The policy disappearance mystery, part 3, and I do hope this is the end of it

OK, so, evidently, it’s like this. Trustee Marcia calls up and says, “Hey, morons, you’ve got typos in the 4011 (administrative hiring) policy,” and so the word goes out: 4011 is supposed to get pulled. Only somebody pulls 4011.1—that’s faculty hiring—instead. In the meantime, somebody else, not sure who, rolls this big rotten pumpkin onto the third floor, and nobody thinks too much about it, but, at a certain point, it starts to stink and the county hazmat boys are called in, cuz you can't be too careful, what with terrorists under every rock. And so—don’t ask me how—a fragment of pumpkin gets lodged between some classified employee’s teeth, and that causes her to grab a toothpick, and that’s pretty much how 4011.1 gets replaced with 4011 on the district website. But then somebody takes a big dump in the executive washroom, and Mathur hurriedly evacuates the entire 3rd floor (methinks he doth protest too much), and somehow, in the mad scramble, the original 4011.1 gets lost and maybe rolls into that pumpkin, which, natch, gets carted off with the bomb squad, which comes along with the hazmat crew, which is headed back, by this point, to Santa Ana or wherever. So, later in the afternoon, somebody says, “Good Lord! These faculty are screamin’ bloody murder over that stupid faculty hiring policy, and we need to get it back up there!” But, by then, 4011.1 is in that pumpkin in Santa Ana, and there’s no getting’ it back without a court order or at least some pumpkin papers. Natch, everybody's in a panic and goes hunting for some copy, any copy, of 4011.1, and they find one, only they don’t realize it’s the wrong one. I mean it’s the wrong one like a lit match is the wrong thing to stir your tub of gasoline with. So they stick that up there and that causes the faculty to achieve 150 decibels of sheer freakazoidal schriekatude. That’s when somebody brings in some Sweet Potato Pie, and that gets passed around, only it makes Gary sick, so when he shows up this morning, he’s seriously unprepared for Carmen and the Devil waiting in his office with a big bloody steak knife. But it all gets straightened out, which is good, cuz, you wouldn’t believe it, but this hiring policy SNAFU is nothing compared to all the other stinking pumpkins and anxious, desperate employees in this goshdarned district.

And, oh, the Accreds are coming tomorrow (at SC). Are you ready? Hope so. Good luck.

(I do believe that the CORRECT version of the faculty hiring policy--4011.1--is now posted at the district website.)