Thursday, May 31, 2007

Enough to puke a dog off a gut wagon

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THE STUDENTRY around here sure can be peevish. I've got a bunch of bellyachers this summer that you wouldn't believe!


I finally asked one of 'em, "Dude, what's got your knickers in a twist, anyway?" And he said: "Why, it's that new Performing Arts Center! It's way cool, of course—except for..."

Other students chimed in: "—except for that awful color!"

RED a la MERDE

Well, yes, it's pretty shitty. Not the whole PAC building, of course. Just that weird colored wedgy part. Who was the knucklehead who picked that?

I can picture the scene: "Let's go with a shitty, rusty, brownish red, shall we? Yes. And let's make sure it looks all old and faded to boot!"

But of course! Splendid!

But wait a minute! We don't have to beef about it! We can repaint it, can't we? Sure! I bet the city would even cough up the dough! I mean, how much could a few cans of paint cost? Plus I've got a free weekend coming up.

SPECTRE CHROMATIQUE

First thing's first. We've gotta pick a replacement color. I wanna help out. You know me.

So I walked over to the PAC today and took the above snap. Then I did a Photoshop number on it. I came up with some mock-ups that show how that dang thing would look with a splash or two of some real color! Check it out:

HELPFUL MOCK-UPPERY

1. This is some kind of turquoise, I guess. Looks like shit. Well, no, but it definitely clashes with the sky.

2. White is always a bold choice. But nope. Tu dois ajouter un peu de couleur à ton édifice pour l'illuminer un peu.

3. Goth!

4. I once had a shag carpet that looked like this. It was so revolting, it could gag a dog off a puke-wagon.

5. That looks stupid.

6. Sanguine! Bold!

7. Tartan. I dunno.

8. Paisley.

Hey, this isn't as easy as I thought.

Tell us what you think! And for chrissake, let's be positive!

33 comments:

  1. How about just about anything other than something that looks a lot like fucking Saddleback's colors. When are we going to get a divorce and separate this district into to two?

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  2. Again proves the point that everything looks shitty to Chuck no matter what. Even a brand new building. A total pessimist. Chuck, thank you for the clarification.

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  3. Better yet, 12:29, when is the District going to rid themselves of goofy shits like you and return IVC to Saddleback's north campus?

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  4. Duh, it should be orange in tribute for the trees that were cut down to make way for it!

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  5. or, what are Scantron's colors?

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  6. I am feeling an urgent and pessimistic need for photoshoppery of the following: Steven Frogue's face, text of the Brown Act, cover of the Holy Bible (King James Version red-letter edition please), one of Raghu's inspiring "Attitude" or "Pulchritude" posters, or maye a blank check made out to Carol Sobel.

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  7. Mona sez:

    Don't plays with the trolls, people.

    I know they look cute with their long beards and pointy hats but they're a waste of time - and they want us to waste ours. Resist the urge.

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  8. Number 2's got my vote! Who'd of thunk no color at all would look good?

    I'm telling you, with a few cans of paint, we can make this building look really good!

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  9. Anybody else have color suggestions?

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  10. I will be evn bolder and suggest a mural, and first choice should be the giant Raghu head that was observed in the sky some months ago.

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  11. You're right, Mona, but it's hard, and reminds me of Samuel Jackson's speech to Tim Roth in the diner at the end of Pulp Fiction.

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  12. Common Chuck, you removed my post. I asked "what would Mona Lisa Diarrhea think?" and it has been deleted! I didn't even use the "F" word like your pals do! You've been caught! So, it's okay for you guys to censor and squelch, after all, being the blog cops, you're in control of what stays and what gets deleted. And then when ad hominem is finally used on you guys, well you don't like it so much! Bunch of poor sports you are! You sure can dish it out, but you can't take it.

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  13. Tell you what, 11:54, go ahead and put up a few specs about yourself, and we'll take a few shots at you. ok? We'll see what a good sport you are.

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  14. "Mona sez:

    Don't plays with the trolls, people."

    OK, Mona ... how do you know it's trolls and not trollops? Pretty sexist of you I'd say!

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  15. 1:31 PM, Specs? You gotta be kidding right? Show me some specs on Mona Lisa Diarrhea. There are none. I was just poking fun of her stupid alias. None of these people have specs up there and stuff that you do see in their profiles is just a bunch of self-gratifying BS. How about I just go by Jesus Martino Burrito? Now you may take your shot Mr. Wisenheimer Socialistczynski

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  16. mona lisa quesadilla8:51 AM, June 02, 2007

    Mona Lisa can spot the male narrative style when she sees one - can't you? It's, uh, so obvious.

    A tollop is a whole different story.

    Trolls live under bridges.

    Trollops can live in a variety of abodes.

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  17. Paisley, definitely.

    We can just impose the paisleys OVER the faux-briskish red...

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  18. Actually the inside of the new PAC is beautiful and functional, - uh, - that's the part of the building that was designed by the Fine Arts Faculty.

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  19. "Mona sez:

    Don't plays with the trolls, people."

    The inference here is; anyone that disagrees with them (their opposition) is beneath them. Therefore, just ignore them and they will go away. The pinnacle of academic snobbery.

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  20. "Puke" - such a magnificently descriptive word.

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  21. 7:53 has it right: ORANGE, to commemmorate and grieve and honor the orange trees that were removed. It'd look fabulous against that beautiful blue OK sky, too.

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  22. Sorry; I meant that beautiful blue OC sky! Should'a previewed.

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  23. You're correct in a way, 1:52; we do think that petty, vindictive, mean, greedy and rude people are beneath us. Yes indeeedy.

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  24. Discourse, yes; trolls, no. I support Chunk and Mona on this one.

    The troll should get his own blog but, well, that would require something more than sittng under a bridge.

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  25. 1:32 PM, You've just described yourselves perfectly. Thank you.

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  26. thank you Aunt Bea.

    7:53

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  27. nyah nyah 9:20. Your turn.

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  28. 9:20, you're welcome! Now run along and torture a small animal.

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  29. Did they paint it red because they could not afford real brick? Personally, I prefer a natural sand color. Oh perhaps the district could cough up the money that was needed to build it the way it was designed mostly all glass! So it would look like Superman's Fortress of Solitude. Oh they dont have the money, one of the trustees want to build a bramd new stadium for his foosball team.

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  30. 11:37, hey that's pretty evil of you to say something like that. I guess we all now know what's on your mind most of the time.

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  31. Someone has to keep an eye on you, 12:09.

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  32. Actually 11:05 AM, we are keeping an eye on you and we know who you are

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  33. You are obviously affiliated with Cheney and the like, then. How's the corruption of the justice system going?

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Trolls and flamers will be cursed by our team of black magicians