Friday, June 15, 2007

Extolling danger in Orange County

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MY LIFE is way busy these days. But Sunny the cat is at the vet, and I’ve got to wait around for a phone call. Time to read the news.

EXTOLLING DANGER

This morning, the clever scribblers at the OC Register report on a program at Los Alamitos High School that warns students about the dangers of drunk driving.

The name of the article?

"High school program extols dangers of drunk driving"

—Extols? That can’t be right. I checked my dictionary. It means to “praise enthusiastically.”

Thought so.

POP TO IT

According to the LA Times, Garden Grove (which has neither) is contemplating partnering with an Indian tribe and opening a casino. Turns out GG is in the habit of contemplating goofy revenue-enhancing schemes:

[T]he city…has pursued ambitious plans before, only be to disappointed. One developer proposed a replica of the London Bridge across a man-made river...and another suggested a cultural center dedicated to the late King Hussein of Jordan.

I know. Why don’t they build a garden? Or a grove?

I guess I’m no libertarian, ‘cause I can’t help but view casinos as addiction generators/enablers. I mean, except for décor, what’s the real difference between a casino and an opium den?

The casino plan concerns the Gabrielino “Indian” tribe. But there’ s a problem:

There are an estimated 2,000 Gabrielinos in Southern California, but the splintered tribe is mired in a leadership battle and has yet to achieve federal recognition, which could complicate or even sink its efforts to build a casino.

Sounds dicey.

But GG wants its magic revenue source, and they’re determined to find it, even if they have to open an opium den.

"We're never going to see a significant boost in revenues unless we get something with a lot of pop to it," said the City Manager.

EVEN BANDITS ARE GETTING GREEN

Evidently, according to the Times, Orange County banks are being menaced these days by the “Landscape Bandit”, who is described as “heavyset, favoring sun hats and glasses and smelling of dirt….”

SORT OF

The OC Register reports that, a week before his big retirement party, popular and inspirational Tustin High teacher, John Sorenson, died unexpectedly.

Said one former student, “"He was sort of like a mentor….”

EXCELLENT

Meanwhile, Pioneer Middle School, in Tustin, was evacuated, owing to a bomb threat.

How did the evacuation go?

"I would consider it an excellent evacuation," said Tustin police Sgt. Pat Welch.

DEAD POSSUM MAYOR

On Wednesday, we learned that the Mayor of Newport Beach owns a house in the city that’s pissing off the neighbors:

The yard is overrun with weeds, and the lanterns on the front porch are caked in rust. The paint is peeling, the plaster is exposed, and a dead opossum reportedly lingered for several weeks.

One neighbor calls the Mayor’s place "the little junk house."

HONORED AND MOTIVATED

A new president has been named for Cypress College:

Michael Kasler, the campus's executive vice president, was named Cypress's 10th president Tuesday night by the North Orange County Community College District board of trustees.

Kasler issued a statement:

"I feel both honored and motivated…,” he stated.

CHIQUITA?

The Reg offers a story about a property rights battle over a big plot of open space called Chiquita Ridge. Lots of slippage up there, evidently.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I've been to Chiquita Ridge. I've tasted that banana. When I was a child, there were so many bananas. Now, only the one.

Anonymous said...

I too tasted 'Chiquita's ridge' . . .

Anonymous said...

Ha!!! "... a dead possum lingered for several weeks." How dare the poor deceased *linger* in the neighborhood before he ascended to possum heaven? That's almost as good as "extolling" the dangers of drunk driving.

Our language is in deep trouble.

Thanks for the chortles, Chunk.

Roy's obituary in LA Times and Register: "we were lucky to have you while we did"

  This ran in the Sunday December 24, 2023 edition of the Los Angeles Times and the Orange County Register : July 14, 1955 - November 20, 2...