Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Rank and Fail

     RANK AND FAIL. The faculty union (Faculty Association) is conducting an election, but the election won’t be valid unless at least half of the membership participates. The polls have been open for many days, but they close in two, and, as of this morning, participation was 40 or 50 short of the all-important 50% number.
     Wow.
     Union leaders were plenty worried, and so the word got out: it’s time to start twisting arms. The twisting commenced, and, as of mid-afternoon, it appeared that the effort was successful or nearly so. Whew!
     It’s a pretty miserable situation when membership won’t even show up for elections (voting is online and takes about 10 seconds, if one dithers), but, as we know, some unionists are more miserable than others. By this morning, IVC’s School of Humanities and Languages had achieved 100% participation in the election. But certain other schools that shall remain nameless (Fart Sine) are at a participation rate in the 20s.
     Failure to achieve a valid election would seriously embarrass the union, given that faculty and the district have entered contract negotiations, a period in which leaders routinely attend board meetings to speak on behalf of faculty, that supposed passionate and hard-working crew. When faculty don’t even show up for their elections, it kinda takes the starch out of all of it.

School of a Snifter
     SCHOOL F'ARTS. Speaking of certain, ahem, pesky schools and divisions (Fat Rinse), it turns out that IVC’s School of Fine Arts (Fat Risen) is attempting to change its name. Word of this development inspired lots of loose talk down at the A200 building (at IVC) this morning. One wag noted that “Fine Arts” has such anagrams as:
A Snifter
After Sin
Sane Rift
Fart Sine
Aft Rinse
Fat Risen
Fat Rinse
Fat Resin
Ant Fires
Shatter, The Rats
A Shit Loon Scoffer
     Fine Arts seeks to change its name to “The Arts.” Some mocked that idea. One wag suggested that Fine Arts simply change its name to the “School f’arts.” Very continental, that.
     For what it’s worth, here are some anagrams for "The Arts”:
Threats
Hatters
Shatter (past tense, I suppose, of shitter, as in "The faculty descended into the latrine, shattering all hope")
The Rats
     My fave: Shatter.
     Perfect.

*P.S. Anagrams of “School of Fine Arts”:
A Shit Loon Scoffer
Facile Hoof Snorts
Foolish Snot Farce
Folio Of Snatchers
Hoofs Of Clarinets
Fornicate Of Slosh
Young Theodore's right eye

8 comments:

  1. You made me laugh even though I think they should have the right to call themselves whatever they like. Too bad about the poor voter turnout. People want good contracts but then they are so lazy.

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  2. Now, now, now. Play nice.

    Over at UCI, it is the Claire Trevor School of the Arts.

    But that's at UCI. At community colleges it is mostly Performing Arts, Visual Arts, Fine Arts, etc.

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  3. School of the OZ....

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  4. talk about a troll, sheesh Roy.......

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  5. UCI also has Claire Trevor.

    I do think the schools should maintain the right to name themselves though I am not sure all the arts reside in the Fine Arts school...that said, the last time we had this discussion it was about the new name for P.E. yes? And isn't the new school of Languages giving themselves a new name? Let bygones be bygones.

    What I sense here is a bit of attitude about the FA crowd. How was their turnout in the union election?

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  6. Discerning readers will recognize that, in this post, I do not take a position on whether the name-change is a good one, nor do I suggest that schools should not normally decide what they are called. On the other hand, if FA decided to rename itself "Rybold School," we'd surely take away the right in that instance. --RB

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  7. It's a damn shame the FA has to beg members to vote. Many of the new faculty lack the history of IVC and don't realize the important contributions the union has made. Being a Full time instructor is more than just teaching your classes, it's also getting involved with the various governance groups, the Union and so on. Get motivated people this is your college too.

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  8. Do not lay all the blame at new hires. In my school, the new hires have turned out to take leadership roles.

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