathur, over Cely Mora, a popular educator with a state-wide reputation for excellence in her field. According to the search committee, she was by far the superior candidate. 

     But she's a woman, so Raghu decided to go with the guy with sh*tty paper. Plus the guy's name was "Rodney Poindexter." People were plenty pissed off. 

     Cely decided to take the matter to civil court. She sued Mathur personally for racial and gender discrimination. She had a strong case, as these kinds of cases go. But, to the amazement of many observers, the judge granted summary judgment in favor of the defendant; further, he ruled that she must pay Mathur's attorneys fees. 

     The ruling was ridiculous, and so Cely appealed, and, in August of this year, the appellate court unanimously decided that the original judge's granting of summary judgment in favor of Mathur was improper, as was his decision concerning attorneys fees. (Click on the graphics.) And so the case is back on track, with a new judge.

 

SO HERE'S THE THING. 

     While Cely's been slogging through the civil courts, this Poindexter fella flames out in spectacular fashion almost immediately! 

     (That Raghu sure can pick 'em! Remember when he hired a dean who tried to bring a Hilton Hotel to IVC? Ha!) 

     Here's some background on the POINDEXTER SAGA from an old issue of Dissent (Oct. 7, 2002):

White male from Virginia: 

     Among Raghu Mathur’s achievements while IVC President was a series of administrative hires that, despite protests from search committees, boldly ridded the college of administrative competence. 

     One such hire was “Rod” Poindexter, ASIVC’s recent "Administrator of the Year." (Chosen, supposedly, by students; the ASIVC prez was one Anthony Kuo, a staunch Mathurian.) Mathur & Co.’s appointment of Dean Poindexter in June of 2001 was controversial. According to the Irvine World News, 

   More than 40 teachers, students and community college leaders came to [the] meeting of the SOCCCD board of trustees to air their displeasure that long-time athletic director Aracely Mora was passed over for the job as dean of health sciences, physical education and athletics at IVC…The board voted 5-2 to appoint John Rodney Poindexter…Board members Marcia Milchiker and David Lang dissented… According to Irvine Valley College president Raghu Mathur, Poindexter is a well-qualified candidate and “brings a wealth of knowledge and background to this assignment.”...Psychology professor John Lowe, a member of the hiring committee, said that Mora was the best candidate for the dean’s position… (6/28/01)

     When he arrived, Poindexter proved to be a devotee of Mathurianism, i.e., the fastidious disregard of faculty opinion. Worse, judging by rumors, it seemed that Poindexter somehow posed a threat to safety, a situation that Mathur, and then Glenn Roquemore, steadfastly refused to recognize. 

     In the spring of ‘02, the problems at PE suddenly became public. The Times (6/29/02) reported that 

   All five tenured members of an OC community college physical education department have filed a harassment complaint against their dean [Poindexter], and his secretary has told campus police she fears for her safety after he allegedly chased her down a corridor and cornered her… Rod Poindexter, dean of health sciences, physical education and athletics at IVC, has been the subject of faculty complaints since shortly after he started his job a year ago… “Dr. Poindexter is becoming more and more isolated,” said the 11- page complaint filed with the college… “His behavior has created an environment where there is fear that he can ‘snap’ and physically hurt others and himself. We need help. The abuse, retaliation and discrimination need to stop.”… The complaint… asks that the dean “be removed from the campus during the investigation… in order to protect the safety of the department members and the liability of the school district.” … 

   The alleged confrontation between [secretary] Franzoni and Poindexter occurred Jan. 4. Poindexter said the relationship between them had been getting worse. “She went to the other side and started working against me.”… According to the campus police report, Franzoni had just come from a meeting with Poindexter in which he had told her she was not doing her work. She walked to the office of [faculty Ted] Weatherford… According to her statement to 

cam7us police, “In the next moment, Rod [Poindexter] came charging down the hallway directly at me. Rod pinned me in the corner against the wall” and began screaming at her… Franzoni also filed a report with the Irvine police department the same day. The officer wrote that Franzoni “repeatedly broke out into tears… I could sense [she] was very scared of Poindexter and very frustrated because the school officials don’t seem to be taking the situation seriously.”… Brent Shaver, Irvine Valley’s sports information officer, told campus police “what I did witness was Dr. Poindexter putting Suzie in a scary and threatening position.”…. 

     About a week later, the IWN reported that Franzoni was filing a “$1 million lawsuit” against the district. 

     Some expected Poindexter’s immediate dismissal. That didn’t happen. 

     After the Franzoni fracas and the faculty complaint, cops regularly came by the PE building in an effort at pacification. Meanwhile, Poindexter had other problems: e.g., by late spring, word spread that two administrators, including Poindexter, had grossly overscheduled for the Fall. When this was detected—by the ever-clueless Glenn Roquemore, who had failed to heed faculty’s warnings about Poindexter’s scheduling innovations—everybody’s scheduling was hurt. 

     As had been predicted, Cely Mora soon found a job at another district. On August 1, 2002, the IWN reported that she had been “named dean of exercise science, health and athletics at Santa Ana College” for a salary of “$106,812.” (The IVC deanship paid $97K.) Off she went. 

     On the agenda of the last board meeting was “Mora v. Mathur.” Evidently, it is a discrimination lawsuit. 

Wall bounceage: 

     One quiet morning in mid-August, the PE area again exploded with excitement. Paramedics rolled up and then carted someone away, and a rumor quickly spread that there had been a “fight” between Poindexter and an instructor. According to the rumor, Poindexter had ended up on the floor and had dialed 911! 

     About three weeks later, the IWN reported that Poindexter “has been put on paid administrative leave by the SOCCCD board of trustees” (Sept. 5, 2002). The IWN hinted that the board’s action was prompted by the latest Poindexterous fracas: 

   The decision came about two weeks after a confrontation between Poindexter… and… teacher Ted Weatherford… Campus police were called after an argument between Poindexter and Weatherford in the athletic offices on Aug. 14… Poindexter said he suffered back and neck injuries when Weatherford, the former chairman of the Physical Education Department, hit him with the door to Weatherford’s office… Weatherford… said he shut the door to his office after asking Poindexter to leave… Poindexter was informed on Aug. 27 of the board’s decision to place him on administrative leave… “I don’t know why (the decision was made) and they’ve (board members) told me nothing,” Poindexter said Tuesday. “I haven’t heard anything, they won’t return my phone calls.”… Poindexter… said he was not given a reason for being put on leave… [IVC President] Roquemore did not indicate when a decision would be made regarding Poindexter’s fate and did not know whether Poindexter would return to IVC… Poindexter suggested that the confrontation with Weatherford may have had a bearing [on the board’s decision]…   Poindexter said he and Weatherford had a meeting regarding Weatherford’s teaching schedule… Weatherford was upset, according to Poindexter, that he wasn’t assigned to teach some of the classes he had requested… The meeting began in Poindexter’s office, according to Poindexter… “He yelled about a tennis class and why it was being assigned to Jerry Hernandez,” Poindexter said. “He went storming down the hall and I went to calm him down.”… Poindexter said he followed Weatherford to his office to continue the discussion and Weatherford “slammed the door as hard as he could on me.”… Poindexter said he then “bounced off the wall” outside Weatherford’s office and suffered neck and back injuries that caused him to be hospitalized for six days. Poindexter said he strained his lower back and neck and doctors told him it will take approximately six weeks to fully recover… 

   After the incident, Poindexter said he returned to his office to call the campus police. The college nurse and paramedics then arrived and Poindexter was taken to Irvine Medical Center… Poindexter missed six days of work, but said doctors told him he was well enough to return to work on Aug. 26. The next day, Poindexter was informed he had been put on administrative leave… 

   Poindexter was not sure whether charges would be filed against Weatherford… “I thought he (Weatherford) would be suspended,” Poindexter said. “People tried to make it sound like it was my fault.”… Meanwhile, Poindexter will wait for a decision on his future… “I’ve been going to the doctor and meeting with my attorneys,” he said… 

   Weatherford… said an argument began after Poindexter suggested some physical education classes would be dropped… “I was concerned about classes being cut and he became argumentative,” Weatherford said. “I was calm and I said I didn’t want to argue.”… Weatherford said he then went to his office and Poindexter followed him… Weatherford said he then asked Poindexter to leave numerous times but he didn’t. He also denied that he slammed the door on Poindexter… “That’s absolutely not true,” Weatherford said. “I don’t know what he did, but I tried to close the door and he put his shoulder against the door.”….

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

     The latest issue of IVC’s Laser Beam notes Larry Oldewurtel’s selection as ASIVC’s “Teacher of the Year,” but it fails to mention Poindexter’s selection as ASIVC’s “Administrator of the Year.” 

     “What an oversight!,” thought I. They went to all that trouble to cook the books, and then they don't even announce Poindexter's victory! So I wrote the PIO: “Why the omission?”, I asked. He wrote back: “It was an oversight on my part. I’ll do a follow-up in the next Laser to acknowledge him, albeit belatedly. Thanks for catching it.” 

     You’re welcome! 

     Meanwhile, the latest issue of Saddleback’s Online Newsletter (4/23/02) offers some sage remarks by Chancellor Mathur, including this one:

 

“I am reminded every time I point a finger there are 3 fingers pointing back at me. It all begins with ME.” [Emphasis in original.]

     How true. —Chunk Wheeler

See: Board of Secrecy 

THE "BOARD OF SECRECY," by Chunk Wheeler

As you know, the district’s Board of Trustees (BOT) is the poster child, not only of the "eliminate locally elected boards" movement (check out the 1998 report of the Citizens’ Commission on Higher Education), but also of the "stamp out secretive government" movement. Arguably, the "secrecy" story begins in December of 1996, but I’ll skip ahead to the juicier stuff.

Back in April of 1997, during a closed session, the board acted to install Raghu P. Mathur (aka "Mr. Goo") as interim President of IVC, despite its having failed to include the item on the agenda—a clear violation of the Brown Act, the name of California’s anti-secrecy (in government) law.

Faculty and citizens were outraged; during the May Board meeting, we handed the Board a “demand” to “cure and correct.”

Naturally, the Board—or at least its “majority” of Frogue, Williams, Lorch, and Fortune—simply blew us off. Indeed, two months later, the Board violated the law anew: it held a closed meeting in which it reorganized the district, despite not having placed a reorganization, or anything like it, on the agenda. Further, administrative reorganizations are not among the actions that, according to the Brown Act, may be done in closed session.

We warned the BOT again; again, it blew us off.

In the following September, the Board did it yet again, this time in connection with Mathur's "permanent" appointment (and re an address by a visitor in closed session). To make a long story short, we sued the district for its multiple violations of the Brown Act (these suits came to be known as “Bauer I” and “Bauer II”), and all of that culminated in court decisions according to which the BOT was guilty of “persistent and defiant misconduct,” as one judge put it.

Naturally, the Board appealed—hell, they weren’t spending their own money—and, again, they lost.

It is worth noting that the most egregious Brown Act violator on the BOT was JOHN "BROWN BOY" WILLIAMS. In the course of the lawsuits, it came to light that the fellow had tried to broker a deal in order to secure the unopposed appointment of Mathur to the Presidency of IVC. Secretly, Williams approached Dave Lang with a proposition: if he (Lang) and his allies on the board (Hueter and Milchiker) were to not oppose Mathur’s appointment, then the Board Majority would reciprocate by refraining from firing the Board Minority’s “favorite” administrators, namely, Terry Burgess and Pam Deegan.

This is WAY illegal.

Amazingly, Lang did not reject the deal outright! He actually took the dang thing to Burgess and Deegan, but, to their credit, those two would have nothing to do with it, and so the Williams/Lang compromise came to nothing. Mathur was appointed on a 4 to 3 vote, and, soon, Burgess & Deegan went on to greener pastures.

HERE WE GO AGAIN:

It appears that the Board of Secrecy is back, only now it is led by Mr. Bean (Lang). On September 13, the Board scheduled a special closed session of the BOT. The agenda listed one item: an “Employee evaluation of Performance”—an evaluation of the Chancellor. (See graphic below.)

That was odd. As you know, very recently, the chancellor was given a raise (it was in part retroactive) and a new contract. He now pulls down a quarter million dollars a year (if you include the car allowance and benefits), making him the highest paid Chancellor in the system.


Now it is clear that, during this very long meeting, held in the “Catalina Room” of the Laguna Hills Marriott (in Dana Point), other matters were discussed than Mathur’s performance. I have it on good authority that the board also discussed some of the major issues cited by the accrediting agency in its reports of February: the “plague of despair,” the problem of delineating roles and responsibilities, and so on. But, again, none of that was on the agenda. Further, as far as I know, discussions of the kind occasioned by the Accrediting reports are not among the items that, by law, may be discussed in closed session.

I checked the district’s website under the heading “Governing Board.” There, one finds a list that includes

Board Meeting Schedule
Board Meeting Agendas
Archived Board Meeting Highlights
Nothing on the website indicates to Joe Public, or to me, that a special meeting occurred at all. I looked everywhere on the site: nothing.

Stay tuned. --CW [RB]

FOR MORE about the Board and the Brown Act, please go to "The Brown Act and Williams' Hypocrisy" in the BLOG's Archives (June 2000)

MOUSEBERRIES by Rebel Girl

All the PR boilerplate about student recruitment strategies makes a peevish Rebel Girl wonder just what these folks imagine they are recruiting students into, I mean aside from the obviously false surf, the moolah and the hotties.

(Peevish aside: Do I really work at an institute of higher learning which sees fit to insult our students, in particular, our female students, this way? Hotties?)

So, let’s consider, then, the actual physical conditions of our colleges. You don’t have to be a feminist Latina cartoon character-cum union activist to ask what students find when they arrive at IVC after forking over their money to attend a community college located in one of the wealthiest districts in the state, where the board has currently socked away tens of millions of dollars, some of which was used to renovate their boardroom last year in an apparent effort to resemble something like the helm of Star Trek’s Enterprise. That’s the vivid dream reality which board members experience--expensive Captain Kirk swivel chairs, electronic control panels, a gleaming golden dais (“Engage!”) and, if rumors prove true (and mostly they do around here), mighty towers of gourmet smoked meat sandwiches stacked on broad platters on newly varnished furniture arranged behind closed doors (no frozen vending machine burritos for our proud fiscal conservatives).

But what do the students experience?

Let’s examine the scene in just one classroom on a single day last week. I should say that I had begun a few weeks earlier by commenting to students that we were all lucky, very lucky this semester. Though enrollment numbers were low for this literature class, the Powers That Be had allowed us to continue. The classroom itself was newly painted--a first in my 14 years of employment. The previous year, walking into that same room suggested the act of lowering oneself into a grimy bathtub whose sides were marked by generations of dirty bathers attempting to cleanse themselves. (What does go on in these rooms?) Now the room was as sterile, barren and charmless as an operating room, but teaching is, at times, something like surgery and so, with that in mind, I slipped on my mask and gloves, and began the semester’s operation to excise ignorance and superstition, aiming to transplant into my patients a love of critical thinking, literature and the humanities after further congratulating us all on the clean walls, working clock, sturdy podium and reasonable collection of furniture in which to sit.

It all seemed a good omen. And so we began the semester.

Still, this room, despite its blindingly white walls, is no catch. It’s smaller than most classrooms and is stuck on the end of an old building famous for being turned inside out. The upshot is that we’re subject to the moans and groans and odd door slams of people we cannot see, namely, the denizens of the theater department, who inhabit the interior hallway and adjoining rooms. But over the years I have learned to take this in stride and have worked up a number of jokes that I deploy when necessary to acknowledge the interruption and move the class along. I find that teaching literature in the room gives me even more material to work with as I can invoke any number of literary references to account for the unseen opera next door: the shrieks are undoubtedly those of Poe’s unfortunate Fortunado, walled up in the catacombs; the amorous chuckles surely belong to Kate Chopin’s Calixta and Alcee; the slams of the invisible door? Why, of course, Ibsen’s Nora on her way out.

This morning in particular, deep into Anton Chekhov’s “Gooseberries,” I noticed a student looking distracted. I was reading at that moment from Ivan the narrator’s central soliloquy:

Apparently those who are happy can only enjoy themselves because the unhappy bear their burdens in silence, and but for this silence happiness would be impossible. It is a kind of universal hypnosis. There ought to be a man with a hammer behind the door of every happy man, to remind him by his constant knocks that there are unhappy people, and that as happy as he himself may be, life will sooner or later show him its claws, catastrophe will overtake him--sickness, poverty, loss--and nobody will see it, just as now he neither sees nor hears the misfortunes of others. But there is no man with a hammer, the happy man goes on living and the petty vicissitudes of life touch him lightly like the wind in the aspen tree, and all is well.

At first, I attributed the student’s roving eyes to her indifference to the great but sometimes inaccessible Russian, but then, following her eyes, I saw what she saw: a single mouse, rambling across the flat panels of fluorescent lighting fixtures, through which he (she?) was exquisitely illuminated from furry tail to pink foot pads. It was like watching the Discovery Channel. The eyes of the rest of the students then followed, with the predictable surprise and oohs and ahhs, not of delight but something else which is triggered by vector in the human cerebellum, an autochthonic revulsion which Rebel Girl has herself learned to control, but to which she sometimes succumbs in too-close proximity to administrators and Republicans.

Class stopped while we watched the critter make its confident way out of our illuminated line-of-sight, which took some time as the mouse seemed not in any hurry.

“Don’t worry,” I reassured the students, a couple of whom seemed ready to run, “it’s not heavy enough to dislodge the panel.” This sounded authoritative, even to me. “It won’t fall on you. After all, it’s not a rat. Rats are much heavier.”

I know that I am not at my best when confronted by a mouse, especially in public, but I felt like I had done a reasonable job under the circumstances, notwithstanding my complete unfamiliarity with vector zoology. I didn’t squeal. I didn’t run. I held my ground and my podium and discoursed on the relative weight of mice versus rats. Pretty good, I think.

In due time, we returned to Anton Chekhov, but somehow, the moment was different. Something had been lost when the mouse was found. It may have been a tiny moral, one as uncomfortable yet unavoidable as the rodent in its magnificent silhouette.

As a colleague’s students have recently reminded me, in their thoughtful work with Linda Barry’s fine essay, “The Sanctuary of School,”-- the physical conditions of school facilities, the available or unavailable resources--all these telegraph a message to students about how much or little they are valued, respected, supported.

Through the years, my students and I have worked hard to transcend our humble, dilapidated surroundings, knowing that our goals are greater than the places in which we toil. So we continue to write, discuss, review, argue, analyze, even as the trails of ants crisscross the ceiling, walls, floors, desk tops and yes, the white board on which I make notes. (Fun fact: Did you know that an ant will not cross a fresh marker line? It will wait until the line is fully dry. Lasso a few and see for yourself.) We carry on despite the leaking ceiling, the windows that either won’t open or close, and the air conditioning system that either freezes or roasts us or else is utterly indifferent to its purpose. When we discover broken furniture, we carry it out by ourselves so no one will be hurt--only to discover the broken furniture miraculously returned, as broken as ever. And don’t get me started (at least not right now) on the state of sanitary facilities that the college provides. I am confident that many Orange County homes have more toilets than are provided for the women frequenting A-200 (four!)--this for a building with 10 classrooms (25-45 students in each throughout the day) and at least 25 faculty offices. Additionally, our restroom extends by default its ungenerous accommodation (if you can call it that) for the nearby restroom-less A-400 (theater, several classrooms and offices). You do the math; I’m only an English major who sometimes likes to visit a restroom. My students have told me that in order to avoid the conditions they find, they will not void on campus. Perhaps this may explain student retention issues. Ha ha.

Clearly what is needed is a mouse with a hammer to knock at the doors of the satisfied trustees and administrators, to, as Chekhov advises, remind them of those others who are not-so-satisfied.

But the marketing types are busy creating an illusion of shiny high-technology, of surfers, of manicured lawns and hotties.

And the trustees and administrators would rather believe that illusion (after all, they paid for it) than what my students and I see with our own eyes on a daily basis. As another Russian, Pushkin, once said, “The lie which elates us is dearer than a thousand sober truths.” --RG

STEVE FROGUE COMMITS PHILATELY WITH FORMER OPPONENT! by Big Bill

A coupla weeks ago, I got a letter from your pal and mine, Steve Frogue, the man who resigned his trusteeship in 2000 so that his cronies on the board could hand-pick his replacement. (Click on graphics below.)

They chose TOM FUENTES. D'oh!



A guy like Fuentes would never make it onto the board through the front door. So Steve and his pals snuck him in through a back alley.

I thought you'd like to see the letter. Steve is pretty chatty and friendly. He even sent me some vintage "Boy Scout" stamps (see). He almost makes me feel bad about all those Messerschmitts I used to put him in, via Photoshop.


Back in the mid-90s, students swore up and down that Steve, a High School teacher, denied the Holocaust in class. (Several signed affidavits to that effect.) Steve, an avowed conspiracy nut, actually told the LA Times (11/25/96) that he thought the ADL (a Jewish civil rights organization) killed JFK. And, sadly, Steve really did invite the head reporter of Liberty Lobby (an undeniably anti-Semitic publishing "empire") to his ill-fated "Warren Commission" Forum. Plus, in the course of his trustee duties, Steve really did recommend to audiences that they read the publications of the Institute for Historical Review--a prominent and notorious Holocaust denying organization.

On the other hand, he's nice to his cat Buster. --BB

P.S.:

Oh, what the hell. Let's do it one more time!

I call this, "Steve beats a hasty retreat!" (Click on it to see larger version.)

MONEY AND HOTTIES by Chunk Wheeler

ARE YOU INTO "FAMILY VALUES" LIKE ME? If so, go to the part of the district website that is devoted to “The Chancellor’s Opening Session”:

http://www.socccd.org/chanc/update8-16-05.htm

There, you will discover, among other things, a 60 second radio spot that has been broadcast on KROQ-FM. The spot presents an exchange between an announcer and a surfer dude of the Keanu Reeves variety. Here’s the exchange:

ANNOUNCER: We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all the lessons of life can be found in surfing. Let us demonstrate. Let us propose that this surfboard—

SURFER DUDE: Yeah, dude: one God, one fin!

ANNOUNCER: —is the path you carve through life.

SURFER DUDE: Wow, heavy, the path.

ANNOUNCER: And without wax, that path is—…wipe out!...—slippery. What you need is wax—metaphorically speaking—which is to say, college.

SURFER DUDE: Yeah, dude, wax! …um, college.

ANNOUNCER: College is the wax that sticks you to the board that is the path you carve through life and so the waves can be triple overhead, and you will fear no evil.

SURFER DUDE: No fear!

ANNOUNCER: And you can travel through the green room and blast out of the tube with a career and money and hotties and happiness!

SURFER DUDE: college equals a career and happiness! –and some wax, right?

ANNOUNCER: close.

ANNOUNCER: My OC COLLEGE dot com. –Surf on over! Giving away an iPod a week!

I wonder if the writer of this spot knew that he was peppering his surfer skit with allusions, not only to Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, but to the Declaration of Independence and Psalms?

Surely he is a scholar of the first rank!

I must be a chump. I keep telling students that getting a good education is important because….well, never mind. Now I’m embarrassed. Gosh, it never occurred to me to mention HOTTIES.

The above site also outlines a presentation made on opening day by Tracy Daly, the district’s marketing person. (She seems nice; why does she always seem to be cowering?) According to the site, Tracy gave an update, which concluded with “three things that everyone can do to promote the Colleges.”

They're pretty good. Are you ready?

1. Be positive.
2) Think what you can do.
3) Keep 5 schedules in your car.

Yes, being positive is so important. No doubt she can trace that particular nugget to the Chancellor, a fellow, who, when he was President of IVC, used to distribute a handout about "attitude." It offered the following positive suggestions:

:-) Give yourself one compliment per day.
:-) Have a “Brag Buddy” to share successes with.
:-) Say to yourself at least ten times per day, “I love myself” or “I like myself.”
:-) Make a photo copy of the palm of your hand and give yourself a “pat on the back.”

That last suggestion's so deep, that its depth stretches all the way from the universe to the black hole in space (to praphrase Tony Orlando).

Tracy offers some concrete suggestions for “what you can do,” including “take as many students as possible in your classes.”

Why didn’t I think of that!?

Ms. Daly also helpfully explains about the “5 schedules”: you've got to have some handy, cuz students, she says, can be found “in hair salons, gyms and shopping malls.”

Is that where we’ve been scrapin’ up students all these years? --CW