"Let's kill all the lawyers": the October board meeting

Dang! How come I can't cite this sign as harassment?

Showed up for the board meeting tonight, six minutes late. D’oh!

As I entered the “Ronald Reagan” School Book Depository, James Wright was being recognized as the 2009 “Outstanding Administrator of the Year.” Jim Gaston was up next as “Outstanding Manager of the Year.” He noted his lack of humility. Funny guy.

The IVC Foundation people played a nice little slide show jam packed with goofy factoids about students training for jobs that don’t yet exist, learning knowledge that is obsolete before they get out to the parking lot. Toward the end, somebody seemed to pull the plug on it. No fade out, nothing.

Nasty, busy administrative fingers

Tom Fuentes seemed terribly pleased about the whole thing. Told a goofy story about seeing a “gentleman” at UCI reading a book this morning. Gotta keep learning things, said the guy. Tom next spotted this same guy in the slide show.

What does it mean? I have no idea.

The only “public comment” was from Saddleback College Academic Senate Prez Bob C, who presented a packet of material concerning the dangers of smoking, of second-hand smoke, etc. I do believe that Bob and students want to make the Saddleback campus smoke free.

Tod Burnett introduced a dozen or so students from Egypt—evidently, they are participating in a State Dept.-funded program involving 20 community colleges around the country. These kids seemed friendly, glad to be here.

Board reports were mostly unremarkable, though Dave Lang did introduce his theme for the evening: that the district will be receiving significantly fewer Basic Aid bucks ($17 million, I think) and that the district/board has strayed from its guidelines for spending such money. He also said he was concerned about articles he’s read about students having difficulty being accepted for transfer.

Once again, John Williams gave no report at all. He’s become the board’s cardboard figure trustee.

Chancellor Raghu Mathur reported that he had participated in a “fashion show” at the Laguna Woods Republican Club. Sounded like hell. He looked like sh*t.

Fuentes said something unpleasant about matching money for—I didn’t catch it, maybe scheduled maintenance—something about the extra Basic Aid money the colleges are getting for increased enrollments. Gosh, I just can’t listen to the man anymore.

I think he said that he didn’t like last month’s decisions about Basic Aid spending, and so he wanted to move toward a “reconsideration” of that item. Nancy Padberg pointed out that it would be unfair to yank funds that have already been promised. Fuentes snorted. I guess Mathur will come back with more info next time. Gosh, this sounded important, but, like I said, I just can’t stand to listen to this stuff anymore. Sorry.

There was a slightly weird and very earnest presentation of “veterans outreach” at the two colleges. (See slide show.) I don’t think there’s anybody who doesn’t support veterans and these programs, and, as usual, the trustees fell over themselves praising the vets and the presentation. The latter, though highly praised, seemed a bit like a dream or even a nightmare, as though something was very wrong and nobody was saying what it was. Maybe it was just me. Sometimes I’m just not fit for human company.

In the end, Fuentes made a speech about the importance of veterans in Orange County. Blah, blah, blah, he said. Gosh, really, I can hardly stand to listen to the man.

I think he mentioned his liver.

Jim Gaston was asked to discuss item 6.1, a contract with Neudesic for software for the “Sherpa project.” Big bucks (up to $900K) are involved. Gaston was pretty excited about all the whizbangery that he and his people were setting up that would help students when they try to enroll in a class but it’s closed. Something will pop up and say, “Dude, sorry you can’t enroll in this class, but why did you want it in the first place? Maybe we can direct you to something that fits your schedule!” And then menus and photons and such will pop up and guide students to the promised land. Evidently, what we’ve got going for students online is so epoch-shatteringly cool and attractive that other districts wanna buy it from us, and so, you see, this Neudesic thing is actually an investment!

The board discussed a policy revision of something called “Academic Renewal.” Evidently, a student can sometimes ask to have a whole semester of grades deleted from their record (although nothing is really deleted, said Gary, as though that would reassure everyone) in order to delete just one unfortunate grade. Lang and others seemed puzzled by all this. Me too. Whatever, they approved it.

More than a dozen Egyptian students

The board checked out the two colleges’ faculty hiring priority lists. Lang wanted to get a ballpark figure of how many of these hires would be pursued. Mathur yammered for a while about how we’ve gotta keep an eye on the 50% Law (which requires that at least half of expenditures go to faculty salaries and benefits), blah, blah, blah. He couldn't give a “definitive” number. But Lang kept pressing, asking for an “educated guess,” and so Mathur spit out “20-25,” though I think I heard somebody yell “30.” Lang just smiled that dubious Milquetoast smile of his.

I've forgotten why, but, at some point, Marcia Milchiker referred to Shakespeare’s line that we should “kill all the lawyers,” and that inspired eyebrow archery and a slow burn from Don Wagner. But it was all in good daffy fun, I guess. You know Marcia.

One of the slides for the Veterans presentation had sported a misspelling--of the word “college” (an “l” was left out). At some point, I think Don slyly attributed the blunder to the jokers at USC who had made a video for the veterans programs. This was evidently a jibe intended for Tom, who is a notoriously avid booster of all things USC, whatever that means.

At long last, we got to item 7.5, the nasty little report that Fuentes had requested about “college professors in Orange County.” For years, said Tom, he has encountered people from the State University and the UC systems who were “surprised” by community college salaries. Well, said Tom, this report vindicates such reactions, what with the average salary at CSU Fullerton being $6,000 less than the average at SOCCCD.

Fuentes was cherry-picking. In fact, the UCI salaries were much higher than SOCCCD salaries, and, of the four county CC districts, SOCCCD salaries were second from the bottom.

Bill Jay noted that, when it comes to salaries, it is very hard to compare apples with apples, and besides you’ve got to consider the great difference in instructor “load” between systems.

Nevertheless, in the end, Fuentes pronounced the report “informative” and “interesting.”

God, he hates us.