YESTERDAY Columbus Day was observed, and Rebel Girl's son, a kindergarten student, returned home with the construction paper ship in a bottle pictured above. The "poem" printed on the sail with the drinking straw mast reads:
In fourteen hundred ninety-twoIt seems to Rebel Girl that, during her elementary school years, Columbus Day marked the beginning of a season that ended with Thanksgiving. She spent much of that time with her long black hair plaited into two braids, clutching ears of corn and colorful gourds. She screamed at the parade of explorers and pilgrims disembarking from their white-sailed ships: "Welcome to our shores!" and "We will teach you to plant corn!" In the play, the pilgrims taught her how to bow her head and give thanks. Her feathers were construction paper, her brown dress was fringed with yarn, her feet were bare but her hair was real.
Columbus called aboard his crew.
Mighty strong and brave was he,
As he sailed across the sea.
She was an all-purpose Indian in the school pageants, retired after Thanksgiving so that the children more apt to be cast in the Nutcracker might take the stage.
It's all coming back to her.
MEANWHILE, as an unconscious part of their private observation of Columbus Day, Rebel Girl's family finally gave in and called Roto-Rooter about the sluggish kitchen sink drain which had, over the weekend, while Rebel Girl tried one solution after another, resulted in much dishwashing being done in the adjacent bathroom sink.
The plumber arrived, a burly overly polite fellow who kept calling Red Emma "sir." His story finally came out: he was a marine, happy to be back after two tours, carrying shrapnel in his body, hoping to move with his wife to Murrieta, buy a house and become a parole officer. He had been in the original assault on Fallujah.Rice was the culprit. The plumber warned us about too much faith in the InSinkErator. I wouldn't put anything down there, he said, except, maybe, lettuce.
16 comments:
In fourteen hundred ninety-two
Columbus sailed the ocean blue.
He had three ships and left from Spain;
He sailed through sunshine, wind and rain.
He sailed by night; he sailed by day;
He used the stars to find his way.
A compass also helped him know
How to find the way to go.
Ninety sailors were on board;
Some men worked while others snored.
Then the workers went to sleep;
And others watched the ocean deep.
Day after day they looked for land;
They dreamed of trees and rocks and sand.
October 12 their dream came true,
You never saw a happier crew!
"Indians! Indians!" Columbus cried;
His heart was filled with joyful pride.
But "India" the land was not;
It was the Bahamas, and it was hot.
The Arawak natives were very nice;
They gave the sailors food and spice.
Columbus sailed on to find some gold
To bring back home, as he'd been told.
He made the trip again and again,
Trading gold to bring to Spain.
The first American? No, not quite.
But Columbus was brave, and he was bright.
Any verses about kidnapping and enslavement to come?
Why do you people hate America and hate freedom?
What do you expect them to teach five-year-olds?
Why do you apologists hate truth and full disclosure?
Teach the kids that the Columbus expedition was based on economic factors, not a romantic exploratory vision. Teach them that native cultures were enlsaved and decimated by disease, and that the church had much to do with it. What's so hard about that?
11:13--
So you reasoning is: we must keep things simple for five-year-olds; therefore, we must present false caricatures.
In the logic game, we call that a non sequitur.
How about offering a true caricature? Columbus encounters natives whom he hopes to enslave in order to secure gold? On one of his voyages, Columbus tells the natives: "bring me X amount of gold per week, or I'll lop off your hand with an axe." There's no gold, so he commences lopping off hands.
That one reminds me of Grimms' fairy tales. It's certainly something children can comprehend.
But it's true, too, which is a plus when you're teaching kids about history. Doncha think?
Can't teach that? OK, move on to the next "great moment in history."
But why make up lies? Just what is the point of that?
I didn't know Rebel Girl was Native American.
Rebel Girl is half Chicana, though that half makes lots of noise about being Spanish, not "Indian."
She does kinda look like a native, though, I guess. Check out her mug on her profile! An excellent mug indeed!
The whole point is is that she IS NOT Native American.
My mom always warned us about rice in the sink.
I have no joke here. I just laugh every time I hear Stan Freberg Presents The United States Of America: The Early Years, and, in particular, the Columbus-commemorating song, "It's a round, round world." It is worth noting that Stan Freberg, in that recording, was responsible for some of the most reprehensible, but at the same time highly amusing portrayals of Indians you will ever hear. Were Freberg alive, Sherman Alexie would surely kill him.
I remember about 10 years ago, Rebel Girl standing outside her office, reading from Columbus's journal (or his ship's log). It went something like, "When we made shore, the natives came out of the woods and looked at us. We attacked them and killed several of them. The others were astounded at our bravery!" That's not exactly it, but that's the gist. Whatever the wording, it didn't make him look too heroic, and it wasn't exactly from a hostile source.
of, Rebel Girl is always doing something like that - standing outside her office, reading some outrage or another.
What your point?
My point is that Columbus's own journal makes him look like a murderer, not a hero. Granted, he was "brave and bright" when it came to seafaring. Still a murderer, though.
Yeah, we should all be reading Columbus's journals.
As for the sink, I'm with Mr. Roto Rooter. I only use the insinkerator for scraps. I've learned my lesson. Everything else goes in the trash, which really makes me wish I had a compost pile.
But would rice go in a compost pile? I'm not sure.
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