"If indit ironic"

Our readers have been reacting to some of the special comments that were solicited in IVC’s now famous “student satisfaction survey.”

The chronically clever Bohrstein has offered some interpretive advice. Some student remarks, he seems to say, are baffling or abstruse. These students, he writes, seem to be leaving out crucial context--elements without which no real sense can be made of their stunning verbiage.

Being the generous fellow that he is, he offers some plausible complements:

"It would be nice if more classes were offered in the summer," should have the following appended, "because I failed all of my classes this semester."

"I feel that the assessment test does not accurately evaluate.” [Addition:] “It said I was stupid.”

Why, yes, that does make things clear.

Bohrstein identifies his favorite comment, which, as it happens, is mine too:

Yes! I WAS VERY OFFENDED BY HEARING ABOUT THE VIEWING MATERIAL FOR HUMANITIES 73. THE TEAHCER SAID THAT PART OF THE STUDY WAS GONNA BE ON RAUNCHY RATED R DIRTY COMEDY FILMS, WHICH I FIND TO BE SEXUALY HARASSING ESPECIALLY IN A PUBLIC CLASS ROOM. SO I DECIDED NOT TO PETITION THAT CLASS. I HOPE THIS TYPE OF BEHAVIOR WILL BE RULED OUT OF ALL PUBLIC SCHOOLS. I ALSO BELEIVE THAT ITS WRONG TO CHARGE A STUDENT FOR NAPKINS, PLASTIC UTENSILS, AND CONDIMENTS JUST BECAUSE THE STUDENT DOESN'T BY LUNCH ON THAT GIVEN DAY. I TRIED TO TAKE A PLASTIC FORK AND SOME KETCHUP AND THE CASHIER WANTED TO CHARGE ME FIFTY SENSE. AND SHE SAID THAT THE UTENSILS AND NAPKINS WERE FOR CUSTOMERS ONLY. I FELT UPSET BECAUSE I JUST BOUGHT $10.00 WORTH OF FOOD AT THE CAFETERIA EARLIER THAT WEEK. UNTIL THEY CHANGE I WILL NEVER GO BACK TO THE CAFETERIA AGAIN. I WOULD APPRECIATE A RESPONSE FROM THIS. THANK YOU.

Bohrstein’s eagle eye spots something particularly good in this fine rant:

"Really? Fifty sense? That's like [a] super sixth sense, right?"

In this instance, BS casts no light, not for me. Nope. Whatever this woman was referring to, it was something that one can “charge.” One cannot really charge a sense—such as, say, vision or ESP or anal probe sensitivity.

I suspect that this woman’s (?) instructor (Hum 73 is “Film genre studies”) did not actually say that she would be showing “raunchy rated-R dirty comedy films.” On the other hand—hey, maybe I should sign up for this course. It sounds really good.

The woman was plainly incensed by being charged for that plastic fork and ketchup she took from the cafeteria on a day when she bought no food there (but where, days earlier, she had spent ten whole bucks).

She is a woman of action. She has already commenced boycotting the cafeteria. But that is not all. She demands an official response to her bitter complaint.

I wonder what it is like to be this woman? I have no idea. It’s a little like wondering what it’s like to be a bat.

Another among my favorites is this: “If indit ironic that IVC….”

The rest of the sentence is disappointingly conventional. (He/she actually goes on to make a good point.) It’s that stunningly original introductory phrase that caught my eye. Now, if I were to start that sentence, I might write something mundane, such as:

Isn’t it ironic that…

What kind of being are we dealing with here? What manner of creature could arrive at something as wonderful and prodigious as “If indit ironic”?

Good Lord! I’m still reeling!

There are, in fact, many good points made by students in the survey. We will no doubt note them and then assemble and launch the necessary "work groups" and "action teams."

But, in time, all of that will be forgotten. I do not think, however, that I will ever forget "If indit ironic."