Blast from the Past: "Not-So-Secret Service" (Rebel Girl)

As we count down the months, weeks, days, minutes seconds to the departure of Raghu Mathur, we at Dissent will recall some of the highlights of his tenure.

After all, you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone, right?

Today, a reprint of former IVC adjunct instructor Andrew Tonkovich's Open Letter to Raghu Mathur, first published in the OC Weekly on December 30, 1999 under the title, "Not-So-Secret Service." The wire service picked up the story and while driving home from her holiday sojourn in Mexico, Rebel Girl and Red Emma were delighted to hear all about it on KNX 1070.

A little background: Mathur, at that time, was president of IVC. He requested -and was granted - an unprecendented security stipend to protect himself from faculty and staff. Mathur singled out Professor Kate Clark, accusing her of disguising her voice and leaving racist threats on his answering machine. (You can't make this stuff up.)

Dear President Mathur:

I note that the South Orange County Community College District board of trustees recently awarded you a $200 monthly "security stipend." I am sure that, like me, all Irvine Valley College (IVC) faculty, students and staff will sleep better knowing efforts have been made to address the menace to your personal safety caused by threatening phone calls and e-mail (undocumented); political attacks on you in [the faculty-run] Dissent, the Los Angeles Times, The Orange County Register, OC Metro, OC Weekly, and [the student-run] Voice newspapers (constitutionally protected); and letters mailed to you via the U.S. Post Office (also, oddly, unavailable).

I am writing to offer my services as a security consultant. As your security stipend is equivalent to a full two weeks' pay for my own work as a part-time instructor, you'll understand that I'm eager to start work immediately.

As your presidential security consultant, I am prepared to:

• Escort you to and from your car and the administration building every morning and evening.

• Maintain secret files on high-profile personnel (we'll call it an Enemies List), including—but not limited to—academic-senate president Peter Morrison, philosophy instructor Roy Bauer and anthropology instructor Wendy Phillips.

• Put English instructor Kate Clark under immediate 24-hour surveillance.

• Taste your meals to check for poison.

• Maintain a physical-security cordon in front of your office window.

• Enforce the IVC clap.

• Proofread your memos and letters for punctuation and spelling errors, cliches, factual errors, and ad hominem attacks.

—I hope you'll contact me immediately for an interview, or at least file this letter.

-Andrew Tonkovich

From The conservative board majority